Living apart together is a norm where a couple lives in different houses but still is in a happy relationship.
Yes, it’s an alien concept in many societies, but there are different circumstances that promote LAT.
You might think that partners who live in separate houses face problems. But in reality, living apart together can also be a great way to strengthen your bond and keep communication alive.
So, if you’re interested to know more about LAT and its pros and cons, let’s start reading!
What is Living Apart Together (LAT)?
Living apart together (LAT) is basically a practice where a couple in a romantic relationship chooses to live separately.
It’s non-traditional in many countries since most couples prefer staying under the same roof.
However, people today have become much more financially independent, and they like living on their own.
In LAT relationships, a couple can be either married or unmarried. Even after marriage, a couple can decide to live in separate houses and continue to take care of each other.
For most couples, their long-term goals might be to move in together or to keep a set of clothes at each other’s place.
But norms have changed today. Younger couples, especially, want to live apart for some time before staying together.
In the end, it depends on each individual’s personal beliefs, as well as the circumstances surrounding his or her relationship!
If you’re wondering what reasons lie behind such decisions, then keep scrolling…
Why do couples live apart together?
There are many reasons why a couple can be in a healthy relationship and still choose to live away from each other. So, let’s look at some of the reasons why LAT has become so popular today!
1. They have different personalities
The most common reason why two people live in different houses in spite of being in a relationship is that they are far too different from each other.
For example, one partner can be obsessed with keeping the house clean and setting every little thing in a particular way.
But the other person might throw their dirty clothes and shoes in a haphazard manner.
2. Their families have an objection
Another big reason why so many couples live separately is that their families aren’t comfortable with the traditional live-in relationship.
This is especially seen in non-marital relationships, where there are cultural and societal constraints.
In this situation, a man and a woman will prefer living with their own families instead of staying in the same house.
3. Many societies do not allow LGBTQ couples to live together
Conservative societies in many countries do not accept LGBTQ couples to live together.
For example, a gay or a lesbian couple might be worried that if they started living together, others in the neighborhood would find out and take legal action against them.
But by living apart, they can comfortably date and stay safe. This same reason can apply to any member of the LGBTQ community who hasn’t out themself.
4. They have different career goals
Today, both men and women have different demands for their respective jobs. When partners are forced to stay apart due to work commitments, they choose to live in separate households.
This norm is especially common among married couples, where both partners work in different cities or even countries.
5. They have family obligations
Many people have family obligations where it becomes nearly impossible to leave their homes and settle with their partners.
For example, one or both partners might have elderly or ailing family members who require immediate care and attention.
Or they might have small children at home whom they can’t leave alone. Here, it becomes necessary to stay with family members rather than their partner.
Now, if you’re wondering if there are any benefits of this arrangement, find your answer here…
What are the pros of LAT relationships?
As you might have already guessed by now, there are many pros of living apart together. If you’re still not sure of what they are, then keep reading!
1. You can decorate the house as per your wish
Well, this definitely has to be one of the biggest advantages of having the entire house to yourself!
You can not only decorate the house the way you want to, but you can leave it as clean or messy as you want!
Be it keeping your favorite soft toy by your side or rearranging the wardrobe according to your color preference, you have the complete freedom to do what you wish.
2. Distance makes you love each other even more
You must have heard of the phrase, “Distance makes the heart grow fonder”! Well, it’s absolutely true!
When you both live away from each other, you truly understand the depth of your love. You become restless to see each other and when you finally do, the feeling is beyond anything else.
Moreover, the excitement that keeps bubbling up right before you meet is also irreplaceable!
3. Neither of you loses your independence
Retaining your independence after getting into a relationship is a tough spot for many people.
Fortunately, LAT allows individuals to hold on to their personal independence and comfort instead of constantly having to compromise with their partners.
Moreover, nobody will have to stress over household chores, like who’ll take out the trash on which days of the week.
4. There will be fewer arguments
Couples that live together have an unfortunate tendency to fight more. It can start off with small things like not sharing housework equally. But later, it can escalate to much more serious things.
On the other hand, if two people can maintain a relationship by staying apart, there will be less of these fights. You both will give each other the much-needed space and time to heal after an argument.
5. The spark won’t fade
Again, couples that stay together all the time can feel the spark fading much quicker in their relationship.
When two people are constantly being physical and intimate with each other, it can become boring within a few months or years.
But LAT makes sure that neither partner feels bored or unhappy with their sexual and physical intimacy. This proves to be a game-changer!
But of course, like any other arrangement, this too has some drawbacks. So, let’s know those here…
What are the cons of LAT relationships?
Even though LAT can be fulfilling for many couples, it’s not always the best idea. So here are a few reasons why you should choose to live with your partner instead of going for LAT.
1. Distance can cause miscommunications
Anyone who’s been in a long-distance relationship will tell you how terrible it can be at times.
When you and your partner are staying apart, there are more chances of miscommunication.
Since you aren’t physically together to solve problems, it can create issues later in the relationship.
2. There are chances of infidelity
Yes, LAT can not only create a physical barrier between two people but also an emotional one.
For example, if two people are living in different cities or countries, they can end up feeling attracted to someone else.
This often leads to infidelity and heartbreak, especially in long-term relationships.
3. LAT is expensive
If you consider the cost of living separately, LAT is much more expensive than moving in together.
Not only will there be two house rents or mortgages to pay, but it’ll have to be paid by two different individuals.
Moreover, other expenses like electricity and food can also pile up and become enormous.
4. People grow apart
If two people don’t see each other for months and months, there is a high chance that they might grow apart.
Gradually, both of them will lose interest in one another and realize that they’re better off living as separate individuals.
And if flexibility becomes a problem here, then the couple can grow even farther away from each other.
5. You will feel left out
Imagine a situation where you are in a LAT relationship, but everyone around you seems to be happier than ever with their partners.
It can be really frustrating at times to feel left out. The pain intensifies when others in your social circle have such lovely experiences with their partners.
A word from ThePleasantRelationship
Just like with anything else, LAT has its own pros and cons. But it’s important to remember that LAT works on mutual respect and trust.
Even though it’s hard to navigate long-distance, it’s never impossible!
So, if you and your partner are currently staying away from each other, make it a point to appreciate each other every day.
The nature of every relationship changes with time. So make sure that you both have enough time and understanding to work things out even while staying apart!
Are you interested to know more about ‘Signs He Wants You In His Future’ then click here?
Surabhi wakes up every day with a drive to craft words that can create a soulful impact. Creatively adventurous, she is always seeking to learn new skills and acquire new experiences. With a hidden soft corner for languages (especially Urdu), she writes poetry occasionally, binges on romantic shows, and LOVES to talk. A hustler, admirer, chaser, Surabhi is just another-someone who refused to give up on her dreams. She says, she is just somebody who’s trying to make herself a writer and for now, she’s just writing...