Curious about how to write wedding vows? Ah… I think I hear the wedding bells ringing. The idea of writing your vow is heart-touching… but are unable to make it?
I totally understand your frustrations… After all, the date is approaching and you haven’t written a word yet!
Don’t worry… because you reached the perfect place to make your wedding vows from scratch. This think-piece is your one-stop solution for your worries.
Whether you want a template for the vows or the content, you’ll get it all here.
To sweep your sweetheart off their feet on your big day, let’s begin…
…and I hope you invite me to your wedding 😉
How to write wedding vows Step-by-Step
Writing your wedding vows isn’t a piece of cake. You need dedication, research, persistence, and above all… love.
If you love your fiance, nothing is impossible. But don’t worry, you don’t need to get a dragon’s heart or fairy dust for it. With sheer effort and devotion let’s know how to proceed in this journey…
Step 1: Seek OK from your officiant
Depending on your culture and religion, writing your own vows might not be allowed. Say, you wrote the perfect vows for yourselves and you’re ready to say it on the altar.
The marriage officiant then says, “Religious wedding vows are more meaningful than yours” or “To be married with our God’s blessings, say the traditional wedding vows”. That’s not the best feeling, right?
Write your vows only after discussing with your officiant.
Are you guys allowed to make your own? Or, do you have to abide by the traditions only? If traditional vows are mandatory, can you also add custom ones?
If you can’t, understand the meaning of the traditional ones and accept them wholeheartedly.
Step 2: Seek OK from your partner
Only after you get the green signal from your marriage officiant, approach your partner. The reason? No point getting your partner excited only to get a NO from your officiant.
This wedding is special to you both… if there’s any disappointing moment in this journey, face it alone.
Next, talk to your partner… is he/she alright about writing your own wedding vows? Communicate honestly… if they usually suppress their feelings, be more observant.
If they don’t feel as committed as you, the vows might turn out disappointing. Also, is your partner into writing? If not, this isn’t a good idea at all.
Step 3: Understand your love story in-depth
Your relationship isn’t like your parents’, friends’, or any in the movies. Even if you relate with others, it’s only a part. Yes, you’ll soon get married, but sometimes it’s hard to understand your love.
So, this calls for a vow date. Have a date in a common favorite place. Somewhere you made great memories… somewhere you’ll call this place marks our love.
If you don’t have any place like that, choose a place you both like. Discuss your best memories, the hardships, when you fell for one another when you wanted to get married.
Get the outline with your story.
Step 4: Sort out the theme together
During this date, you’ll understand the highlights of your relationship. Are you guys both funny? Or, are you romance-ridden fools? Are you both laid-back or serious types?
Do you both have similar or complementary thoughts? Set the tone of your vows together.
To make the vows smoothly glide in, make matching openings and endings.
For instance, if they begin with “I promise”… don’t choose a different one. If you’ll end with a forever promise, they must too.
Keep the vows within 150 words, else you’ll tire out your guests.
Promise to finish writing your wedding vows at least a month prior to your wedding. You can’t make the best wedding vows overnight.
Step 5: Begin with your relationship
Before you begin writing, prioritize your relationship dynamics. How did you meet one another, how you fell in love, how you felt throughout the journey… think about it.
How did the relationship change your life? What kind of person were you before and after the relationship? Do you think you changed after this relationship? If yes, then how?
In your relationship, both positive and negative things happened. Keep the negative ones out of your mind. Focus on the brighter side of your relationship.
DON’T add any comparison with a past relationship. Mentioning an ex is quite disrespectful for your big day.
Step 6: Include what’s special about them
What kind of person is your partner? When you’re sad, do they accompany you to drink your sorrows away? Or, do they pull you out of your dreary mood?
Do they always turn the worst days into fun ones? Do they motivate you immensely? Or, do you find them cute despite their clumsiness?
When you hear their name, what kind of feelings bubble in your heart? Remember if they did something selfless and special… something you’ll feel forever grateful for… add that.
Add your relationship prior to dating. Were you friends, neighbors, coworkers, partner-in-crime, or love of your life…? Include it all.
Step 7: Add a splash of important memories
If it’s a long-term relationship, you guys have an array of happy and sad memories.
Times when you were heartbroken and they saved you… Times when you almost broke apart (I don’t buy it if you guys never almost broke up).
Perhaps, you felt extremely sick and hopeless… but your health returned with your partner’s care. Or, that they stayed beside you when your professional or family life was chaotic.
You may not have too many impactful stories if your relationship is still young. Whether you’re dating for months or years, focus on one memory. Add that instance, but not the entire story.
Step 8: Add what will stay constant
Sometimes, your relationship is perfect as it is. You don’t need to change a thing… because you’re so compatible already. If you already love them enough in some way, promise to continue that.
For instance, your bride sticks to you like a leech in bed… even if it’s scorching hot. You let them be because they’re comfortable. Add “I’ll always let you hug me tight while sleeping, even if it’s hot”.
Perhaps, your partner steals your hoodie and you find it cute. Use “I entrust all of my hoodies to you… I give up my ownership over my hoodies”.
Step 9: Go all out with references
Do you have any specific types of vows in mind? Do you want to make it romantic, cute, funny, sweet, or have a hint of your religion? Hopefully, you discussed this with your partner beforehand.
If there’s a particular theme or tone, search online or in local libraries. Take inspiration from online experts. Or, if you like a particular fiction wedding promise, look it up.
Pick something with romance, minute emotional phrases, and more humor. You may refer to Disney wedding vows, Outlander wedding vows, or even poetries and dialogues from your favorite play.
If there are too many you like, try mixing them up.
Step 10: Include both serious and funny promises
After the wedding, how will you change for the better? You can’t stop snoring, so even though it’s funny, it’s not possible. So keep searching for more doable promises.
For instance, if you slack off on your chores, promise you’ll bear equal responsibilities. Or, if you don’t care for yourself and your partner feels troubled… promise to cherish yourself better.
If they always plea for the last pizza slice but you want it as much, promise to give up that pizza slice forever. Or, if you find their selfishness cute, promise to spoil them even more.
Step 11: Stand out from the crowd
You’ll find many ideas online and offline vow books. Most of them are there because they’re mesmerizing. However, in this journey to write your wedding vows, don’t slack off.
Be more original than the ready-made ones. Else, how is it any different than repeating the traditional vows? Take ideas from sample wedding vows, but don’t use the same.
If you want to make your wedding day special, work hard on the vows and avoid clichés. Possibly, you’ll record your wedding ceremony and look back to this day again.
So, choose something you’ll not regret because it’ll happen only once.
Step 12: Say some promises for hardships
Life is always unexpected… it’s never all ups or all downs.
Naturally, you’ll face many hardships whether you adjust to living together, fall sick, go bankrupt, lose your job, or someone precious in your life.
That’s why traditional wedding vows have the “for richer, or poorer, in sickness and in health” lines. Everyone’s aware of the struggles, so in your personalized wedding vows, don’t leave them.
Promise how you’ll stay with them through rain and shine. Add a vow to support your partner during tough times. Make this the sweetest promise to your partner.
Step 13: Add a thought about your future
The future is uncertain but when you’re both together, nothing will get in your way. So, add in a promise “to share the rest of my life”.
In this marriage, whether you love, fight, or play… you’ll spend the rest of your lives together. You may have the same or different goals for your future.
However, you’re getting married… naturally you’ll align all of your opinions to build a healthy family. So, how will you work together to make it harmonious? What will you share with them?
What will you give them in the name of love? Do you vow to love them through all differences?
Step 14: End it with forever promises
Make sure you have similar endings. For instance, “Until death does us part“, “I’ll love you unconditionally”, “for the rest of the days of our lives”, “for all of eternity”, etc.
You’ll begin a new chapter of your life. Though a happy occasion, your wedding marks the beginning of a new challenge.
It’s natural to feel a bit unsure… even if they’ll always be your only partner in life. This nervousness is normal and every married couple felt it.
So, to assure both of your hearts, seal the vow with this eternal commitment.
Step 15: Connect it with your soul
While making the perfect appropriate vows, don’t forget about yourself. This is also your day so cherish yourself, your partner, and your bond.
If you have a good sense of humor, don’t ignore it. Does your spouse-to-be love your jokes? If yes, don’t forget to use that. If something scares you both, that’s a great idea. For instance, say…
“I promise to exterminate all cockroaches for you, even if I shit my pants”… good humor, heroic promises, and real!
Never include your partner’s inappropriate, embarrassing, or traumatic stories. Think twice if you’ll feel fine if your partner shared such stories.
Step 16: Seek a trusted one
If you’re no pro vow composer or never wrote anything similar before… you’re bound to feel nervous. If the theme is funny, you’ll doubt if it’s funny enough for your audience.
You don’t want anyone to judge your relationship or thoughts. So, ask a trusted friend or family member to review your vows. They may help you smoothen up the rough edges of your thoughts.
Ask them if they feel it’s boring, redundant, inappropriate, or messy in any way. If you have many people to help you out with this step, that’s even better.
The more the merrier… but if you’ll keep your vows a secret from your partner… ask them to be careful.
Step 17: Avoid unfortunate surprise vows
Though you decided your tone, beginnings, endings, length, and theme with your partner… things go wrong. It might be because of miscommunication or different perspectives.
For instance, you talk about being cool about his boys’ night outs… he talks about how smitten he was when he first laid eyes on you. Weddings bring out many emotions and things jumble up.
At this moment, reach out to your marriage officiant… because they won’t reveal the vows.
Ask them for a quick review about the tone, theme, and remaining stuff. Meanwhile, you’ll also know if it’s inappropriate for the wedding.
Officiants sometimes even ask you to show your vows beforehand. So, aim at two targets at once.
Step 18: Snip it here and there
After the reviews, look forward to aligning your vows in mentioned areas. But you might not notice the flaws instantly… so don’t check it every day.
For instance, you got a boil on your face. If you face the mirror from morning till night, you won’t notice the recovery. However, if you don’t check it throughout the day, you’ll easily notice the change at night quickly.
The same goes for vow editing. Give the editing a break for a week. Check the vows every weekend and read them out loud. Try to keep the words flowing harmoniously. If it doesn’t, edit that.
Don’t edit it more than thrice, else it might lose the charm.
Step 19: Practice!
Once your final script is ready, practice reading it. Hopefully, there’s enough time, so take it easy… but make sure you’re done before at least four weeks of the wedding.
Stand in front of a mirror… Don’t just read the vows, recite them to express your love. Make sure you have the perfect posture, your voice is loud and clear but sweet.
Feel free to video/audio record yourself. Notice if anything feels crusty and work on it. Don’t be afraid to get help from family and friends.
They might be busy with wedding planning, but they’ll gladly support you. Practice in front of them so you don’t get cold feet on the altar.
Step 20: Customize a vow book
Wondered from where you’ll recite the vows? Are you planning to memorize it completely? If you have a good memory, that’s cool. But is your bride/groom the same?
Perhaps, they’re not good with memorizing? Let’s not embarrass yourselves with forgotten vows. Rather, carry your vows with you.
No shade on writing it in the plain ol’ paper, but your vows are too precious. If you’re more into aesthetics, consider getting a couple vow books with your vows printed.
Other than your wedding video, you’ll also have the vows as memories of your big day.
Before getting into the depth, let’s prepare the outline of your wedding vows here…
Wedding Vow Structure (Wedding Vow Template)
The last portion got you confused? Well, we can make it easier. It’s not easy to make it fun and emotional at the same time.
However, if you know the structure of the wedding vows, you can gather the it-bits of your vows easily. Let’s get to work now…
1. Confess with your emotions
In your vows, don’t forget to say the three magical words. But you say “I love you” almost every day… so this time, make it meaningful. Add a sentimental reason with “I love you because…”
Your relationship is a result of a long journey and your emotions. So, refer to something sweet your partner did. For instance,
“_Your_partner’s_name_, you entered my life with your hands full of love and sweetness. I was able to get by my hard times for you. When the world didn’t stand beside me, you stayed… and I knew you were the love of my life.”
2. Promise to stick together
Wedding is the onset of a lifelong struggle. You’ll face ups and downs, you might even hate one another’s gut. I don’t wanna scare you… but it’s hard. It doesn’t end with being husband and wife.
So, promise to cherish your partner through all the pain. If you’re accepting them in front of the world, it’s time to show them your intentions. For instance…
“I promise to love, cherish, protect, and comfort you till my last breath.”
3. Let loved ones in on intimate memories
Add a hint of a real story in the vows. If you struggled together and made it through hard times, write it. Your friends and family want to know about your story!
For instance, you were in a long-distance relationship for years and didn’t know how to make it work. Or you lived in different time zones, were doubtful but still worked it out.
Share your struggles on the altar and make it even more sentimental.
4. Don’t mix romance with imaginations
Many wedding vows are about eternity and even beyond. Sometimes couples even promise to fall in love even when they take birth again.
These are undoubtedly romantic but don’t sound too practical. Don’t misunderstand me, I’m a sucker for romance, but I can’t forget about practical thoughts.
So, take the vows seriously and say something more meaningful. If you don’t want to say “for sickness and in health, for richer, for poorer”… then add something similar yet realistic, like…
“You’ll never have a lonely sick day”.
5. Ask for other’s support
It’s not easy to carry out all the promises. Sometimes, you’ll give up to raging emotions… and unfortunately hurt your partner. You might face difficulties following the promises.
Ever noticed your parents or other couples fighting? Yet they stay together… possibly, they do love one another and stay back for love.
However, emotions don’t always work the same. So, ask your friends and family to support you, to remind you of your love… so that if you ever forget, they’ll remind you of these promises.
But wait, that’s not all. You may miss some major important stuff if you don’t check these…
Tips for writing vows
Even if you write the wedding vows out with your heart, sometimes it still feels lacking. Don’t doubt your feelings, it’s only because you’re not used to writing vows.
After all, you’re no pro… but I promise that your wedding vows won’t be any less than a pro’s if you follow these…
1. Don’t delay too much
You need lots of time to write your own vows. If you wait for the eleventh hour, you can’t put it together. Even if you do, it won’t be as magical as it must.
Think about the moment you accept one another as your life partner. Do you really want to make it any less dreamy? To make the moment as magical as possible, begin writing right away!
2. Surround yourselves with memories
If you’re no pro, you’ll not get the vibes to write. Even the best writers need some inspiration to pen down their masterpieces.
So, bring out all the gifts you got from them. Each of them tells a long story and highlights certain emotions. Don’t worry if the gifts aren’t fancy… even a chocolate wrapper works for it.
It might be the first Valentine’s chocolate they got you. So, don’t underestimate the power of gifts.
3. List down their lovable traits
To make it sweeter, write about their good parts. Scratch that, write about how they make you happy.
Do they get you ice cream whenever you demand it? Do they stay on-call overnight when you’re down?
Or, do they sneakily grab your hand when you walk together? On rainy days, do they tilt the umbrella towards you to protect you?
Think about all the dates you experienced… and all the ways they made you skip a heartbeat.
4. Practice whenever you can
When the final draft is ready, practice reading it frequently. People skip this part because they carry a vow book. They’re confident about pulling it off confidently.
However, this is too risky, because the human body doesn’t work well when they’re nervous. Also, you’ll get time to figure out what emotions you’ll show your bride/groom.
If you have any pronunciation issues, fix that too.
5. Time your speech
Time your vow recital to at most 2-3 minutes. Check that when you practice it. However, don’t recite your vows at a stretch. Within the 3 minutes, you’ll say your vows with a pause.
For instance, if there are funny punch lines, your audience will laugh. Pause for 5-10 seconds while practicing. If there are emotional parts, along with the audience, take time to brush away your tears.
Don’t continue the speech with suppressed emotions. Let your loved ones wait while you express it all. Make sure you don’t exceed 3 minutes.
6. Take help of devices
You may face difficulties while judging the speech timing.
For instance, how long do you wait for others’ expressions? When will you resume your vows? Will you wait until everyone is silent? Or, will you resume when the sounds slowly lower?
You may not always have a friend or loved one around. So, call a friend, ask them to express their feelings while you recite the vows, and record this call.
Notice how long they took to express their emotions. Which part did they respond to? Those are your pauses and pause lengths.
7. Avoid absolutes
“I’ll always love you” is normal and cool. However, “I’ll never get angry”, “I’ll always listen to you” “I’ll always be your knight in shining armor”. These promise a perfect future.
Think you’ll really never get angry? Or that you’ll always listen to them even if you think they’re wrong? Let’s avoid the always and never because life is beautiful even with its imperfections.
8. Don’t add too much
There might be multiple special memories… or too many precious things that happened on one memorable day. That’s okay, but calm down a bit.
No need to add every last bit of your memory. You may go on forever, but your guests might not like the long stories. Keep everything moderate and wrap it up in short.
Share only what matters to you both the most.
9. Be as cheesy as you want
This is YOUR wedding day. If you promise to love your spouse “to the moon and back”… if you feel that they are your “fated pair and nobody else can replace them”… go all out!
If you and your man/woman love the cheesy stuff, listen to Nike (just do it). Nobody will judge you and even if they did, let them. You are happy and that’s all that matters.
10. Hide the vows from your partner
Well, with all the practicing and editing… I wonder how many people will know about your wedding vows. Share it with others wisely, so your bride/groom don’t get to know about it.
Even if they did, it’s no biggie… however, you won’t get first-hand reactions in the altar. You won’t catch their million-dollar smile or teary eyes in a white dress/tux.
So, be choosy about who hears it out.
Still can’t think of any? Want some more ideas? Let’s hear it out from here…
Wedding Vow Examples to Inspire from
Wedding vows can be tricky to write especially when you’re starting from a blank page. So to give you a hint, here are a few examples that will touch your heart.
All the men out there. I’m sure you can’t wait to embrace your wife with your open arms. Well, you gotta wait for the wedding kiss to hug them tight.
Until then, you may only make do with words. Words of love and promises for eternity like these…
1. Dear _Partner’s_name_, I can’t take away your bad hair days, but I promise to make your bad days better. I may not be able to beat your boss for scolding you, but I promise to soothe your wounded heart. From today till all of eternity, I will never cease to love you.
2. Your love is like the light at the end of a dark tunnel. Your smile brightens up my dark sky like twinkling lights. You make me thrive to be a better boyfriend, fiancé, and now the best husband every day. I take the solemn pledge to love you forever with my all.
3. Today, I’m the luckiest person in the world, to get a wonderful wife, to be the husband of a glamorous woman. I feel overjoyed to receive your love in my life. So, allow me to stay beside you in sickness, in health, for richer or poorer, and for all the possible occurrences in our lives.
4. Life may bring us to the brink of poverty, but I promise to feed, care, love, and cherish you, my wife, before myself. From this day on, I promise to be your loyal and loving husband and prove it for the rest of my life, for you are the most wonderful thing that ever happened to me.
5. From today until forever, your and my fate entangles forever. Your aspirations are mine, my goals are yours. We will be two bodies and one soul. My love will multiply with yours. I promise before God and loved ones, I’ll forsake everyone for you and stay beside you until death does us part.
6. On this auspicious occasion, my life is yours and your life is mine. I’ll be more than a husband. I’ll be your biggest cheerleader, your best friend, your lover, and your companion in everything. From today till forever, I’ll fall in love with you even through the worst times.
7. Today, I take you as my soulmate, my only reason to live, my North Star, my only hope in life. My life revolves around you, from the day I met you, till my last breath. I promise to bring you all the happiness, and if not, I’ll give you mine.
8. Dear _Partner’s_name_, you’re the perfect woman in this whole wide world. I may disappoint you in the future, but know I’ll never hurt you consciously. I am here, sharing the same altar as you because the heavens blessed me. In the name of God and Heaven, I’ll always love you.
9. _Partner’s_name_, I promise to love you more fiercely than a phoenix. If you’re ever angry, I’ll soothe you like cool river water. If you ever feel sad, I’ll be a field full of roses and marigolds. I’ll complement your every mood in happy and sad times. This is my eternal vow.
10. You taught me how to love, cherish, respect, and support myself. You entered my life like a breath of fresh air with hope and positivity. Today, I promise to remember all the lessons and apply them to my teacher. So, my beloved teacher, my wife-to-be, please bear with me forever.
All my beautiful brides, your heart’s fluttering, isn’t it? I’m so glad that you finally found your happiness. Want to impress your groom with your feelings? Let’s make that big boy shed some tears with a mesmerizing confession…
1. I love you from the bottom of my heart, since the day I said yes, till the day I close my eyes forever. My words can’t express enough of my feelings. So, I promise to prove it from today until forever, with kisses, hugs, never-ending care, and support.
2. On this day, I pledge to make you happy today, tomorrow, until every day I breathe and walk on this land. I will be your honest, loyal, loving, and respectful partner in crime forever and ever.
3. I promise to honor, love, and cherish you in front of God and all loved ones present. From today, you’re my only loving husband, my only soul mate, the water to my ocean, until death does us part.
4. Dear _partner’s_name_, all of my dreams came true the moment you stepped into my world. I may not have been the best partner to you, but I’ll never stop loving you. I will always cheer you with all I have. This is my solemn vow!
5. _Partner’s_name_, from today, if you’re sad, I’ll give you my smile, If you’re happy, I’ll multiply your happiness. I promise to stand beside you and make you happier every passing day of my life. In God’s name, I shall protect you and your happiness forever.
6. My husband-to-be, I swear to always stay beside you, work with you to build a happy future both in good times and in bad times. I will love, support, and dedicate my all to our successful and happy lives together.
7. Dear _Partner’s_name_, I am beyond just happy to call you mine. I know married life isn’t all flowery and sweet. We may face many hardships, fight, or say spiteful words, but I, your wife, shall never live a day without loving you. This is my solemn pledge.
8. I may not be as understanding as others, as sharp in meme language, as well-acquainted in gaming. But I promise that nobody will ever love you as much as me. I may come off overconfident, but my husband-to-be, it’s because I have utmost faith to cherish you now and forever.
9. In the presence of our loved ones and God, I choose you as my husband today and forever. I promise to cherish you with all of my love because you deserve it. You make me proud and inspire me to live my life. Today, I promise to love you until I no longer remain.
10. Dear _Partner’s_name_, from today I’ll share my life, my soul, my body, and everything I own with you. Thank you for being so kind and bearing with me for so long. I trust that together we can beat any troubles in the future. So, hold my hand and never let go until I close my eyes forever.
If you want more examples, you can find a list of 200+ here.
About to start but still wondering how? Let’s make it easy with these…
Questions to ask to get started
Your wedding vows won’t be like any framed vow on the internet. It will depend on your real-life experiences. But your vows must match whether it’s about the beginning, ending, theme, emotions, and so much more.
If you want to match the vows without disclosing them, discuss these questions…
1. How many words will your vows be?
2. How open are you to sharing jokes and embarrassing stories?
3. How much do you want to keep it original? Complete or partly?
4. How much will you add religious and traditional hints?
5. Where did you guys meet? How long ago was it?
6. Who said “I love you” first? Where was it?
7. Do you have any common interests?
8. What were your first impressions of one another?
9. What do you love about one another most?
10. What are your most memorable moments?
Settled on the same page? Fabulous… Now it’s time to settle the contents. Let’s check it from here…
Things to include in the vows
Your vows will include lots of emotions based on your thoughts and emotions, your promises, and of course, your vows.
So, do you remember the best moments of your relationship? Too many to remember? Let’s figure it out here…
When you hear your fiance’s name, what comes to your mind? Do you think about how loving they are?
Or, do you think about how much you love them? I understand, it’s really hard to sort out all the feelings and come to a conclusion.
So, let’s first answer these questions for the theme and reference…
1. Did you have love at first sight? When did you start to have feelings?
2. When did you realize you wanted them in your life and why?
3. What do you appreciate about one another the most?
4. How will you make your bond stronger?
5. How did you two change for the better with time?
6. What did you learn from them?
7. How did you go through the worst times together?
8. What’s the meaning of marriage to you both?
9. What do you hope for in your future after marriage?
10. Do you have any common thoughts, goals, or aims?
11. When you’re apart, do you miss them? What part do you miss?
12. What do you find interesting and annoying about them?
13. When was your first date and where? How do you feel about it?
14. What was the most embarrassing incident in your relationship?
15. Which is the most romantic moment yet?
16. What’s their secret talent or quirk that only you know?
17. When you guys fought and made up the first time, what did you learn?
18. What’s their obsession?
19. Did you ever feel anything new around them? Something that you never experienced alone… what was it?
20. What’s their most attractive physical appearance, as per you?
If you found the answer and settled for particular thoughts, let’s move on to…
Now let’s work on the template of your vows. Settled how you’ll begin the thought? Well, vows are full of promises.
At least there are always three to five promises inside a wedding vow. But let’s first choose the opening here…
Start with: I promise to…
1. Love you
2. Respect you
3. Cherish you
4. Treat you
5. Give you
6. Tell you
8. Always support you
9. We will
10. Laugh with you
This was the beginning but you also need to wrap up your vows. Begin the wrap up with…
A vow is not the same as a promise. A promise is a reassurance but a vow is an oath. You take it from the bottom of your heart… like a knight taking an oath to a princess. But in weddings, both partners take it as their equals. So, let’s learn to begin them here…
1. I pledge to
2. I promise to
3. I vow to
4. If you’re happy, I’ll
5. If you’re sad, I’ll
6. Together, we both will
7. In the future, we’ll
8. I’ll always
9. I’ll never
10. You are the reason behind
11. For you, I’ll
12. With you, this world is
13. I will always share…
14. I’m happy in life for you…
15. I feel so proud of…
16. Your smile turns my world…
17. From you, I learned
18. I love…
19. I’m excited about
20. I hope we’ll
21. I understood my love for you when
22. When I first saw you…
23. My life will always…
24. My life is better with you…
25. I admire…
Still can’t write your vow? Perhaps you got writers’ block? Before you write your vows, let’s know…
What causes vow writers’ block?
If you get a vow writers’ block… you gotta solve it first, Else, you can’t proceed to the vow writing. However, you can’t solve it without knowing the root causes. So, first, match if you feel any of these here…
1. You underestimate your expressions
You may feel that you can’t express anything spectacularly.
You’ll be your partner’s knight in shining armor, but how will you express that? Or, you’ll treat them like a king, but how to say it in a roundabout way?
You may undervalue your expressions… because you never saw yourself from different views. You think others are much better than you at expressing.
2. You’re afraid of writing
Possibly, you never penned down your feelings and feel under confident. Some people even have a fear of writing. It’s due to a lack of confidence or shyness.
If you feel anxious and think about all the negative possibilities while writing… that’s your culprit for writer’s block.
3. You fear embarrassing yourself
Your feelings and beautiful memories are special to you… however, someone out there will always cringe. It might be someone with a bad relationship… or someone who has yet to fall in love.
You worry too much that your partner or others will think badly about your writing skills. Or, they may make fun of your deepest thoughts.
4. You don’t want gossips
Personalized wedding vows require little intimate stories. If you like to keep to yourself, you may have a hard time too.
Perhaps, you feel that people will gossip about how you almost broke up during hardships. Or, that people may judge you for demanding the last slice of pizza.
You don’t want others’ negative thoughts around your special memories.
5. You fear spilling a secret
Every relationship has some secrets… however, you make something a secret depending on your feelings.
For instance, on your first date, you were unprepared and found all the restaurants closed. People cherish their first dates, but your first date doesn’t bring joy to your heart.
However, your partner cherishes the first date. So, they might include that story. The vice versa is also possible and you fear hurting one another unknowingly.
Found your reason? Now, let’s move on to the good part here…
How will you get out of this vow writers’ block?
Vow writer’s block isn’t easy to solve. After all, marriage is always on your mind… so, you possibly can’t calm down. Your excitement is legit because you’ll unite with the love of your life.
But let’s control your emotions and think rationally. You gotta make it work for your partner’s happiness, so follow these…
1. Start slow
Till now, you found different parts of a vow. There’s a promise, a funny part, an emotional part, a romantic lingo, a forever promise, others’ blessings and support, and so on.
Don’t overwhelm yourself all at once. Take time to sort out one portion at a time. Make a list of the five most emotional moments, romantic promises, etc., and pick the best out of them.
It will take time, so whoa there!
2. Pump up the confidence
Remember, your vow will never sum up all the feelings. Your feelings for your wife/husband-to-be are much greater than any vow ever.
So, whatever you choose to say… whatever you feel expresses your feelings best… is the best vow ever. It might need a little tweaking, but that’s all of your feelings.
Your words will move your partner, so stop worrying about it.
3. Calm your nerves
Wanna make poetry for your vow but feel shy? Wanna try Elizabethan language but fear others’ judgment? The shortest solution is calming yourself.
How you express your feelings, is nobody’s business. Don’t focus on the guests. If you and your partner want this, then this is the best. You don’t need rules or other people’s validation.
4. Contact a wordsmith
Is there anyone around you who is good with words? If you can splurge, find a professional wordsmith. Ask for their thoughts on your writing. If you want, ask them to help out with the edit too.
Though it’s your wedding, you may take professional help to make it extra special.
5. Cherish the present
Focus on writing your vows, enjoy the thrill, have fun with the wedding preparations, and make everything count. All the ceremonies and preparations will only happen once. So, immerse in this joy right now.
Don’t stress yourself out with the vow writing. If you’ll worry, the vows may not come out as perfect.
So, prepare the perfect mood and fill your heart with happiness. Only then your pen will glide with love.
Freed yourself from writers’ block? Want to make the vows even more special? Let’s check the…
Ways to personalize your wedding vows
If you want to add a high dose of sweetness, romance, emotions, and everything good in your vows, stay up to do more.
Research more whether you interview others, check more sources, or brainstorm together. Come on, let’s get more ideas…
1. Take note from experts
Your parents, grandparents, hitched friends, siblings… everyone is an expert. Ask them about their feelings before they get married. Relate to every happy couple’s story around you.
They’ll naturally share their sweet memories to express it deeply. You’ll find lots of inspo from them. Discuss with your partner what they found most relatable.
2. Listen to songs
Do you both have a favorite song? A romantic one you both sync with? Or, one that defines your relationship well? Add your favorite line from that song to express your feelings.
3. Watch a movie
If you’re into romcoms, that’s great too. Again, if there’s a common favorite one, use a romantic quote you both like from it. You may also refer to TV shows or even animated movies… if that’s what you both like.
4. Check the library
If you guys are into romance books or poems… or if it’s just you, borrow a quote. If your partner hasn’t read the book or poetry yet, share it with them but don’t let them know it’s about the vows. If they don’t understand the reference, it won’t impact them well.
5. Show off your romantic side
If you’re a hopeless romantic to the bone, don’t worry about so many things. Talk about how much you love them and that it matters the most to you.
When you’re a romantic person, believe in yourself and make something more original. Because in reality, weddings are very personal to the ones getting married.
Feeling shy to show your cheesy side? Well, weddings are too special to care about, so let’s know more here…
How to start off your wedding vows?
You might feel shy about expressing your feelings in front of friends and family. However, on this special occasion, the one who’ll spend the rest of their life is waiting for you.
Your vows are special to them… they’re looking forward to it even more than you imagine. So, they deserve to know how much you love them. Begin with a confession and slight humor from your past.
_Your_partner’s_name_, I have known you since high school, but it feels like our bond is from past lives. We hated one another’s gut but look how fate turned the tables. It felt like something possessed us and our feelings changed… or did we get exorcized? I feel I’m nothing without you.
Every good thing comes in short amounts. So, there’s an end to your dreamy vows too. So, let’s know…
How to end wedding vows?
If you can’t end the vows perfectly, go for the classic promise style. Sincerely promise to love them forever and after. For instance…
Today I, _your_name_, promise my eternal love to you, _Your_partner’s_name_. I will stay beside you with all my loyalty till all of my teeth fall, till my last breath in the beautiful world you light. This is my solemn vow.
Wondering who’ll lead the way? Let’s know more from here…
Who says their wedding vows first – man or woman?
As per most traditions, men say their vows first and women follow behind. However, some couples say the vows in unison, or even the women say first at times.
If you want to let your woman say it first, speak with the officiant to arrange that.
Even if you’re a homosexual couple, before the wedding, decide who wants to say the vows first. Avoid any awkward situation out of assumptions.
Remember, your feelings are more important than saying the vows first. So, if your partner wants to lead, let them. If you both want to say it together, go ahead.
I know you wanna talk a lot about your feelings. But there’s a limit to vows. So, let’s know it here…
How long are wedding vows?
I understand your feelings for your partner. You want to speak for hours about one another. But don’t drag each of your wedding vows for more than 2-3 minutes.
There will be many other rituals like the blessings, ring ceremony, Lord’s Prayer, and so on. So, it might take over thirty minutes to complete the entire ceremony.
Keep it short to coordinate with the service pace. If you want to talk more, do it during the speeches.
But, let’s not forget… always talk to your officiant before you begin writing. Unfortunately, sometimes you’re not allowed to write vows yourself. So, let’s be more aware here…
Are you always allowed to say your own vows?
Whether they’ll allow… it depends on the type of your wedding. If you have a traditional or religious one, you’ll possibly have to abide by the rules.
However, many officiants gladly offer you to add your own vows after taking the traditional, religious, or legal ones.
In civil weddings, you get more freedom so personalized vows are allowed. However, let your officiant know beforehand about writing your vows. Know about the rules of timing and wordings to avoid disappointments.
In the UK, on the other hand, you’re to say declarations for legal marriages. There are three types…
I do solemnly declare that I know not of any lawful impediment why I _your_name_ may not be joined in matrimony to _partner’s_name_.
I declare that I know of no legal reason why I _your_name_ may not be joined in marriage to _partner’s_name_.
3. Alternative (Call and response style)
Officiant: Are you _your_name_ free, lawfully, to marry _partner’s_name_?
You: I am.
Worried if your vows will be fine? Let’s take more advice from here…
Should we hear each other in advance?
This completely depends on you if you want to disclose it. I suggest hiding the vows to build anticipation and catch their first-hand response in the altar and on camera.
Some love this anticipation… however, if you feel worried, then you better share it. Your goal is to enjoy your big day to the fullest.
If you plan to hear it out, try writing joint vows. This is a wonderful way to say your vows alternately. If you feel nervous speaking in front of a crowd, the joint style gives your confidence.
But hey, do you guys have children? Then we gotta talk some more. Let’s head in here…
Do I include my children in my wedding vows?
You may have children before your marriage or children from different marriages.
You want to include them in our big day to make them feel appreciated, loved, and cared for. This is a great idea and a chance to include them in your journey.
Either refer to the children within the same vow or make a separate vow for them. For instance…
Dear, _children’s_names_, I will love, cherish, and provide for you forever. This is my solemn vow.
A word from ThePleasantRelationship
Though there will be many friends and family on your wedding day, remember that it’s your day. If you both want to truly write your own wedding vows and you got the permission, that’s great!
When you make the vows, remember that your thoughts and feelings make the best vows. What you write may not be appealing to your friend, yet still make sense to your bride/groom.
You and your partner have a meaningful and shared history. So, even the occasion of sharing one ice cream when you were broke… means a ton to your partner.
So, believe in yourself, grab that pen, think about your one-and-only and start making wonders!
Surabhi wakes up every day with a drive to craft words that can create a soulful impact. Creatively adventurous, she is always seeking to learn new skills and acquire new experiences. With a hidden soft corner for languages (especially Urdu), she writes poetry occasionally, binges on romantic shows, and LOVES to talk. A hustler, admirer, chaser, Surabhi is just another-someone who refused to give up on her dreams. She says, she is just somebody who’s trying to make herself a writer and for now, she’s just writing...