Are you trying to figure out how to text your ex after no contact?
Well, this first text can feel extremely awkward – after all, you’ve not talked to them for SO long!
Moreover, a lot is going on in your mind. So, you must ensure that you don’t say anything out of the line.
So, let’s avoid all the pitfalls of the first text in a while with this guide!
How To Text Your Ex After No Contact? – 15 Ways
When the no-contact (NC) rule is finally over, most exes dive right into texting without giving things a second thought.
However, this is a sensitive action, and if you seem desperate or insensitive, it can become tough to reconnect altogether.
So, here are a few things to follow to make this step work out for you!
1. Reflect on your intention
When you reflect on your intentions, you can be more aware of your emotions. It helps you gain clarity about why you want to contact your ex.
Consider your ultimate goal from reaching out.
Do you want to rekindle the relationship, seek closure, or just check in as friends?
Are you feeling lonely, sad, angry, or regretful?
Pay attention to your emotions and acknowledge them to understand your motives better.
2. Keep things respectful
Show respect for your ex’s boundaries and feelings. Acknowledge that you both have moved on from the romantic aspect of your relationship.
Be mindful of your language. Use neutral language and avoid any terms of endearment or pet names.
Keep your conversation focused on the specific reason for reaching out. If it’s about shared responsibilities, finances, or logistical matters, avoid discussing personal emotions or past relationship dynamics.
3. Control your feelings
When emotions are running high, you may text impulsive or emotionally charged messages that may be regretted later. Craft your message carefully. Ensure it is clear, concise, and respectful.
If you’re feeling angry, upset, or frustrated, avoid sending messages in the heat of the moment. Give yourself time to cool off and regain emotional control.
4. Avoid texting desperately
A desperate tone can make you appear weak and lacking in self-respect. It’s important to maintain your dignity, even in challenging situations. Desperation can push your ex further away. It may come across as insincere.
Avoid lengthy, rambling messages that may come across as desperate. Refrain from begging or pleading for another chance.
Instead, focus on the positive aspects and express a willingness to move forward positively if that’s your intention.
Don’t overuse emojis or exclamation marks, as they make your messages seem overly emotional. Stick to a more neutral tone.
5. Make them curious with your text
Curiosity is a powerful motivator. By making someone curious, you can capture their attention and make them more receptive to your message.
This will make them more likely to respond. It can lead to a more meaningful exchange.
So, try out open-ended questions that require more than a simple yes or no answer. For example, instead of asking,
“Did you have a good weekend?”
Ask, “Did anything exciting happen over the weekend?”
Choose words that evoke interest and excitement. Avoid overly common or mundane expressions.
Mention something the other person might not know and then express your willingness to share or explain.
6. Allow them time to respond
Initially, send a single message and then wait for a response. Determine a reasonable time frame for waiting.
This can be a few days to a week, depending on the nature of your message and your ex’s communication habits.
Resist your urge to send multiple messages if you don’t receive a response within your set time frame. Otherwise, it’ll push him away.
While waiting, don’t overanalyze or obsess over their response. Remember that everyone has their own timing for communication.
Lastly, don’t forget the no-contact period was long. So, they also need to gather their wits to respond appropriately. Your ex doesn’t want to seem emotional, either!
7. Ask for updates when you weren’t in contact
This kind of text shows your genuine interest in their well-being and experiences. It can strengthen your bond.
Let them know you were still interested in their life when you were not in contact. This will make them realize how much you think of them. Convey your desire to catch up and hear about what’s been happening in their life.
8. Congratulate them for their achievements
Begin your message with a friendly and casual greeting to break the ice. Mention their achievement specifically to show that you’re aware and genuinely impressed.
Use positive and sincere language to show your happiness and enthusiasm for them.
Offer an appropriate compliment related to their achievement. This adds a personal touch to your message. End your message with an open invitation for them to respond.
9. Provide support if they’re in a bad phase of their life
Regardless of your relationship status and past, if your ex is going through a rough patch, offer them support.
Empathy and kindness can help maintain a positive connection and foster goodwill between you and your ex.
This can be valuable if you have mutual friends, shared responsibilities, or history together. Sometimes, just knowing someone cares can be comforting.
Begin by reaching out in a gentle and non-intrusive manner. Send a message expressing your concern and well wishes. Tell them you’re there to listen if they want to talk.
Avoid passing judgment or unsolicited advice. Respect their boundaries and comfort level.
10. Share humorous stuffs
Humor can help break the ice and lighten the mood. It makes the reconnection more comfortable and less tense.
If you aim to be friends or have an amicable relationship, humor is a must-have!
Ensure your humor is light, inoffensive, and unlikely to be misunderstood. Avoid jokes that touch on sensitive topics or past relationship issues.
Share a funny meme, GIF, or internet joke you think your ex would appreciate. This type of content is quick, easy to consume, and often amusing.
If you have inside jokes or shared humorous moments from your past, reference them to create a sense of nostalgia and connection.
While humor can be a great icebreaker, don’t overuse it. If every message is a joke, it may appear insincere or like you’re avoiding deeper conversation.
11. Ask if they want to continue
Ask if they are open to continuing communication. Encourage them to express their feelings and preferences on this matter. You can’t assume that they’re okay to have you back in their life!
If they’re fine, discuss your expectations regarding the nature of the communication. Discuss the frequency of messages, topics to be discussed, and any boundaries that need to be set.
Be prepared for various responses, including a positive agreement to continue texting, a request for more time, or a decline to continue communication. Respect their response, whatever it may be.
12. Understand if you guys can be just friends
Ask your ex if they’d like to be friends. Make sure you don’t beat around the bush and be clear about it.
Remember, after a period of no contact, exes need time to adjust to the new dynamics of the connection. The definition of “friendship” between exes isn’t usually the same as regular friendships. It can also evolve and change over time.
If your ex agrees to be friends and has some conditions, respect their decision. If they refuse it, accept it with grace.
13. Don’t make the apology a strategy
You can also begin with an apology in the first text. It will make your ex more open to staying connected.
However, don’t expect to make things right instantly with an apology. So, don’t expect your ex to forgive and reconcile.
Don’t text things like, “Give me another chance,” with the apology.
Otherwise, it can come across as insincere and manipulative and make them question your motive.
14. Do not text when drunk
Alcohol can lead to impulsive behavior. And drunk texting your ex can result in messages you may regret later. Or you may not be able to accurately represent your true feelings.
If you know you’re prone to impulsive behavior when drinking, limit your alcohol consumption. Or avoid drinking altogether when feeling emotional or vulnerable.
If you have such urges, ask people around you to take away your phone from you ahead of time.
Instead, tell them to let you write the message on paper. Revisit it when you’re sober to determine if it’s still something you want to send.
15. End it politely
A polite ending keeps the lines of communication open for potential future conversations without burning bridges. Use a polite farewell or closing statement.
Don’t abruptly end the conversation without warning, as that comes across as rude. Wait until they respond or acknowledge your closing statement.
A word from ThePleasantRelationship
Remember, texting your ex after no contact is a sensitive process. Despite who initiated the breakup and each of your circumstances, you need to be thoughtful and considerate. So, be patient and respectful, and communicate openly.
The path to reconnection may not always be straightforward. But with the right intentions, it’s possible to rekindle a positive connection.
Whether you resume a romantic relationship, nurture a friendship, or find common ground, the key is approaching the situation with grace and maturity.
Are you interested to know more about ‘Signs Your Girlfriend Likes Another Guy’ then click here?
Surabhi wakes up every day with a drive to craft words that can create a soulful impact. Creatively adventurous, she is always seeking to learn new skills and acquire new experiences. With a hidden soft corner for languages (especially Urdu), she writes poetry occasionally, binges on romantic shows, and LOVES to talk. A hustler, admirer, chaser, Surabhi is just another-someone who refused to give up on her dreams. She says, she is just somebody who’s trying to make herself a writer and for now, she’s just writing...