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How to Get a Guy’s Attention? In-Person or on Texts

How to Get a Guy’s Attention? In-Person or on Texts

Updated on Aug 03, 2023

Reviewed by Katina Tarver, MA (Mental Health and Wellness Counseling) , Life & Relationship Coach

How to Get a Guy’s Attention In-Person or on Texts

The answer to how to get a guy’s attention is more than fancy dresses and pretty makeup… and no, it’s not about some skin show either.

It takes more than that.

Further, gone are the days when matters of the heart were left to destiny. In today’s world, you need to make an effort for anything and everything.

Once you are through this think-piece, you’ll know how to treat men in a manner they find irresistible.

And come on, this is no uphill struggle! It’s just a list of some do’s and don’ts that you need to remember when you’re around the guy who made you skip a heartbeat!

Ready girls? Let’s start!

How to Get a Guy’s Attention?

Let’s start with the most important rule. The rule of being real. Remember, whatever you do should be absolutely original.

The rules have no intention to make you pretend in a certain way just to impress someone. You’re beautiful, as you are. These tips will just groom your personality naturally, attracting guys towards you.

Not to forget, anything that makes you feel uncomfortable can be totally skipped. And with that, let’s start the drill!

1. Smile with your eyes

Your smile can never be perfect without the eyes expressing the same pleasure that you feel in your heart.

You don’t necessarily need a beautiful teeth structure, or a painted pucker to make your smile look perfect. All you need is the curve on the lips and the sparkle in your eyes. 

When you smile with your eyes, it makes you look far more appealing than otherwise. It tells him how happy you’re in his presence. And that’s sufficient to trap a man’s attention.

2. Maintain your calm and composure

Don’t start chattering immediately after you spot “your” guy. Being a chatterbox makes you appear nervous and desperate.

Maintain a calm and composed body posture. In a world full of chaos, be the peace he yearns for. Talk with poise, speak softly, and keep yourself in order.

3. Giggle at his jokes

Hmmm… being calm and composed definitely weighs on your personality. But you would love to know that guys often fall for cute girls who giggle at their jokes.

So spare a laugh every time he says something funny. It might not mean a lot to you, but it makes him feel like a hero, who has found the key to your happiness. He feels proud and loved.

Besides, this will fade away all the hesitation and distance between both of you, bringing you close to each other.

4. Don’t fear rejection

The worst thing you can do when you are around him is fret about: “what’s on his mind?” He hasn’t even proposed to you. Remember, if you’ve nothing to gain, you’ve nothing to lose either.

This is called overthinking, and it would be a sure waste of time. Don’t forget that you are with him because you enjoy his company. If his presence makes you fear judgment or rejection, it’s no use impressing him.

This thought would ruin your mind and make you behave weirdly.  When you are with him, be in the moment, relax and enjoy the butterflies in your stomach. Go with the flow girl, nothing to worry about!

5. Show some coyness

Let’s begin with the difference between being shy and being coy. Don’t be the shy girl who is uneasy around her guy. You just have to be more alluring by being coy.

Getting it, right?

Bat your eyelids at his compliments. Cover your face with your palms for a second while laughing. Look down and play with your hair. Turn your face away whenever he embarrasses you. Have some signature coy expressions… and he’ll know you’re head over heels for him!

6. Lure him with your grace

He would fall for a graceful girl just like you would fall for a chivalrous man!

Most men love graceful girls… the ones who play with their curls, wear flared outfits, have kind hearts, and talk softly.

Tip: Gracefulness is in attitude, not in looks.

7. Touch him gently

Remember you’re not supposed to grab him by his arms whenever you get a chance! That would disinterest him more than impress him. He might feel uncomfortable too.

What guys love instead, is unintentional, gentle touches. They love when girls touch them softly while talking.

Touch his shoulders to let him know that you’ve arrived. Surprise him by closing his eyes with your palms from behind. You may even pretend to hit him lightly on his forearm, back, or cheeks whenever he cracks nasty jokes.

Make sure you’re touching him at appropriate spots… and casually. Do this only when you’re confident enough that you can carry it out well.

8. Glorify his manhood

He is going to love every compliment that you make about his manhood.

I mean, come on! Which guy won’t like that?

However, the compliment has to be real for the guy to notice you. Talk about his manly appeal, macho style, smartness, and so on. Keep your tone and voice very authentic while doing this.

This will make him feel confident and also uplift his self-esteem.

9. Give heartfelt compliments

Compliment the guy you like, but subtly and only when you genuinely feel there’s something worth applauding.

Also, let him know how much you like him, his dressing style, and his looks. But don’t make him awkward by talking about his looks, always.

Instead, talk about his achievements, hard work or the tiny-little things he does in his daily life.

10. Be a damsel in distress

Even if you’re an independent person, make him feel that you want him.

Don’t be entirely dependent on him, but ask for small favors. For example, you may ask him to walk you home because it’s dark. Or, to lift a heavy item that you can’t.

Make him feel that you remember him in your hard times and that you like when he is with you. He’ll feel good and connected. Let him feel that he can solve your problems, guys enjoy it.

Yes… the “hero instinct” is real.

11. Foster his protective streak

Right from the beginning of civilization, men have been the providers, while women have been the nurturer.

Even if things have changed and both men and women are earning for themselves, men still enjoy being protectors.  

Just let him know that you feel safe around him. Hold his hand while you cross a road, or ask him to join you when you’re alone and feel unsafe.

12. Be a mystery

This doesn’t mean that you need to be secretive, it just means that you musn’t give your all in the first meeting itself. Always keep something for later, it will keep him hooked.

He’ll keep coming back to you and try to spend more time with you.

So, the next time he catches you smiling at your own self or at a WhatsApp message, and asks you about it, just say “nothing” and ignore it.

13. Be polite and soft-spoken

Politeness or civility always works – be it in relationships or elsewhere. Remember, a sweet voice is not enough, politeness is also visible in your attitude.

For example, if both of you go on a date at a restaurant, say thanks to the waiter with a whole-hearted smile. Also, acknowledge the guy who pulls the chair for you or gets you food.

But remember, don’t fake things, or else you’ll be revealed soon.

14. Retain a good sense of humor

A good sense of humor never, I repeat, NEVER fails to catch attention.

Most often, girls are known to cringe and crib. In that case, if the guy finds a girl who can make him laugh, there’s nothing like it.  

You don’t have to crack malicious X-jokes, though. Keep it classy and sassy, girly! 😉

15. Be generous

God didn’t send a contract that says only guys can be saviors!

Be a strong girl who cannot just help herself but also offer it to others. Your kindness will leave a good impression on him.

Besides, he will know that he can rely on you. Also, never stop him from helping someone, even if it’s another beautiful girl.

16. Be confident

While being overconfident can scare him away, confidence can be the key to his heart.

Even if a guy falls for a timid nervous girl, he would eventually lose interest in her. Just like you would want to date a self-dependent and confident guy, they too, admire girls who can stand upright with confidence.

Believe in yourself. You should radiate confidence through your body language, talking style, accent, and fashion.

Whoever you are, whatever you are, wherever you come from, you should be confident about it.

17. Reveal some personal stuff

When you like someone and start spending time with them, it’s normal to share things about your personal life.

It’s not necessary to share your deep-dark secrets, but atleast share some personal experiences that would interest him.

Show trust and speak about your future plans, your career, or a difficult phase of your life. It will strengthen your bond.

18. Don’t lie to him

Honesty has always been the best policy. So be honest not only with your love interest but everyone else.

Don’t make a fool of yourself by weaving fake stories just for attention-grabbing. Sooner or later, the truth will leave him disheartened. Plus, that would ruin your self-respect.

Show your real side and see if he stays. If he is not a liar himself, he will value your honesty the most.

19. Support his aspirations

If you can do this, you’ll make yourself the most likable lady for any guy!

We all need someone to support our dreams and make us believe that have the potential to achieve them all.

Men love to talk about their goals, achievements, and hard work. So, go ahead and talk about it.

Take interest in their new projects, and ask how much they’re looking forward to it or how are they preparing for it. The best way to steal his heart is to also provide some insight to them on how they can concentrate more.

20. Never brag!

Humility can be a direct admit card to a man’s heart. So, stop with the bragging, girl!

Being proud of yourself is one thing. But boasting too much about your lifestyle, family, looks, etc. will make you appear pompous and shallow.

If at all you want to share a good fact about yourself, keep it in front of him very casually and politely.

21. Play the eye game

The arrows of the eyes are as magical as that of Cupid. Don’t lose the opportunity to spike his heart and leave him smitten with your glance!

If both of you are alone, catch his eyes whenever you talk about something important or meaningful. For example, when you compliment him, when you reveal your personal life, etc.

Giving him a couple of sensual glances will do no harm when you’re sitting among a group of friends.

Let him catch you staring at him romantically, it will draw him crazy! 😉

22. Make eye contact

If you want to keep the conversation going, don’t lose eye contact. Eye contact is the key to keeping your guy hooked. He’ll love to dive into the affection pouring through your eyes.

You cannot force eye contact by staring at him nonstop. That’s not natural. It will make him awkward.

Instead, whenever his eyes meet yours, hold his gaze for a few seconds before you look elsewhere. Pair a tempting smile with it – it will act like a cheery on top. 😉

And then, look in different directions swiftly, with a coy expression. This is enough to deliver the message!

23. Share your interests

You must have noticed that whenever someone talks about their interest, there is an instant spark of positivity and energy in their attitude.

So, when you talk about your hobbies, likings, and favorites, you will glow from within. This will attract him to you.

He’ll love to see the light in your eyes. If you’re lucky, maybe a few of your interests will turn out to be common with each other, and you can plan a day together on it. 

24. Hear him talk about himself

While it’s important to talk about yourself, it’s far more important to hear him talking about himself.

Pay attention to his words. It shows that you are really interested in him.

This also gives you the necessary information about him. Now don’t end up being an interviewer. Ask genuine questions to which he can relate and he’s comfortable answering. It can be something about his lifestyle, career plan, family, hobbies, and so on.

You can ask him to elaborate on a few points. Not only will it give you more time to spend with each other, but it will also tell him that you are interested in him. 

25. Avoid talking about exes

This is not the right time to talk about what went wrong in your past relationship.

You may talk about your past experiences when both of you decide to make it official. But before that, it’s simply not required.

These fruitless conversations will never help you gain anything except sympathy. After all, both of you are each other’s love interests and not therapists.

26. Don’t force a conversation

If you feel that he is not replying to your efforts nicely, don’t take it to your heart. Sometimes people want to enjoy a silent conversation. They just want to sit with you, basking in the calm. If that’s the case, congratulations, you’ve set the right aura!

Otherwise, try to warm up for an engaging conversation. But if he doesn’t respond, it’s no use forcing him.

Maybe he had a bad day, or he is disinterested in you. Forcing him will make him angry and frustrated.

27. Try finding common interests to hang out

Now that both of you know a lot about each other, you know where your common interests lie.

It would be a great idea to spend time together indulging in your favorite games and hobbies.

This conveys that a love relationship is not all about romance. It also includes having some fun with your partner, and also learning new things. This will add more matter to your relationship.

28. Appreciate him and his effort

This is a thing with all humans alike – we never appreciate what others do for us. Believe it or not, people who appreciate you will capture your attention more easily than those who don’t.

Everybody wants to be respected for something. If you can provide the guy with genuine appreciation on time, nothing like that!

On the other hand, if you take his gestures for granted, he will eventually stop paying attention to you.

So the next time he buys you a scoop of ice cream, tell him how grateful you are with a warm smile.

29. Let him chase you

Look girl, keep one thing in mind no matter what, people don’t value things that are easy to get.

Guys love the chase. Even if you are starstruck by his attitude and personality, don’t let it show up in your expressions.

Let him try a little hard to impress you, and I promise he wouldn’t mind chasing you at all.

However, don’t overdo it. If he has been chasing you for a month or two, it should be sufficient.

Not returning the same feeling at all might make him lose interest in you.

30. Revisit the happy memories

Revisit all the pleasant conversations, the romantic memories, and the funny giggles you had during the day before bidding him goodbye.

Always leave after a handshake or a hug. Tell him you don’t want to leave his company but… you have to.

You can also give him a playful sad smile, and ask him to ring you whenever he gets time. The words will excite him like anything.

31. Don’t be available all-the-time

Spending quality time is non-negotiable, but if you’re available round the clock to him, chances are that he’ll take you for granted. He might even get bored with your company.

As they say: excess of anything is bad.

You may deny a couple of invitations very politely. Instead of spending the entire day together, you may end a couple of meetings in a few hours.

Most importantly, don’t get addicted to calling him. Even if you call him more often, keep the calls short and have quality conversations.

All this will leave him craving more. That’s what we want, right?

32. Don’t pursue him aggressively

This is the last thing to do for any guy in the world. Remember, I asked you to remain calm and composed in the beginning? This is one reason why.

You must not lose your sanity just because you want to attract a guy.

Don’t force things or will be overbearing for him. Have patience and act smartly. Most importantly, keep self-control. Know, when to stop.

If he likes you, he will ask you out himself. But if he doesn’t, and you still pursue him inconsistently, it will make you appear desperate and he will run the first chance he gets.

33. Express your emotions

Instead of blaming yourself for being an emotional person, make use of your emotions to attract him.

If you can feel people’s pain and empathize with them, everyone will be naturally attracted by you. I mean, there are only handful of people who can do that.

Instead of hiding your tears in a movie hall to save your makeup, let the tears roll down your cheek to melt his heart.

34. Dress as per comfort and occasion

Dressing right is not about wearing a luxury brand, or the style that has taken the world by storm. It’s about carrying the outfit well and at the suited places.

If you’re confident in a jeans, it’s a much wiser choice than being constantly worried about your pencil skirt.

Similarly, you cannot wear formal to dine with him in a restaurant. You know what I mean, right? Comfort, fashion, and occasion – all of them are equally important.

So the next time you go shopping, pick only what makes you feel comfortable, and sport them gracefully, on suitable occasions.

35. Keep your hair lose

Girls often keep their hair secured in knots or ponies to prevent hair fall. But honey, a universal truth remains: guys love to watch your hair floating in the air.

Go for open hairstyles, and I’m sure you’ll find many. Keep your hairstyle absolutely effortless… but remember there’s a thin line between effortless and messy. You don’t want to be on the later end.

36. Steal the show with your lip shade

Not to lie, the color of your lips can make or break your look. If you do your lips right, it will definitely steal his attention.

While bold and painted red puckers can look very sexy and appealing, it’s not possible to wear the same red lipstick all the time, to all places.

Instead, choose a very natural warm shade, closer to your skin tone. Go for natural pinks, corals, nudes, and occasionally the sexy red!

37. Stay fit

Staying fit has everything to do with your weight balance, internal well-being, your skin, and hair.

When you put in extra effort to keep yourself organized and healthy, it shows up in your looks. Similarly, if you’re careless about your health, people can easily trace it.

Drink plenty of water, have good hair care and skin care routine, exercise regularly, and eat healthy.

He will find those naturally pink-blushing cheeks really inviting!

38. Wear an alluring fragrance

This can be a wild turn-on if done right and the worst turn-off factor, if gone wrong.

Talking about how to get the attention of a guy, I cannot emphasize enough the importance of quality perfumes.

Ditch those cheap bottles of low-quality fragrances. Grab something unique, irresistible, and durable!

Even science proves that good smells attract people of opposite sexes towards each other.

Invest in a signature scent to inscribe your fragrance in his mind. Because the closer he stays, the better. You know, right?

39. Flirt it up, girl!

You cannot build the sensual tension between both of you without flirting. What matters here is to flirt in a way that doesn’t look intentional.

A few things to keep in mind would be:

Flirt with a class. Be playful. Deliver subtle non-verbal cues. If he reciprocates the same feeling, your stage is set, girl! 😉

40. Communicate on social media

Social media is a great way to break the ice between both of you, especially if you become nervous when you meet him in person.

The texts are a great way to save you from hesitant discussions on phone calls. Plus, funny memes can prove to be great conversation starters.

But speaking about social media, there are a few tips that you should swear by if you want to get a guy’s attention over texts. Read on!

How to Get a Guy’s Attention on Texts?

No big deal if you cannot talk to him face to face, or on a phone call! You can always text a guy to know him.

But texting has its own rules and ethos.

If you have the hots for him, sending a text the right way can easily draw his eyes towards you.

However, be careful because texts can be easily misinterpreted, and so, you must follow these rules of texting!

1. Send him personalized wishes

This can help break the ice for you.

So, next time you wish him a merry Christmas or New Years’ or even a Birthday, give your wish a personal touch like…

“Wishing you a merry Christmas (his name), and don’t forget my cake!”

“Happy New Year (his name), how are the party plans going?”

“A Very happy birthday to you (his name), what gift should I get?”

2. Seek help!

Getting an immediate response from a guy is easier when you are “stuck”. Further, it can also trigger his hero instincts by asking for help.

Try something like:

“I have a problem with (something he can help for sure) Can you help?”

“I need some advice on (something related to his expertise). Can you help?”

“Have you visited (a place where he has been to). I gotta travel there alone. Can you guide me?”

3. Send him one text at a time

Don’t act like a creep by sending him 3 to 4 text messages back-to-back. Send only one text at a time. This will keep him hooked and the conversation interesting.

For example…

“Hi! Sorry that your favorite team lost (about a TV show or a match). What went wrong?”

“Hey! I saw you at (a restaurant). It’s my favorite, what did you have?”

“Hey, someone told me about (his achievement). How did you do it? Congratulations!”

4. Play hard to get

Always take time to reply to his messages. Don’t text him too frequently. Let him crave a bit before you get close!

For now, you can tell him…

“Hi! Sorry, Just saw your text. Been crazy busy (followed by the answer).”

“Ohh, there’s a problem. Gonna go hit the gym, RN. Shall I get back to you in a while?”

“I have office tomorrow, let’s continue after that.”

5. Throw interesting baits

A great way to make him reply back, and keep him engrossed in your chat is to say something like:

“Can you keep a secret? “

“Got to confess something. Are you ready?”

“I am really distressed; do you mind if I vent out a bit?”

6. Be fun

Nothing better than rolling him in your chat with some humor, like…

“My family is going to abandon me. Care to adopt?”

“I guess I might get fired tomorrow. Will you save me?”

“I have something funny to reveal. Wanna laugh at it?”

7. Show your likeness

It’s important to make him realize that you have a liking for him. Show interest in him but keep it very casual, just like…

“You looked smokin’ hot today. What’s wrong, trying to impress someone?”

“We talk less often, but I like talking to you.”

“Let me be honest, I like you a little more than I like chocolates.”

8. Send him interesting questions

Ask him if he is comfortable playing a fun quiz with you. And if the answer is positive, start the conversation on interesting topics.

For example…

“If there is one piece of advice you can give me, what would it be?”

“If there is one girl whom you cannot deny marrying, what qualities must she have?”

“If it’s a busy day and I ask you for a movie, what would go in your head?”

9. Keep him hooked!

Guys love challenges. The best way to keep him hooked on your text conversations is to challenge him like…

“Let’s see when you text me again…”

“So you will become dormant again, until I poke you!”

“Busy people don’t value friends”

10. Go the sexy roots

Stay on his mind with some sexy texts. But remember, this is applicable only for already-developed friendships or relationships.

You may start talking like…

“What’s your biggest fantasy?”

“Do you wanna play sexy truth or dare?”

“What’s the maddest thing you’ve said in sexting?”

A word from ThePleasantRelationship

So, these were some tricks to impress a guy… make sure to remember the details the next time you talk to a guy!

Remember, these are some general rules based on experiences, research, and theories.

Ultimately, it’s your own uniqueness and specialty that will turn his head towards you!