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How to Keep a Girl Interested in IRL or Over Text – 50 Ways

How to Keep a Girl Interested in IRL or Over Text – 50 Ways

Updated on Sep 15, 2023

Reviewed by Julianne Cantarella, MSW, LSW , Certified Relationship Coach

How to Keep a Girl Interested in IRL or Over Text – 50 Ways

Most guys out there struggle with how to keep a girl interested once the honeymoon phase wears off.

Let me tell you, buddy, that pursuing her is only half the battle; the real job is to keep her interested in you in the long haul.

But if you feel confused or lost, or if your girlfriend seems to be losing interest in the relationship, I have some quick ways to fix that!

So come on, explore the many different ways to keep wooing your lady!

How to keep a girl interested? – 40 Ways

The recipe that I’m about to share with you is made of many ingredients – physical touch, emotional connection, love, respect, and a lot of other things.

Now all you need to do is understand the areas that are lacking in your chemistry and work on them. If you measure all these ingredients together and blend them correctly, you’ll end up with a lifelong tasty dish!

1. Say yes to physical contact!

While society has led us to believe that men are the ones that crave physical touch more often, let me tell you that women want it just as badly!

Physical gestures such as stroking her hair, holding her hand, and giving her warm hugs, can be amazing ways to keep her interested in you.

It’s easy to take your partner for granted, especially if you’ve been together for a while. But let her know how much you still love her… not just verbally. I hope you got the idea!

2. Discuss your relationship

This can be a little awkward if you’re not used to declaring your feelings out loud but I promise you that this tip is so worth it. Discussing your relationship is important, especially if you have big plans for the future.

Girls love it when their partner indulges in healthy forms of communication. For this, you need to create a non-judgmental space where both of you can talk about your fears and ambitions without any inhibitions.

When a problem in your relationship seems to get pretty massive, discuss it calmly instead of fighting with each other.

3. Be her cheerleader

Yes, men can be cheerleaders too! Supporting your woman in her endeavors will not only make her fall in love with you but will also keep her hooked on you in the long run.

Whenever you find her suffering at work, be there for her. Just make her a cup of hot chocolate or hug her when she is back home. Or if she’s unsure of herself, tell her how much you believe in her.

Help her to focus on her strengths so that she sees herself as your equal. After all, what’s a better relationship than one where both partners hype each other up?

4. Ask questions… but meaningful ones!

When you’re discussing something important, don’t simply skim the surface by asking her baseless things.

For example, if her day at work was disappointing, don’t merely say, “Honey, you look so upset!”. Instead, try something like, “Honey, you look upset. Wanna talk to me about it?”.

Alternatively, don’t just stick to basic things like knowing her favorite color or food. Ask her about deeper topics like her childhood, her fears and insecurities, and her life goals. You’ll be surprised to find out how much she’ll share with you!

Even if she takes the time to open up, she’ll still be interested in you.

5. However, don’t keep nagging her

Imagine a woman who constantly bombards you with questions and makes your life ten times more difficult. Wouldn’t you want to get rid of her immediately?

While asking meaningful questions is important, don’t overdo it. If you see that she’s hesitating to answer something, give her that space and respect her wishes. You don’t want to seem like a psycho stalker who has to know everything about his girlfriend right within the first month.

As I said, women love to talk about their greatest dreams and ambitions but may take time to trust their man. And as a caring boyfriend, you must give her that time.

6. Set aside some time for just the two of you…

Falling in love is so fast and easy but staying in love isn’t really a piece of cake. So, if you want your lady love to feel special, set aside some time for her ALONE.

Spend that time with her without any interruptions from friends, family members, or coworkers. Set up a date night every week or think of cute gift ideas. No matter how long you both have been together, it’s necessary to spend some time alone and be with each other.

If you both live together, you can try going to bed an hour early so that you have enough time to cuddle and play some romantic music before falling asleep!

7. But also make time for her friends and family!

Your girlfriend is super important, yes, but what about her friends or family? In any long-term relationship, you have to be acquainted with her social circle.

Even if you wish to keep a girl you just met interested in you, it’s a good idea to let her know that you’re genuinely willing to know all about her and make a good impression of yourself.

This doesn’t mean you’ll walk right up to her house and introduce yourself to her parents after the first date, but with time, try to make time for her loved ones. For example, if she has a younger sibling, buy them a nice toy!

8. Be her mystery man

Right on the first date, don’t spill all the beans about yourself. Being a little mysterious will take you a long way, trust me!

Feel free to share tiny tidbits about your life but keep her craving for more. For example, if you’re the class topper in your university, don’t keep bragging about it to her.

Slide it in smoothly in a conversation, perhaps when she asks you about your studies. Or if you’re thinking of investing in a big project soon, don’t reveal all the details about it to her right in the beginning.

9. Give her romantic surprises

So, you’re an amazing cook but she doesn’t know about it yet. Then why not surprise her with a romantic candlelight dinner at your place? Surprising your girlfriend with cute things will definitely make you the man of her dreams!

Tiny-little surprises will not only make her feel good but will also be a way of telling her how much she means to you. This is an especially clever trick for guys who aren’t good at being vocal about their emotions.

You don’t always have to do anything very fancy; just keep a track of what she likes and do one thing at a time!

10. Don’t make your phone your girlfriend

Okay, this is one tip that any relationship expert will give you. In today’s world of smartphones and social media, it’s easy to get distracted. But what sets you apart from other men is your ability to keep your distractions at bay.

Whenever you’re out with her, make sure to pick up only the phone calls that are super important, such as work calls.

When she’s telling you about something serious (or even casual), don’t fiddle with your phone or check your Instagram notifications. Sure, clicking a few selfies together is cute but draw the line at that.

11. Work on developing yourself

If you’re a genuinely interesting person, she will be drawn closer to you. This is why you must work on yourself and keep improving as a person.

Spend time understanding your flaws and the areas where you can truly develop. One great way to start is to pick one of your hobbies and turn it into something more serious.

For example, if you love playing games and you study coding, you can try developing some codes to make your mini-game. Show her your work and watch her eyes glitter!

12. Respect her (and her gender)

No, I really, really mean this. Don’t proclaim yourself as someone who respects women but then make sexist jokes. It’s hard enough for a woman to now find a trustworthy man, but if you say one thing and do the complete opposite of that, she’ll lose interest in you in a second.

Remember, chivalry isn’t dead! Open the door for her or bring her a bouquet of flowers! But on a more serious note, listen to her opinions and make her feel valued. Basically, follow the golden rule of treating her the way you’d expect her to treat you.

13. Be kind to everyone

Well, this isn’t something directly related to the woman you’re pursuing but it’s a necessity nevertheless.

Being kind is an underrated quality that will show your girlfriend that you wish to make a positive change around you. And yes, never fake kindness because women can see right through it!

 If you treat people financially or socially weaker than you badly, she’ll know that someday, she might also have to face the same sort of disrespect from you. Be polite to strangers, such as waiters, mailmen, and sweepers. Kindness goes a long way and makes everyone appreciate you.

14. Don’t talk ill about your social circle

If you keep bashing your friends or coworkers in front of her, you’ll inevitably start talking ill about her when you meet others. Even if your girl talks about someone you hate, answer her diplomatically.

Tell her, “Yes, we’re not on friendly terms, but we all have our reasons for behaving in a certain way, right?”. This will give her the message that even if you dislike someone, you respect them enough to not be blunt about it.

The same tip goes for revealing your friends’ secrets – don’t keep spilling them here and there.

15. Ask her about her needs

When I speak of her needs, I mean both the physical and the emotional ones. After all, your girlfriend is a human who has her own set of beliefs and values, right?

If she’s the type of girl who takes a bit of time to say her thoughts out loud, try to understand what she’s trying to convey. This is especially important when it comes to sexual needs because women aren’t that bold all the time.

Fill her physical needs by showing her affection in bed. When it comes to emotional needs, support her and let her know you’re there for her.

16. Believe in the magic word – foreplay!

When it comes to sex, most men simply jump into bed, do their job, and start snoring. Let me tell you- women find that a huge turn-off. If you wish to know how to keep a girl interested after sleeping with her, you have to indulge in foreplay.

Kiss her tenderly and spend time exploring what she likes. Don’t rush, because that will ruin the entire fun! Even after having passionate sex, make sure you look at her and smile. Tell her how amazing that felt.

The afterglow that comes after sex is probably even more important than the sex itself, so be careful!

17. Put in efforts

It can be easy to stop putting in effort after a few months or years of dating. But if you do so, she’ll realize that you’re taking her for granted, even if you do it unconsciously. And no woman wants to be with a guy who treats her that way.

So, never, I repeat NEVER stop putting effort. For example, if you both are in college, ask her out to prom in a way she has always wanted. If she loves candies, spell out “Prom?” using a bunch of candies.

18. Spend some time apart (yes!)

You must have heard of the quote, “Distance makes the heart grow fonder”, isn’t it? Trust me, it’s true!

While being with each other lets you do so many fun things together, spending some time apart is also needed. And no, contrary to popular belief, staying physically away from each other doesn’t mean that your relationship is turning sour.

It’s important for both of you to prioritize your own needs when your chemistry seems to become boring. In this case, go on a trip with your buddies or let your girl have a fun sleepover at her friend’s place.

19. Don’t behave like a cranky old man

Look, both you and your girlfriend are pretty young and have your whole lives in front of you. There will be plenty of time to slouch on your couches all day and watch Netflix. But right now, why don’t you try doing something adventurous?

While your lady might not be looking for someone who can walk on fire or cycle through a storm, she definitely won’t like sticking with a guy who takes no risks.

Keep her life exciting and fun by trying out adventure sports. Even a trip to the local amusement park or Disneyland can make your day!

20. Take on challenges together

Taking on challenges together will certainly make your lives more happening but will also help you to understand one another better. And when this happens, you can be sure that your sweetheart will never let go of you!

If you’re unsure of what to do, start with baby steps. Take a couple’s membership to the local gym and start working out. Or study together and improve your grades by helping each other out.

Some other activities are keeping each other off unhealthy habits like drinking too much or eating junk food all the time. In a healthy relationship, there’s no “I’ or “You”, there’s only “Us”!

21. Explore sex with her

As I’ve already mentioned, doing new things together can be amazing and this rule applies even in the bedroom!

Don’t feel shy or embarrassed to explore the various aspects of sex with her. Buy a fun sex toy and try it out, or experiment with different positions. If you want to take it even further, you can even go for roleplay!

The idea behind this is to bond with each other so that your girlfriend becomes more interested in you and understands that you wish to please her. Even if you’re not comfortable with doing anything kinky, try out different forms of making out or cuddling.

Yes, it’s fun to have sex when both of you are in the mood to do something wild. But what about the times when she doesn’t feel like having sex? Well, the answer is simple- don’t force her!

Dating doesn’t come with a set of rules but this is a golden mantra you must follow. A woman will always respect and love a real man who understands consent. And trust me, this isn’t just limited to sex!

If you suggest doing something that might make her uncomfortable or awkward, simply drop the idea and give her time.

23. Don’t let routine ruin your relationship

Believe it or not, being in a relationship for a long time can get monotonous. But that doesn’t mean you’ll dump each other and go look for new partners, right? If you want to keep your girlfriend interested and revive the old spark, then don’t always stick to routines.

For example, on a lazy Sunday morning, go out for a picnic instead of staying in. Or book tickets at a theater show impulsively. Doing things out of routine or surprising her will make her value you a hundred times more!

24. Look good, feel good!

When you first started going out together, you must have paid a lot of attention to how you looked or dressed. But as time passed, you slowly lost interest in all of that because, hey, your woman loves you for who you are from within.

While that is completely true, it doesn’t hurt to keep yourself clean every day. Simple tasks like taking a bath regularly, wearing perfume, or getting haircuts can take you from zero to her hero… and her love for you from zero to a hundred.

25. Don’t be a “yes” man all the time

This might sound strange but if you keep saying yes to whatever your lady says, she’ll lose interest in you eventually. If you don’t wish to be burdened with the fear of losing her, suggest alternatives instead of simply saying “yes”.

For example, if she wants to watch a rom-com but you wish to watch a horror movie instead, tell her, “Babe, let’s not watch romcom today. Why don’t we watch horror flicks for a change?”.

However, you should also know when to agree to her wishes because saying no constantly is also a put-off!

26. Keep the flirting on!

Never say no to flirting, even if you have been dating each other for ages. Flirting is one sure-shot way to keep your girl interested in you.

Remember how you used to look at her with all the love in your eyes, or how you brushed your hands against her shoulders “accidentally”? Well, bringing back that flirtatious fun can be the medicine to repair a boring relationship.

Re-enact your first date by taking her to that same spot and proposing to her in the most romantic way possible. Then, pop open a bottle of wine and try out some pick-up lines on her!

27. Communicate honestly

Honesty and faithfulness- these two qualities are the two most important pillars of any good relationship. Nothing can impress your girl more than a man who is honest and knows the importance of it.

In a long-distance relationship, being faithful to your girlfriend becomes even more essential. Today, dating apps have made it easier to find partners but equally difficult to stay faithful.

So, if you wish to stand out among other men, you have to show her that she’s the only one in your life. Prove to her that you’d never stray away or cheat on her.

28. Don’t hold back with the compliments

Giving sincere compliments to your sweetheart is a huge deal-maker. If you think she looks beautiful, tell her that. Don’t hold it in and assume that she already knows how gorgeous she’s looking.

Remember, each compliment makes a difference. Something as simple as, “Your haircut looks so cool!” can make her entire day.

These tiny compliments will make her feel that you still see her as special as you did right on the first day that you met her. And honestly, it really isn’t that tough to pay attention to what she does.

29. Patience, baby!

Rushing through the relationship can be terrible and make your girlfriend feel like she’s on an express train. Giving her time to adjust to the relationship (especially if she’s suffered heartbreak from her previous relationship) is important.

As I always say, “Patience is the key”! Take things slow and make sure that your girl gets enough space to breathe. If you take her to meet your family after dating for just a few months, believe me, she’ll freak out.

Also, it’s important to give yourself the opportunity to settle down into the relationship as well.

30. Appreciate her

In relationships, we often take our partners for granted and expect them to do our work without complaining. These things should never be taken for granted.

For example, if your girlfriend still washes your dirty clothes or makes snacks for you when you come home from work, never think that this is her role. Make her feel special and appreciated for doing these small tasks.

If you stop with the appreciation, she’ll stop helping you out and might even leave you for someone else who truly understands her worth. Start with something simple like a heartfelt “thank you”.

31. Share the house chores

While we’re on the topic of helping each other out in a relationship, don’t forget to share the house chores with your girlfriend. If she’s washing the clothes, you do the dishes. If she cooks, you clean the house. This is how a relationship should work out.

Most men feel that women, especially ones who stay at home, are supposed to cook and clean and do the chores but they couldn’t be more wrong!

Sharing the housework will not only reduce her burden but will also show her that you’re not embarrassed to do basic things.

32. Keep her entertained

While it’s true that everybody needs their own time and space, it’s also important to keep your partner entertained.

This doesn’t mean you’ll spend every hour of the day with her but don’t forget to share a funny meme or joke at times. Be her personal stand-up comedian who makes her laugh!

If she’s had a bad day, crack a few jokes and entertain her. Or take her out for a couple of drinks somewhere. Gel in with her friends and family and show them your sense of humor. Believe me, your woman will never stop obsessing over you!

33. Tell her you’re thinking of her

This tip is super cool because it takes very little effort and money but can mean so much to a girl! Text her at intervals throughout the day. I’m not telling you to ignore your work and stay glued to the phone with her but don’t simply ignore her messages.

Whenever you see a cute or romantic post, share it with her. Call her up when you have a few minutes to spare and tell her how much you want to hug her at the end of the day. This will show her that you’re still putting in an effort.

34. Keep the criticisms positive

It’s natural that your partner will mess up at times and make mistakes. But how you react to these mistakes is what matters the most. Do you scream or snap at her? If yes, then never do that.

Instead of making her feel small, gently explain to her that she could have done things in a different way. Criticize her actions but always keep them positive.

Also, try to avoid the phrase “I told you so!” when she fails at something by not listening to you. If you keep telling her that your advice is always the right one, she’ll feel that you look at her as a child and not as an equal.

35. Be her hero!

Many women say that they don’t need men for anything but that isn’t entirely true. In fact, women do want their man to be a man!

They may or may not show it but they really do want you to take care of things that they’re struggling with. It can be little tasks like changing her flat tires, opening a jar of jam, or reaching up to fetch her the bottle of ketchup from the cupboard.

Of course, this rule even applies to more serious situations, such as standing up for her when someone insults her.

36. Don’t be hot and cold

So, you’re all over her for a few days and the very next day, you ghost her like you don’t even know she exists. Trust me, dude, she isn’t going to put up with this behavior for long.

If you want to keep a woman interested in the relationship, you can’t be hot and cold again and again. This will only prove to her that she’s wasting her time trying to please a man who is emotionally unavailable.

If you text her regularly, make sure to do so in the long run. Being selfish and not understanding her needs will get you nowhere with her.

37. Talk about your future together

When girls are in a relationship, they’re almost always thinking about the future. However, guys tend to live more in the present.

While trying to achieve a balance between these two is important, you should also consider talking to her about the future of your relationship. If you keep avoiding the “big talk”, she’ll understand that you perhaps don’t want a future with her altogether.

So, if you eventually wish to marry her or have kids, tell her that (but don’t scare her off too)! She needs to know that you’re taking this commitment seriously.

38. Introduce her to your social circle

Just like she has introduced you to her social circle, it’s now time for you to do the same. Women love it when their boyfriends introduce them as “his special someone” to others. This makes them feel loved and validated.

If you both have been out on many dates, it’s probably a good idea to post a few pictures together. And make it look like she isn’t just another female friend but someone far more precious.

Take her out to meet your school or college mates and then gradually warm her up to meet your parents and others in your family.

39. Be her man, not her dad!

“Who are you going out with?”, “When will you come back home?”, “Why are you wearing this dress?” are some questions that dads typically ask their daughters.

If you tend to ask your girlfriend the same sort of questions, it’s not difficult to see why she might be losing interest in you. After all, she already has a father; she doesn’t want her boyfriend to behave like one too!

Even if you’re being overprotective out of concern, it’s sometimes better to dial down on it. Otherwise, you might give off the vibe that you’re majorly insecure.

40. Show interest in her hobbies

Taking interest in your girlfriend’s hobbies is also a good way to make her appreciate you. You don’t have to go up and about and do everything she does, but don’t turn a blind eye to her hobbies too.

For example, if she loves to cook, you can enroll yourselves in a special cooking class. Or if she learns to dance, go to her dance class and show her your support.

Just as she tries hard to fit into your world, you must do the same for her. And who knows, you might develop a love for that hobby yourself!

How to keep a girl interested over text? – 10 Ways

Texting women can be really tricky at times, especially if you’re not a good texter. But don’t worry, I’m here to solve all your chat-related problems!

41. Don’t make small talk

When you start texting, don’t open with the same old boring sentences like, “The weather seems so nice!”. Texting her these things will definitely make her lose all interest in you. Each text that you send should be aimed at making her smile.

Say things like, “Hey, you looked so pretty in that dress today!”. Or you can even ask her about how her day went and then slide into topics like her job or career goals.

42. Keep each text short

While texting a girl you like, keep two or three sentences the maximum length of each text. Don’t keep sending long paragraphs that will bore her to death.

Also, try not to send a sentence in the form of multiple text boxes. Keep each line short and crisp but make your point crystal-clear.

Even if you’re arguing with her or telling her your point, don’t go into lengthy messages about how she hurt your feelings. Make her understand in simple sentences.

43. Don’t forward unnecessary messages

Imagine waking up and getting messages like, “Continue this chain of texts or you’ll have bad luck for a month” almost every day.

This is more than enough to make you hate the sender for the rest of your life, right? Forwarding unnecessary or spam messages can be really annoying and will surely make her block you after a few days.

If you do wish to forward something, send her a meme or something relatable.

44. Don’t substitute texting for phone calls

Yes, texting is fun but it is never a substitute for important phone calls or dates. Whenever you miss her or wish to talk to her, always go for a phone call first. If she isn’t able to pick up, text her only then.

If you keep canceling on date nights and text her instead, she’ll feel that you’re not interested in pursuing her at all. And of course, you don’t want that! Texting in between meetups is cool but that’s about it.

45. Don’t double (or triple) text her

Now, if you really wish to know how to keep a girl interested in chatting with you, this is a golden rule.

If she’s taking some time to reply to your messages, don’t bombard her inbox with dozens of messages of your own. This will only make her view you as someone desperate.

Double texting should be reserved for very, very rare occasions, but triple texting? Never! Let her reply when she’s ready.

46. Make the chat playful

Indulging in some playful or flirtatious banter is always a great idea. Don’t text pick-up lines that are cringy or creepy. Instead, be as playful as you can!

For example, start an inside joke with her by talking about something that you both had previously discussed. Many guys like to make up a fun nickname to tease the woman they like, and you can do it too.

Alternatively, you can also focus on what she’s doing at the moment and take the flirting from there.

47. Don’t rush while texting

If she’s taking an hour to reply to your texts, you should do the same.

As I’ve already said, don’t do anything that can give off the impression that you’re overly interested in her. But on the other hand, don’t just ghost her all of a sudden to make it seem like you don’t care about her replies.

For example, if she usually replies within a few minutes but lately has been replying late, don’t get offended and ask her if everything’s okay.

48. Reply to each of her texts

If a girl asks a guy three questions, he will usually only respond to the first one and completely ignore the remaining two. Well, you don’t want to do that!

Replying to each of her questions or texts will show her that you’re attentive, and genuinely interested in talking to her and that you don’t turn a blind eye to the finer details. This may not seem like much in the beginning but it’ll surely leave her impressed.

49. Send pictures in between

Once you both are comfortable with how things are progressing, you can upgrade a little and start sending pics. For example, if she asks you, “What are you doing?”, send her a picture of your laptop or Xbox instead of simply replying with a text.

Constant texting can get a little monotonous and eventually lead to the spark being lost. But make sure to keep the pictures decent and classy (you don’t want to send a selfie with your underwear behind you in the background)!

50. Be yourself!

When you’re trying to impress someone via text messages, it can be easy to pretend and be someone else. This is because you both are simply talking to each other through phone screens. But this is where being yourself becomes extremely important.

Don’t give off the impression that you’re a perfect person who has everything. Be honest and confident, and let things take their own course. Make the entire interaction fun!

A word from ThePleasantRelationship

In real life, maintaining a relationship is tough. The rose-colored glasses and fancy things that movies show us are not real. You need to make real effort to keep the love alive!

Men and women might have different views on how to keep their partners interested but all of them can agree on one thing- do everything possible to make your partner fall in love with you each day.

Remember, with enough love and patience, nothing will be impossible!

Are you interested to know more about ‘Signs A Shy Girl Likes You’ then click here?