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How Soon Is Too Soon to Move in Together? – 20 Signs that tell You It is Not the Right Time!

How Soon Is Too Soon to Move in Together? – 20 Signs that tell You It is Not the Right Time!

Updated on Sep 29, 2023

Reviewed by Katina Tarver, MA (Mental Health and Wellness Counseling) , Life & Relationship Coach

How Soon Is Too Soon to Move in Together – 20 Signs that tell You It is Not the Right Time!

The best way to know how soon is too soon to move in together is not just how much you’re in love with each other but also how many compromises are you willing to make for each other.

Another great way to ascertain this is by listening to the opinion of your family and friends. If they think you are ready to move in together, you can consider and evaluate the situation further.

But if you’re still not convinced. Then keep reading!

How Soon is Too Soon to Move In Together? – 20 Signs to Decide

Before you move in together, it is important to talk about financial responsibilities and how the same will be divided between you and your partner. If you notice that they are still not ready to have that discussion, then maybe it is too soon for you both to move in.

Further, if you’re unsure of their motive, then there is still much to discuss and discover about each other’s personality.

Other than that, the following signs (or tips) will bring clarity to your confusion. 

1. It has not been even a year since you both are dating!

The biggest sign that you are contemplating too soon to move in together is when it has not been a year since you have been together. You have spent much less time together and made this decision without a vision for the future. 

Spending more time apart lets you understand what you are getting into and whether you can sustain it in the long run.

2. You want a support

You think you are not ready to face life alone and want someone who can be there for you always. 

There are a lot of troubles in your life, and you do not have the stability and the emotional competence to handle the same.

If this sounds like you, then maybe it is not the right time!

3. You use each other to compensate for emotional void

Emotionally, both of you are extremely empty and have nothing to offer. It may be because of your past trauma or some situations that you have been dealing with.

But whatever may be the reason, this often creates emotional disbalance among partners that hampers the relationship in the longer run.

4. You face trouble in communication

You have extreme trouble communicating, and none of you know what the other one wants to say. Either you are not interested in talking to each other, or the way you do that is unacceptable. 

More than talking about the things that should be discussed, you create a bigger fuss than usual, creating distance between you two. There is a lack of active participation in conversations from both ends.

5. Your partner gets jealous

Whenever your partner sees you talking to someone else or having a good time, they get all jealous. This often indicates that you are not ready to move in with each other because this will create bigger fights when you start living together

This jealousy might also lead your partner to limit your social activity or fight when you confront that.

6. Your partner is irresponsible

When you move in together, you create a home with them and home can be built when either of you are irresponsible.

While you must divide the responsibilities, every duty will falls on you and eventually exhaust you. The irresponsibility of the partner is a clear sign that they are not ready yet to take up such a big step, yet.

7. Your families are out of the equation 

If your partner does not want to involve your family in the decision and wants to do it all by themselves, it indicates that something is wrong. 

Moving in together is a big decision, and you must at least inform your family about it even if you don’t consider their opinion. It is a security measure, and if your partner hinders that, you are not ready to move in together yet.

8. You both are not clear about your future goals

None of you have any clear idea about where do you wish to go and what do you ultimately want to do.

This lack of clarity is a common indication that you might not be ready to move in and live together. 

In an ideal setting, partners not only know about each other’s plans but also align with them.

9. You are scared to be alone

Even though the thought of staying alone sends you shivers, it just cannot be the reason why you want to move in.

If the inner motive is not because you love them or want to share your life with them but because living alone makes you crazy, it’s not the right time

10. The relationship is not your TOP priority

You are not moving in together because the relationship is your topmost priority or because you want to upgrade your relationship.

Instead, you want to move in because of the associated benefits like division of responsibilities. Or you might be moving in together because it helps you maintain a status quo and live hassle-free. 

11. You feel pressured to be together

Your partner is constantly pursuing you and you have made this decision because you just want them to stop it. Instead of feeling happy that you are starting a new phase in your life, you have forced yourself to move in. 

12. You are doing it because of financial security

If you are considering moving in together only because you want to depend financially on your partner, then it is not the right reason!

It can also be the opposite where your partner wants to be dependent on you financially. But either way, it is wrong.

Maintaining the financial independence of both partners in a relationship is important, and unless that is achieved, you are moving in together too soon.

13. It is the last resort to save your relationship

You believe this is the last way you can save your relationship after all the perils you two have been through. However, this never works out, and it can instead break the relationship sooner because it is already vulnerable, and you are exposing it to more insecurities. 

It is a clear sign that you are contemplating moving in together too soon and should let things settle first.

14. You did not plan it thoroughly

You do not have an idea about where you are going to live or what arrangements you need to make. The entire decision is haphazard; you are just walking on emotions instead of rationality. This indicates that you are probably thinking of moving in together too soon.

Remember nothing works without proper planning so how can you expect that from a full-fledged relationship.

15. You are not over the Honeymoon Phase

You both are still in the honeymoon phase and have not seen how the relationship can get blunt and naked with time. Further, you still think they are only good to each other, and you will live on a bed of roses when you move in together. 

16. Your lifestyles do not match

You both have absolutely contrasting lifestyles. Even worse, you both have not discussed this at all, and there is no middle-ground that you have reached to make your stay together easy and comfortable. 

Before moving in together, this is a very important discussion that every couple must have and then make the decision wisely.

17. Neither of you are adjusting

Both of you are extremely arrogant, and nobody is ready to adjust. This rigidity will cause more friction when you start to live together.

Hence both of you need to adjust to each other’s needs, wants, goals, and lifestyle first and then think about moving in together; otherwise, it is too soon.

18. Your partner is deciding the deeds alone

Your partner has taken all the decisions alone, without considering your opinions. They feel that it is only their right alone and you must follow them all the time.  

In most cases, this is a common sign that you are moving ahead too fast without considering your importance in a relationship.

19. You are NOT sure

You are not convinced that you want to move in together but give in to your partner’s desires. Further, you are still confused and want some time to think it through. However, you think this might hurt your partner and cause further problems in the relationship.  

20. It makes you nervous and not in a good way

There is a constant feeling that the relationship will change forever, and you may not be able to cope with it. Sometimes, this is because you are thinking of moving in together too fast.

How long should you ideally wait before moving in together?

Almost every two couples in three plan to move in together before they tie the knot forever, and you must too.

But “when should you do it” is a tricky question. But here are some stats from a survey to help you make the decision.  

  • 30% Couples think of moving in within 6 months of their relationship
  • 40% Couples plan in between 6 months to 1 year
  • 20% of couples think about it in 1-2 years.
  • And, a small part, that is 10% delay it to later than 2 years

So, if you go by the numbers, almost 50% of the lot move in within one year of the relationship. However, it is on you to find your sweet spot.

Over To You…

The timeline of every relationship is very different, and hence what might be soon for one couple will not apply to the other couple. However, some clear indicators like disrespect, violence or even abuse should be considered while making the decision.

Talk with your partner clearly; this will give you the best idea about whether you should consider moving in together or take some more time to think.

Are you interested to know more about ‘Living Apart Together’ then click here?