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Friendship to Love – Everything You Need to Know about the Transition

Friendship to Love – Everything You Need to Know about the Transition

Updated on Sep 12, 2023

Reviewed by Julianne Cantarella, MSW, LSW , Certified Relationship Coach

Friendship to Love – Everything You Need to Know

It’s absolute bliss to watch the gradual change of friendship to love… and you know what’s even more beautiful? Experiencing this wonderful change yourself. 

Friendships that turn into love experience it in its most real form. You get to be with each other and be there for each other at all stages. Honestly, dreaming about it seems magical but taking a step forward becomes scary.

What if they don’t feel the same? What if you lose your friendship?

Don’t worry, I am here to help you on this “friends to lovers” journey!

So, without further ado, dive straight in and

Friendship to Love – Is it possible?

Summary
Friendship can turn into love only when two friends mutually want to cross the platonic barriers and explore something more intimate. If it’s one-sided, that’ll only lead to heartbreaks and awkwardness.

I know your eyes are fishing to see a one-word positive response. But before I go there. I must explain all the possibilities. So, hold tight!

If two friends fall in love, it’s the most soul-satisfying experience in their life. It might start as a friendly feeling but you won’t be able to stop following the trail.

Isn’t that just exciting?

One who finds love in friendship already sees the real them, their flaws, and their kindness. There’s absolutely no barrier to presenting your best and worst self because they choose you every day. You will have a partner to face awkward social interactions and to cry in the corner with.

But this once-in-a-lifetime experience is only possible if two friends decide to cross that line, together. They have mutual feelings and love for each other.

If that’s not the case, the chances of being heartbroken are extremely high. You will end up in the dreaded friend zone. Your friendship won’t remain the same and it’ll be a hell of a task to be in the same room with them.

So, the real question must be, does your friend also have romantic feelings for you?

Is that eye contact a hint? Or are you in for a heartbreak?

Maybe they can’t express it so it’s hidden behind those subtle signs (yes, sometimes it’s like that). In that case, check out the list below to spot one that matches your memory.


How to know if friendship is turning into love? – 30 Signs

When friendship truly turns into love or when you grow feelings for a lover, I know your mind bursts with lots of doubts and uncertainty.

Oh, maybe he was just being nice

I’m just reading into the lines… I shouldn’t think like that about her.

You grow anxious by the minute and try to ignore them… and the more you ignore, the harder your heart longs for them.

But what’s the point of going around in circles? Rather look out for the signs your possible love interest might be giving you. C’mon plunge into this list…

1. The communication frequency has changed

Take a moment and notice if there’s any change in your communication ways. Think about how you guys communicated months before and now.

Are you guys texting and video calling more than you did before?

Do you talk all day with them?

Do you both keep texting all day?

That happens when friendship is turning into love. You want to communicate more because you want to be with them. So, take it as a good sign.

2. Their body language is different

Pay attention to their body language around you. You might have hugged them a lot of times before, but this time it feels different.

Perhaps, you want to hug them a bit longer… you hung your arm around their shoulder thinking it was a platonic move, but you actually wanted to be near them.

You might want to lean toward them when in a group… or often want to sit next to them. In a group setting, you might save a seat for them next to you.

All of this means you are attracted and it’s more than just a friendship.

3. They get jealous easily now

It didn’t matter if she/he was talking to other guys/girls before, but suddenly you want her/him all to yourself.

When other guys/girls make them laugh, you feel a burning tinge in your heart. When they mention their exes, it makes you uncomfortable and you’ll do anything to avoid that conversation.

Why? Because you want them all to yourself. That’s it! You just cannot visualize them with anyone else except you. You don’t want other people with them… rather be the one beside them, isn’t it?

4. The flirting game is different

Flirting is another sign that you’re a potential couple in making. It can be as subtle as making long eye contact to as intense as touching constantly. It’s a way to express your feelings where words fail.

You compliment their looks, about how you feel around them, and so on. If they flirt back without the ‘friend feels’ then it’s great news for you, my friend. Keep going in that direction.

5. You both find ways to spend some alone time together

You both meet in groups but constantly find ways to move out and spend time together away from the group. This is another great sign that your ‘friend’ has now become a romantic interest in your life.

You want to be closer to them without others jumping in between. At a party or a social event, you sit somewhere alone, where no one can see you.

Now, isn’t that romantic?

6. You both share everything

If you feel you’ve someone with whom you can share everything about our life, without any filters, you already have a lot more than most other people. And if you two are that person for each other, what better?

You both like to share what you ate, whom you met, and every big and small detail of your day. You look forward to talking to them every day and cherish every moment spent.

7. Your common friend starts teasing you

It happens to all of us. When two friends get suspiciously close, the other friends tease the hell out of them. They start calling them out on their closeness, their blushing faces, though in good spirit.

So, if your mutual friends are teasing both of you, it’s a sign that you guys have crossed the friendship line.

You both want to get close and become more than just friends. Your friends noticed it… and about time you do too!

8. Every good news should be shared with them first

When you get good or bad news, do you ever feel the need to share that with that one friend before anyone else? Then it’s clear that the person is more than a good friend.

Why?

It’s a natural tendency of romantic partners to share anything with them first before anyone else. And if you both have found that person within each other, your love life will be a beautiful ride.

9. Your eye contact gets hot and heavy

Eye contact is indeed important to communicate, but when it gets longer than usual, it’s a subtle sign that you want each other.

C’mon, answer these…

Do you feel an urge to look them in the eye? Do you feel a spark when they look and smile at you?

If yes, then maybe it’s not fair for you to keep your feelings hidden.

10. You find excuses to touch each other

Physical contact is one of the most unmistakable signs to count on. Yes, there is platonic physical contact in friends as well… but with this person, your heart beats faster. You want to touch their back or their hair. You want to touch them without a reason, just to stay in close contact.

Your heart beats faster when they are close but it feels good. Doesn’t it?

11. Their texts bring a smile on your face

Smiling at a friend’s meme is normal, but smiling at a ‘Hi’ from your ‘good friend’ is not. And if you’re, it’s a clear indication of budding feelings for that person in your heart.

You feel the urge to respond as fast as possible, even when you are with others. Because, nothing else seems more important than them.

So, do you smile too when that text pops on your screen?

12. You’re conscious of your appearance

When that friend becomes a “special” one, you get conscious of your appearance. You constantly want to be your perfect self around them. You make sure you dress well and wear nice perfume.

You might even keep stealing glances of yourself from the mirrors just to ensure if your lipstick is still on, or if your hair’s on point.  

After all, it’s all in the little things.

13. You’re constantly thinking about them

It doesn’t matter if you meet them or not, you find yourself constantly thinking about them 24/7. You replay your past meetups, their laughs and their beautiful eyes.

If you want to have a romantic relationship with them, sometimes it’s possible to fantasize about scenarios where you are already a couple, lost in each other. This is a sign that you are becoming more than close friends.

Does that sound like you? Then, my friend, you have fallen in love.

14. Their little efforts make you happy

It’s the tiny-little efforts that separate love from friendship, isn’t it? Yes, friends also make efforts for each other, but when that “special someone” goes out of their way to see a smile on your face, that’s when you know love is knocking on your doors.

You know when they wear your favorite color for a week straight, or when they bring you a cup of coffee just the way you like it.

15. You flirt with cute names

This is not a very solid sign to depend on but it’s still a sign. Friends give each other lots of funny names often to roast each other… but if you refrain from using those pet names, then it’s a sign of love.

If your pet name changes from goofy ones to ‘dear’, ‘sweety’, or ‘babe’… it implies you want to show affection. If they have feelings for you, this intimate name will convince them that you are ready to take that step forward.

16. Third-wheeling friends are common

When a friend hangs out with the two of you, find out if they actually enjoy that. If they stay silent for most part of the tour and only want you both to talk… it’s because they know there’s something brewing between you both.

They notice that you both are romantically interested in each other even before you can. Maybe they are even rooting for you two.

So, if any of this seems familiar, buddy the friendship is no more “just” a friendship.

17. You bring them meaningful gifts

Gifts are a beautiful way to express love. The definition of a gift might depend from person to person but the effort counts.

You often think of gifting them their favorite flowers, chocolates, or a playlist, just to see that smile on their face. The smile makes your flutter like no one else and you’re willing to do anything for that.  

18. The vulnerable side comes out

The wall of awkwardness has now been knocked down and you both are vulnerable to each other. You don’t think twice before sharing your secrets, deepest desires, and stories because you’ve a strange sense of solace with them.

You know that they won’t judge or misunderstand you. So, if you’re not afraid to show your weak side in front of them, there’s definitely more than friendship to it.

19. You are no more afraid of new adventures

This is one of the most adorable things about love. You start liking things you didn’t before, just because they love it. You will find yourself watching shows they like or wearing the color they love… all for the hope of starting a conversation with them!

It’s actually cute of you to make these efforts… and also suggestive of the butterflies in your heart… if you know what I mean. 😉

20. You discuss your future with them

You don’t talk about your future plans with just anyone, do you?

But with them, you don’t hesitate for even one second. Why? It’s because you’re already day-dreaming about a future with them.

You are seeking something long-term and you want to ensure if they are on the same page as you.

21. Their needs are taking space in your mind

Friends take care of you but it’s love when you put their needs before your own. You know what they like and dislike and it’s not limited to colors or food.

You care for their emotions, health and also their mood. You care for them just as you would take care of yourself. And when anything happens you would do anything to make it normal… then my friend, you’re already love sick!

22. You don’t miss their calls or texts

In a world where most conversations happen via text, you don’t want to miss their calls. Listening to them and talking about their day makes you happy.

On days when you know he will call you after work hours, you wrap your work early. Not only that, you listen to them patiently and try to keep the conversation flowing.

23. You share cute Instagram posts with each other

In today’s insta-frenzy generation, there’s no way I didn’t mention it here. If you or your special someone is sharing cute memes or tagging each other on love-sick posts, you know that it’s not just friendship.

After all, there’s a reason why (s)he is the first name that pops in your mind when you see a cute meme.

24. They are irresistible to you

I am no relationship expert, but I know that when you are with the person you love, you two become irresistible to each other.

You’ll notice that the shy guy is suddenly brushing their body against you, playing with your hair, and pulling you in the corner. Or, the nerdy girl doesn’t seem to move your eyes away from their lips.

I mean yes, all that counts for something.

25. They’re a source of your happiness

If they try to make you happy when you feel low, you must cling to this kind of love. This is the one of the purest ways to communicate that they want to be more than friends.

They really care about your mood and cannot see you upset. They want to see you smiling 24*7 and get rid of everything that prevents it. Isn’t that a sign of romantic love?

26. You cannot get enough of your meet-ups

You might meet every month, week, or even every two days, but you start missing them as soon as you reach home. Time is never enough for the two of you and it seems to fly by when you’re together.

After the meet, you replay the scenario in your head continuously because it makes you feel good. You find new places to spend more time with them and new excuses to invite them home and. Now, that already says a lot, doesn’t it?

27. You talk about them 24/7

This is one of the most adorable signs that shows you have been hit by Cupid’s bow. No matter what’s the topic, you constantly mention them… to your family members, your mutual friends, and everyone else.

This is because you cannot get them out of your mind and try to include them in the conversation as soon as you get the chance.

28. You know everything about them

Yes, even in friendship you know everything about friends but if you remember every little detail of your ‘friends’ conversations, then it’s not just friendship.

For instance, you know what kind of coffee they like, the kind of flowers they love, or what keeps them awake at night.

Moreover, when they notice you remember such small details, they didn’t pay much importance to it, you will eventually find a special place in their heart.

29. You are both single

Possibly, throughout your friendship, you both were never single at the same time.

But now, since you are both single, you have the freedom to spend time and explore the other side of the relationship. The romantic side!

You are seeing them in a way you never thought you would and not to mention, you like how it feels!

30. Your talks have become long… but never enough

Now, this is a tricky one. If you were friends that texted a lot even before, then this isn’t valid for you. But if you guys had minimal contact and have recently started talking a lot more than usual, then there’s definitely something cookin’.

So, most of these signs matched and you know you’re all set to go down on one knee? All the best, buddy!

But what if you don’t and still wish to change the status of your bond? Then here’s a secret path for you…


How to turn friendship into Love? – 20 Steps

Before you dive deep to find out how to turn your friendship into love, gauge their behavior and ensure that you’re both on the same page.

If you’ve seen a green signal from the other side, reflect on your own thoughts and know whether you’re genuinely serious about this relationship or if it’s just a whim.

If you’re serious, then what are you waiting for? Dig in, buddy!

1. Gauge your own feelings

Before going ahead with your decision to turn this into a romantic love thing, dive deep inside your own heart.

List all the reasons why you like them and why you want to be with them. If you like them just because you are happy around them, that’s not enough. But if your heart skips a beat around them, then it’s worth going ahead. 

Remember, that once you confess your feelings, your relationship will change forever. And there’s no going back after that.

2. Talk to someone you trust

Don’t just get up one fine day and pour your heart out. Instead, first talk to a trusted friend. They will be able to give you actionable advice and insights on how to proceed with this.

If you have a friend that experienced something similar, seek them but make sure they want the best for you.

3. Flirting never gets old

You don’t want to come off as desperate for this relationship, so take your time.

Moreover, it can get uncomfortable and awkward, so start with only a few sneaky flirty behaviors. Like to use your words wisely and make eye contact while talking. If they flirt back, take it as a good sign.

4. Drop subtle hints

If you want this relationship dearly, start dropping hints about it already. For example, tell them you talked about them to your mom and see how they react.  

Their curiosity and sly smiles will help you understand whether they are willing to take this “friendship” ahead.

5. Dress to impress! 😉

If you’re heading out to meet them, make sure you look perfect. Wear good outfits preferably of their favorite color. Wear fragrances that might attract their attention towards you.

Yes, relationships are beyond looks but the initial phase of attraction has its own charm. Doesn’t it?

6. C’mon, compliment them

This is especially for the ones who feel shy to express their heart – Use the power of compliments. 

Compliment them when they show up in a dress or when they did extremely well in a class project. Praise their looks and intelligence and also their personality – trust me, it will win you brownie points.

7. Talk with your body too

You don’t just talk with your words but your body too. So if you really wanna make a difference, it’s time you must train your body to deliver the same message. Start with these few gestures.

  • Lean slightly towards them when they talk.
  • Look into their eyes when they speak.
  • Smile when they say something to you.
  • Give them side hugs when you are about to leave.

8. Gather your thoughts

You concealed your emotions within flirty actions. But now, it’s time to say it out loud. However, before that, gather your thoughts well.

Tell them that you value your friendship but you wish for something more. Ask them if they feel that spark too. Make them understand that they can choose to stay friends, which is okay too.

If it helps, prepare the speech beforehand.

9. Think before you speak

Learn to identify the differences between friendship and love because the moment you express your feelings, it will change your relationship. So, reflect on your thoughts well and then confess.

10. Set aside some time to talk

Reach out to that special someone that you want to meet face to face and talk about something important. Assure that it’s nothing to worry about but it’s important.

Make sure you meet in a place they like most, maybe a coffee shop or a park. Be calm and communicate your feelings with full honesty.  

If this seems like too much, you can also go ahead and talk to them over the phone or even write a letter.

11. Pour out your heart

This is the time when you must pour your heart out without any filters. Mention that it’s been wonderful to be their friend but you are romantically interested in them.

You can’t help falling in love with them and it’s quite a task to keep it to yourself any longer.

12. Listen, just listen!

Now that you have said everything you wanted to, it’s time to listen. And, I really mean it. Listen, not just because it’s their time to speak, it’s because their answers will change your relationship.

You might be excited and nervous, all at the same time, but don’t let that interrupt them. The best thing you can do is ask them when you are done expressing your feelings. This will allow them to process the news and react nicely to you.

13. Give them some time to think

I’ll say it again. It is big news for them… they’ll need time to process it. So, once you’ve expressed your feelings, allow them some time to think.

Make them comfortable by saying you don’t need an answer right away… unless they already have an answer in mind.

If they say yes, then I am rooting for you, but even if it’s a no, then life will go on.

14. Start slow

Taking your relationship from friendship to love is an extremely delicate process. So, don’t try to rush things… otherwise, you might ruin them.

You might encounter awkward moments but if you materialize the process, it will all turn into cute memories to look back at.

15. Start going out alone

Until now, if you two typically met with other friends, it’s time you must explore each other with no third-eye around.

Meet separately or go on long walks with each other. This will help you understand each other more than you used to.

You don’t need to abandon your friends because of this but take out some alone time to spend with your love.

16. Make fond memories

Going on dates is one of the best ways to spend some time alone with each other. Most romantic relationships that start from friendships often miss out on the initial honeymoon phase.

So go out on dates and explore new hobbies and places. It will help you set a romantic tone between you both and find your way out of that friendship comfort.  

Some of my best suggestions – Go on a picnic date, or painting classes, a new cafe or bakery.

17. Don’t rush physical touch

Wanting to show affection by physical touch is common in couples. It in fact shows that you both are equally in the relationship.

But here’s the thing, you are turning from friends to lovers.

You need to be a bit careful about this. Even though your dynamics have now changed, both of you need to be comfortable with getting physical, or else it can get awkward real fast.

18. Make romantic gestures

To strengthen the newfound interest in your love life, do what couples do – send gifts, take them on dates or plan surprises.

But make sure you invest your time and effort in whatever you do. Buy meaningful gifts and plan thoughtful dates.

19. Keep the insecurities at bay

Your love has also been your friend and that is why there are hardly any filters amidst you both. At some point, they probably shared lots of stories about their hook-ups. So, out of habit, they might mention an ex or a one-night stand.

This might hurt you intensely because how can they talk about them in front of you? However, try to understand that they’ll need time to adjust to this change. Don’t feel insecure and tell them if you feel hurt… things will get better in no time!

20. Love being in love! 😉

You loved them for so long… as a friend and now as a lover. But just because you’re now lovers, don’t rush things. Take one step after another.

Your anxious thoughts and midnight fantasies are now coming true. Go ahead and enjoy it.

And oh, don’t mess it up, okay?

Speaking of messing up… once your friendship truly turns into a loving relationship, scary thoughts often pop into your mind. So, let’s take care of it here…


Do the friends-to-lovers relationships last?

Summary
Don’t waste your time worrying about whether your relationship will last. Instead, focus on building a healthy and happy relationship because only your efforts can help this bond last a lifetime.

This is probably your biggest concern right now. Well, guess what? They feel the same way as well.

But what if it doesn’t work out? What if things turn bitter after you guys come closer? What if you break up for good?

So many thoughts and no answer!

It’s natural to worry about this because if this relationship ends then the friendship is over too. Your friends will be divided and it will be awkward to be in the same room too.

But now imagine this:

What if everything becomes better with time? What if you bring out the best in each other? What if they are a missing piece in your life?

Turning lovers from friends will help you reap the joy and bliss of both relationships very well. When you need a friend, you will get one and when you need a lover, you will get one… the best part, in the same person!

And let me tell you, getting that kind of love is rare.

So, don’t focus on the timeline but on your efforts in the relationship.

At the end of the day, if you both are there for each other despite the odds, then the relationship is meant to last. So, properly communicate with them and decide where you both want to be, and just go for it.

A word from ThePleasantRelationship

The journey from friendship to love is super exciting and so much like a fairy-tale… but it can also be pretty awkward because you both know each other’s most embarrassing moments.

But most of all… it might confuse your judgment.

So, take time to identify the right signs. If your friend is as interested in you as you are… think hard if you want the change. If you do, go ahead and work on it. If you get a positive answer, congratulations!

However, keep in mind that they might need time or might not feel the same. Make sure you don’t force them into hurrying or reciprocating your feelings. Never cross the limits… otherwise you might hurt your friendship.

But if you read the signs correctly and find plenty of them, there’s a high chance of making things work. So, have faith in yourself and give it your best shot!

Are you interested to know more about ‘Signs Of Falling Out Of Love’ then click here?