The question “why do couples stay together after an affair” pops into people’s minds only when a loved one also goes through similar circumstances.
You probably want your loved one to get a grip and move on, but they ignore your words. While you wonder what’s actually up with them, they definitely have deeper reasons. So, let’s figure that out here…
Why Do Couples Stay Together After An Affair? – 20 Reasons
Infidelity can always shake the core of the cheated partner. In such situations, it’s natural for them to throw a fit and walk away. However, some people stay back, expecting the relationship to somehow work out.
They confront the pain and try to get over the tough situation. They don’t want to lose everything they built. So, let’s find out the various reasons behind such tough choices…
1. Their partner wants to fix things right away
Sometimes, people cheat in their drunken state. They have zero idea what they did until they get over the high.
In these cases, if the unfaithful partner confesses and apologizes right away and tries to fix things, the cheated partner stays in the relationship. They understand that they really mean to correct themselves.
2. Their partner doesn’t have a history of cheating
If a serial cheater cheats on their partner, that’s expected. In that case, the partner won’t stay because they know nothing can change their partner.
However, when a partner with no history of cheating gets involved in infidelity, they feel the reason behind cheating is something serious. So, they stay back to address the deeper issues.
3. They believe the other deserves at least one chance
Sometimes, people stay back just because their intuition says the other person deserves a chance. Their instincts say that they aren’t a bad person and didn’t mean it. And they don’t want to give up so easily without being sure. So, they take another chance at love.
4. They don’t know the entire story
Sometimes, a person may forgive and stay back in the relationship after their partner’s affair solely because they are kept in the dark.
The cheating partner manipulates them into believing it wasn’t their fault. However, this relationship eventually crumbles when they know they were lied to.
5. Their partner can’t picture a life without them
Sometimes, people stay back just because the cheating partner pleads and begs for them to stay back.
They regret their actions big time and make promises to be a better person and treat them better. The hurt partner gives them a chance solely because of the request.
6. They believe staying will strengthen the bond
It’s not easy to forgive after an affair. So, some partners believe that they can prove their undying love and show the cheating partner what they might miss if they ever pull such stunts again.
They want to fix their partner with unconditional love, which is hard to come by. Of course, they want their partner to put in effort as well.
7. They think they can get over it
Some cheated partners believe that if it happens only once, they can get over it. They don’t know whether they can forgive and move on, but they try. Even if they are hurt and feel insecure in the relationship, they force themselves to stay.
However, this is a weak reason, and the relationship is bound to break down with time.
8. Their partner tries hard to fix things
Sometimes, people don’t promise to stay after infidelity. But they wait and watch how the cheating partner reacts. Eventually, they stay back because their partner puts in enough effort to try to be a better person.
This includes reporting their daily life activities, going for counseling, and actually putting the therapy lessons to use.
9. They feel drained from the resentment
Forgiving a cheating partner is never easy. But holding grudges and acting on them can cost you even more. You may literally lose your sanity then.
So, some people stay because they can’t stand not forgiving their partner. They can’t end things due to a one-time cheating.
10. They are also at fault
In rare cases, individuals cheat because their partner can’t provide them with emotional support. They feel neglected, and they slip into affairs where they get that warmth.
The cheated partner here understands that they played a big role in the affair. So, rather than walking away, they work on themselves and sort things out.
11. They are still obsessed with each other
You might say that the cheating partner cheated because they fell out of love. But let’s not forget that some people are non monogamous. Their affair is definitely a wrong move, but they might still be deeply in love with their partner.
In these cases, if the cheated partner is also intensely attached, they stay back and try to fix things.
12. A bad decision won’t spoil the remaining good decisions
Another reason behind staying back with a cheating partner is because that’s their only flaw. If the affair never happened, they might have been the best partner ever.
So, the hurt partner doesn’t abandon them because of the multiple other good deeds that made the relationship happy.
13. They want to take it as a lesson
Some people move past their partner’s infidelity because they want to learn life lessons as a survivor instead of brooding in a victim mentality.
They try to look through a third person’s perspective to judge their partner. They also believe their partner will grow from this experience.
Moreover, they believe breakups and divorces won’t let them learn the lessons. So, they must learn it now by staying in the relationship rather than facing the same fate repeatedly.
14. They don’t believe in divorce and breakups
One reason people stay despite being cheated on is because they believe in soul mates and destiny.
They feel that there’s someone destined for every person. Though their partner is flawed, they believe in loving and being married to only one person.
15. They don’t want to raise children in a broken family
This is one of the most common reasons behind staying after infidelity. They don’t want to let their kids grow up in a strained family where they must make trips to meet father and mother or can never have both parents together.
16. They financially depend on their partner
If a person has no source of income, they might also decide to stay with a cheating partner. Of course, if they’re married, they can get alimony, but that obviously won’t give them as much security.
They must become self-dependent and move on. But if they’re past their prime, getting a job is tough.
17. Divorce is shunned in their culture or religion
This reason stands only for married couples. In many nations, cultures, and religions, being a divorcee (especially for women) is a shameful deed. So, society forces them to stay back and somehow gain their partner’s favor.
18. They feel it’s too late to start over
A person may also reluctantly stay with their partner because it’s too late to find a new lover. They stay back because they can’t put in the effort of pursuing, trusting, and loving someone all over from scratch. They are emotionally exhausted, so staying is their last resort,
19. They fear being alone
Another reason is that the cheated partner is insecure beforehand, or the cheating makes them lose their self-esteem. They feel nobody will ever love them and fear being alone. They lose their sense of self-worth and instead settle for less.
20. They can’t forget the memories
Lastly, some people just can’t accept that they will have to give up on all the memories they made with their partner. So, even if they get cheated on, they stay back to cherish the old times and carry on with those as their precious mementos.
A word from ThePleasantRelationship
In the end, you can only guess your loved one’s probable reason behind staying back. Unless they tell you for sure, don’t assume anything or seek solutions for them.
Respect their choices and let them know that you will always support them. Let them try their best until they actually need you to step in.
Surabhi wakes up every day with a drive to craft words that can create a soulful impact. Creatively adventurous, she is always seeking to learn new skills and acquire new experiences. With a hidden soft corner for languages (especially Urdu), she writes poetry occasionally, binges on romantic shows, and LOVES to talk. A hustler, admirer, chaser, Surabhi is just another-someone who refused to give up on her dreams. She says, she is just somebody who’s trying to make herself a writer and for now, she’s just writing...