Instead of ending an affair, you’ve dragged it instead, and now you’re wondering why are affairs so hard to end.
Well, an honest confession: An affair is also a relationship. And if this lover or new relationship is closer to you or your primary relationship isn’t satisfying, that may be your answer.
However, that’s not the ONLY reason. There can be so many more hidden reasons. So, let’s find out here…
Why Are Affairs So Hard To End? 15 Real Reasons
Relationships aren’t exactly a bed of roses. They are messy and complicated, often giving rise to affairs. There might have been times when you would have wanted to run away from all the fights and insecurities and find solace in someone else.
But once you get involved in such messy relationships, you can’t untangle yourself. If you’re wondering why, here are some possibilities…
1. Your Primary Relationship Is Not Fulfilling
Affairs often arise when something is amiss within your primary relationship. Whether it’s emotional or sexual dissatisfaction, the affair serves as a way to fill the void.
If everything was smooth as butter in your relationship, you wouldn’t have had an affair. So clearly, you are feeling lonely in your relationship and are in constant search of love.
Rather than having a peek into yourself and addressing the issues directly, you try to seek solace in another person.
2. You Believe In A Soulmate
Dramas and movies have given us a picture-perfect concept of a soulmate that is difficult to find in real life.
When you met your partner, you might have thought that they were your soulmate. But a few years later, you thought you judged wrongly. So, you are on a quest to find the one for you again.
This is when affairs become exhilarating. You feel this intense chemistry and connection, giving you the impression that you have found your soulmate. Your heart says every new affair partner is your soulmate, and you just can’t stop.
3. You Fear Returning To Reality
Maybe your life at home lacks excitement or intimacy. And affairs serve as an escape from the mundane or suffocating aspects of your primary relationship.
That’s why it’s a tempting diversion, making it challenging to let go.
4. You Have An Unbreakable Bond
One reason is that your chemistry with your actual partner doesn’t hit off the right way. You are feeling emotionally and physically unsupported.
In these situations, affairs inevitably foster strong emotional and sexual bonds. These connections become tricky to end.
5. You Feel Appreciated In The Affair
Everyone wants to be loved, cared for, and understood. And when your relationship doesn’t satisfy these areas, you look for it somewhere else.
When your affair partner makes you feel appreciated, your brain releases oxytocin, serotonin, and dopamine. It makes your affair feel much more good than the primary bond.
These feel-good hormones make the idea of ending the affair seem unbearable.
6. You Feel Guilty Of Hurting Your Affair Partner
If you want to end an affair, you may feel guilty of hurting your lover. You just don’t want them to hear the bitter truth, thus making it hard to end things.
7. You Fear Retaliation
You might fear the consequences of ending an affair, particularly if you promised your lover to leave your partner.
Now if you leave this lover for your main relationship, your lover might lash out at you and might even get violent.
This possibility of retaliation or confrontation can be intimidating, making it hard to end things the right way.
8. It Is A Coping Mechanism
You might have seen in TV shows and movies how a person betrays their partner after an unsettling news or fight. This might be the same case with you.
Rather than addressing unresolved internal issues, you choose to evade them by engaging in an affair.
While the affair provides a temporary distraction, these underlying problems remain, waiting to resurface once the affair ends. And you go round and round in this affair, struggling to end it.
9. You can’t get a divorce
Some people get entangled in affairs because they can’t get a divorce to start with a clean slate. It might either be out of social pressure or the responsibility of a family.
Even if you can’t get away from your primary relationship, you’re not in love with them. You fall for the other person and can’t end it at all.
10. It Feels Like A Break-Up
Breakups any day in any form can be physically and emotionally draining. And if you’re as invested in the affair, it might feel gut-wrenching to break up.
Emotional investment, deep conversations, and intimacy all contribute to a bond that feels like a genuine partnership. And ending such a relationship is never easy.
11. You’re Uncertain About The Right Decision
Many individuals caught in affairs struggle to determine if ending the affair is the right choice. The fear of causing pain and uncertainty about the future creates hesitancy in making a definitive decision.
Moreover, if your affair is your happy and safe space, you will definitely not want to end it and go back to your monotonous life.
12. It Gives You A Sense Of Validation
For most people, affairs give them a sense of validation. They feel valued and supported.
If your lover compliments you, praises you, respects your opinion, appreciates your efforts, something that your partner never did, you wouldn’t want to end it.
Affairs might make you feel reassured, happy, and connected, and hence you are too scared to let go.
13. You Believe In Polygamy
It might not come as a surprise that most people consider monogamy to be very restrictive. The idea of being with one person for life can be very contrasting to their outgoing personality.
This is one of the reasons why people tend to have affairs, as they feel it’s okay to do so. They want to explore different relationships to fulfill their emotional and physical needs.
And this belief prevents you from getting rid of affairs.
14. You Are Addicted To Affairs
If you crave the thrill of breaking the rules, then what can be more thrilling than having a secret affair?
Settling down to the needs of a married life might not give you the kick that you need. Hence, you explore the affair route, hoping it to be more interesting and adventurous.
Since you love taking risks, you are in continuous search of excitement. This makes it tricky for you to end your affairs.
15. Your Partner Is Toxic
If you are living with a toxic partner, it is quite likely for you to have an affair. Your partner might be abusive, a great manipulator, and a narcissist.
And instead of sorting things out with them, you feel it’s easier to go to someone else.
The controlling and harassing nature of your partner might make it difficult to stay with them. Thus making your affair last even longer.
A word from ThePleasantRelationship
Affairs are challenging to end due to the myriad emotions, complex bonds, and difficult decisions involved.
In such situations, it is essential to engage in introspection, seek guidance, and prioritize your well-being and happiness in making relationship choices.
While this article sheds light on the intricacies of affairs, it is recommended to seek professional guidance to make well-informed decisions about your future.
Surabhi wakes up every day with a drive to craft words that can create a soulful impact. Creatively adventurous, she is always seeking to learn new skills and acquire new experiences. With a hidden soft corner for languages (especially Urdu), she writes poetry occasionally, binges on romantic shows, and LOVES to talk. A hustler, admirer, chaser, Surabhi is just another-someone who refused to give up on her dreams. She says, she is just somebody who’s trying to make herself a writer and for now, she’s just writing...