What is love?
The butterflies in your stomach… the violins in the background or maybe the wind tickling your spine.
But that is not all. With roses also come thorns. If love is living on the clouds, it is also being thrown to the ground.
Still, all of us hope to find it someday. Because love, they say, is an inexpressible feeling. It is accepting and forgiving, patient and kind, sensitive yet gentle.
Love can be like Jim and Pam, we have it with us, but we are unaware.
Love can be like Jake and Amy, where you roast each other until one hails the trophy.
Love can be like you and me, finding something to hold on to, like unending lines of poetry.
Tuck yourself in your blanket, snuggle up with your pillows and hold on to that warm coffee because I’ll tell you about love today.
Let’s get rolling!
What Is Love Infographics
What is Love?
Summary
The word love means a feeling of deep affection and care for someone. It fills you with warmth and passion.
Love, by definition, means an intense feeling of deep affection.
But it obviously fails to hint onto the fact that it is magical. The feeling is not limited to affection.
It is what you feel when you experience stargazing or when you feel something tickly inside your body because only love can do that to you.
It can make you feel that your whole world resides in one human being… when you thought it was impossible or may be impractical.
Love is not just an intimate emotion between two people involved romantically. It can be so many things all at once.
Examples
- Your mother calls you up every few minutes to know if you have eaten.
- Your best friend standing at your doorstep with your favorite flavor of the coffee just moments after you disconnected the call, telling them you do not want to talk
- Your sibling crashing into your room exactly when you ask for privacy, just to annoy you.
- Your father switches off the fan on humid sunny mornings to wake you up.
- Your long-lost friend is trying to patch up because they miss you.
Love is what holds your hands in the dark and guides you towards the light. Whether you want it to or not, it stays with you, embracing your heart to keep you all warm and safe.
Now that we have covered the philosophical aspect. Let’s find out what science has to say about this mysterious feeling.
Science behind love
Summary
They say love is all about the heart, but it’s more about the brain. You feel what your brain makes you feel. I’m not saying this, science is!
Years of research, execution and representation could not pinpoint what love is actually about.
The world still doesn’t know if there’s any scientific reasoning behind it. Or is it just our brain? Are nerves responsible, or is it just our heart?
Well, experts have been saying that love is all about the subconscious mind.
Here’s what I deduced from the studies.
The feeling of love is stimulated by 3 chemicals in your brain: dopamine, which makes you feel good, phenylethylamine, which triggers the butterflies and noradrenaline, which makes your heart race…. and the combined reaction of all the three, gives you the feeling of LOVE!
And what happens when you’re in love?
All your days… and all your nights, starts and ends at them. Everything about the world starts getting more interesting… only because of this one person.
Everything about them seems exciting. The preferences, choices, the books they read, the places they visit, their favorite song, and their personal genre of films. EVERYTHING!
Well, whether or not this love is meant to be forever… you don’t know but you certainly hope for the forever.
But here I am wondering how long has this emotion of love been in existence? Does this intrigue you too? What are you waiting for then? Scroll down, my friend.
History of Love
Summary
Love dates back to 200 million years and there have been various versions of it ever since.
Historically, Greek philosophers found six types of love among which platonic love emerges at the top.
A few others added to the number. And, it keeps increasing with time.
If we look at the foundation, this word dates back to millions of years ago.
According to Greek Mythology, all of us have to go about finding out the other half that had been detached… So, let’s get going, folks! Find out your soulmate! 😉
For decades or about 200 million years, everyone has been trying to decode what love actually means.
There have been various versions of love – Indian, Persian, Chinese, and many more. There are even different models of love, and one of them is The Triangular Theory.
There have been uncountable definitions about this emotion… coined by philosophers, historians, psychologists, etc.
…and yet, here we are! 😉
Looking for “What is Love!” Hahaha…
Even if none of the definitions were enough to describe what we really experience during love, one thing’s for sure… love is different than lust. How? Let’s find out.
Love v/s Lust
It is difficult to spot the thin line that differentiates Love from Lust. Emotions are deceiving, and sometimes they can fool you into believing that what you are feeling is love, not lust, and vice versa.
So, here are 15 differences that can help you identify the thin blurred line between the two.
| Basis | Love | Lust |
| Definition | Love means showing extraordinary affection towards your partner and connecting with them on an emotional level. | Lust is a desire for sexual intimacy. It only focuses on the physical aspects of a person. In simpler terms, lust is synonymous with sexual desire. |
| Attitude towards the person. | You are genuinely committed to one another. You have pure intentions for each other. You are considerate about the feelings of your partner. | There is no long-term commitment. The relationship is pleasurable only for a short period. Mutual connection is not the goal. Instead, mutual bodily pleasure is. |
| What it feels like | You feel content and experience immense affection towards them. You can confide in your partner as the communication between you two is effortless. | You feel passionate and full of joy. You feel intense sexual desire. Sometimes, you feel needy and crave them. |
| Effect | Love creates a sense of stability.Contentment is prevalent in love. | It induces a sensual desire in you.Your sex drive is at an all-time high. You are always energized and active. |
| Interdependency | Love gives way to a solid partnership. You both are dependent on each other yet have your own individual personality. | Lust can be the first stage to love. It can result in friendships too. But the behavior can damage you emotionally if there is a lack of empathy and compassion between you and your partner. |
| Period | Love keeps getting intense over time. The longer the relationship, the deeper the love. | Lust, mostly, depends on the person but is often found to be short-lived. However, if lust develops into love, then it may be long-term. |
| Commitment | Love means indulging in a life-long commitment. | Often, lust entertains temporary commitment which is valid only until the desire is fulfilled. But, if it develops into love, the partnership might last long. |
| Symptoms | Symptoms for love are trust, loyalty, and honesty. In love, they are willing to make sacrifices for you, and so are you. | You desire physical intimacy.You are passionate about their body. You are filled with an intense thirst for sexual gratification. |
| Intimacy | Love is not just about physical intimacy but also about emotional intimacy. | Lust is exclusively about physical intimacy. |
| Communication | When in love, communication is necessary. It is deep, and you feel comfortable talking about anything and everything. | Lust does not require communication. It is necessary only if you are not feeling satisfied enough in your bedroom endeavors. |
| Trust | Trust is a vital factor in love. It builds with time and is the foundation of any healthy relationship. | Lust does not require trust. Feeling safe is a concern, but overall, expectations are low while trusting the partner. |
| Acceptance | Love means accepting your partner for who they are. It also means embracing your inner self while your partner does the same. | Few things might not be acceptable in lust. The expectations are highly superficial and can lead to a few unacceptable scenarios. |
| Vulnerability | The vulnerability quotient is higher in love because of the immense trust between the partners. | There is an absence of emotional connection and trust between the partners. This leads to no vulnerability between the partners. |
| Long-term relationship | When in love, you imagine a future with your partner. This desire for a long-term relationship allows the couple to resolve differences and work things out. | Lust is all about sexual satisfaction. They might just live in the moment and part ways when things do not seem to work out. |
| Result | Love results in a peaceful and lasting relationship. It provides you with a sense of security and comfort. It can also lead to a long-term marriage, where you both nurture a family together. | If the lust is not satisfied, it can lead to sexual frustration. If the lust is satisfied mutually, it results in pleasure. |
The bottom line is that love is the real deal, and lust is merely physical attraction. You must have noticed the plethora of factors that differentiate love from lust.
Read on if you want to know about the vital factors of love in detail.
Key factors of Love
Have you ever wondered what the key factors are in love? Is it trust, loyalty, or something else? Mostly, we believe that falling in love is enough to sustain a relationship with a person. But, is it?
Ups and downs are a common sight in every relationship. But there are a few key factors that remain unchanged.
So, here’s a list with 10 key factors of love… that will help you test the waters and make your relationship successful.
1. Trust
Trust is the foundation of every type of love. When partners do not trust each other, it gets difficult for the relationship to survive.
However, you can’t build trust in someone overnight; it takes time… sometimes, years.
Once you have trust in each other, your relationship becomes invincible. This is what makes it the vital key factor of love.
2. Loyalty
Every relationship, no matter how many partners it involves, requires loyalty.
It’s okay to admire the beautiful lady you saw at the mall last day or that handsome guy who was flaunting his drool worthy abs at the beach… but it’s not okay to go behind your partner’s back.
If you want something more from the relationship, communicate it with your partner and take solid steps ahead.
3. Respect
Respect is non-negotiable in a healthy relationship.
When you truly love someone, you respect them even if their opinions do not align with yours. Love without respect is nothing but toxic.
Choose your words carefully while talking to your partner and restrict yourself from speaking anything that might be disrespectful to them.
Maintaining boundaries and keeping yourself from hurting your partner in any manner is another way of showing respect to your partner.
4. Emotional Connect
Love is nothing without emotional intimacy. Your love will go through hell and high water.
But, in the end, if your partner is there to hold your hand, it all feels worth it.
Having an emotional connection is a key factor of love because partners who are emotionally available for each other can deal with all the lemons life throws at them.
They might even make lemonade out of it. Hahaha.
5. Freedom (Independence)
Love never, I repeat, NEVER asks you to forget yourself. In fact, it is about embracing your authentic self.
Your freedom to express yourself in whatever way you want adds to the beauty of your love. Your decisions should be independent of judgments from your lover.
When in love, you become the best version of yourself. You cherish the person you have become. The uniqueness in your personality is what keeps the spark alive in your relationship.
6. Safety
If it does not feel safe, it is not love.
Someone might shower their partner with expensive gifts and undivided attention. But, if it is followed by abuse, it is definitely not love.
Such relationships do not survive long enough to see the light of the day.
When you marry your partner, you make vows to protect them and love them. They are supposed to feel safe in your arms. You are supposed to be their safety cushion.
7. Friendship
Personally, I am a big supporter of the friends to lovers’ trope.
A great friendship with someone and loving them is quite an underrated blessing. I absolutely adore the couples who can be partners and best friends.
Well, even if you are not lovers, you need to have inexplicable friendship to even feel platonic love for a person. Your loved ones are always your best friends.
8. Honesty
Indeed, honesty is the best policy.
Being honest and upfront with your partner is always the best thing you can do. A relationship full of white lies and deceiving statements will not survive long enough.
But, being disloyal and unfaithful can really break their trust. This can also end your relationship, leaving you all alone for the rest of your life.
9. Forgiveness
Forgiveness is the key to a healthy relationship.
You might have a long list of habits that annoys you. But, at the end of the day, you should not forget the never-ending love they have for you.
I am not asking you to forgive your partner if they have done something terrible. Like, cheating on you.
But, if it is something menial and your partner is presenting a sincere apology, you should forgive them.
10. Communication
After all this, do I really need to stress on the importance of communication? Really?
Honestly, it’s absolutely impossible to be in love for a lifetime without effective communication.
The skill of understanding the feelings of your partner is a valuable one. If you can put your head around all types of emotions of your partner just with a single glance, you have mastered love.
If you think love is only found in romantic relationships, then you are wrong my friend. There are other types of love too. Here’s a sneak-peek into a few.
Types of Love
Here, I have compiled Greek definitions of various types of love. They are not limited to romantic relationships… it can be applied to one and all.
So, let’s get going…
1. Eros (Erotic and passionate love)
Eros refers to Physical love. As you know, love and lust are two different things altogether. Both of them can dramatically influence our decisions.
Historically speaking, Eros was considered the GOD of sexual desire or sensual love in Greece.
However, the Greeks did not have an affirmative opinion on the same. For they believed that lust and love can be totally blinding.
It is the love where the lovers want to be constantly around each other. They use physical language to express their attachment.
Eros can be interpreted as a powerful kind of love that depicts sexual desire. Young lovers or newly married couples enjoy this type of love.
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There is nothing wrong in cherishing one another’s company and rejoicing in the newly fetched attraction. As time passes, this type of love changes its form or fades away.
2. Philia (Love between friends and peers)
Philia or platonic love is when sex is all that you’re looking for in love. You love being around your beloved. You just want them to be happy. You are ready to help them whenever they are in need.
Intimacy does not need sexual proximity. It also has an emotional aspect to it.
This type of love can also be between friends or even siblings.
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It is good to tell your beloved about their importance in your life. Spend as much quality time as is possible with your beloved if that is what makes you happy and content.
3. Ludus (Playful love)
While most people refer to Ludus as a flirtatious type of love, that is not all it constitutes of. Ludus refers to the playful version of love, where the lover teases and flirts with their beloved.
This type of love is all about being a little naughty and touchy, between youngsters who do not want anything serious in their relationship.
Now, this does not mean it cannot lead to a serious relationship, but this phase of fun and flirting is called Ludus.
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Do not burden your shoulders with the thoughts of a long-term relationship, responsibility, and valid emotions.
It is good that you are capable of enjoying this fun phase. You deserve all the pleasure, darling!
4. Pragma (Enduring love)
Pragma takes some time to build up. It is when lovers have understood each other completely, agree to each other’s proposals, and are capable of overcoming the shortcomings in their relationship.
It is a very honorable type of love, which definitely takes a lot of time and patience to develop.
If you want to nurture pragma in your relationship, start with loving yourself.
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The dissipation of the honeymoon phase makes some couples believe that their partners do not love them anymore.
To avoid this mistake, communication is key. You need to communicate transparently with your partner and understand their inner feelings.
5. Agape (Selfless Love)
A selfless and unconditional love is not something unattainable. In fact, Agape refers to that kind of love where you love someone without expecting anything in return. You do not have any ulterior motive.
If you see yourself going all the way to sacrifice things for your beloved, you know what’s agape. However, you can also be at the risk of being used by someone.
Greeks call it a type of love that exists between Gods. A form of love that does not get influenced by your actions.
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If you think you can give unconditional and selfless love to someone, you are free to help those in need. You can also practice loving-kindness meditation.
6. Mania (Obsessive love)
If you can relate to “You are just obsessed with me, you don’t love me”, then you’ve found obsessive love. Greek termed this type of love as Mania.
This type of love can make a relationship complicated where the feelings get imbalanced, and one of the partners becomes obsessed with the other.
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Recognise why you are clinging to the other person. Communicate about your issues to your partner and let them know that you are facing something of this sort. Tell them that you need their help.
To love someone from the bottom of your heart, you need to first love yourself. There are healthier forms of love, and far better ways to nourish a relationship, then why choose this?
7. Philautia (Self-love)
Philautia is all about falling in love with yourself. However, there are two types of Philautia.
One is where you become selfish. You look only after your own needs, even if it is at the expense of others. You can be a narcissist or a totally self-consumed person.
However, in the positive context, you avoid being an ego-centric beast. You are just a human who loves yourself.
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Do not hesitate to indulge in a pamper routine to feel good about yourself. At the same time, understand that being selfish does not allow you to savor the most beautiful aspects of human life.
8. Storge (Familial Love)
Parental love can best describe this form of love.
As a parent, when you share a deep emotional bonding with your child, regardless of what they do, it is called familial love.
Yes, you may call this a deeper version of unconditional love, but this is more personal.
You can understand this type of love if you have a best friend. A best friend loves you unconditionally and understands every part of your personality without judging you.
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Let the past be buried, forgive your loved ones for any wrong they did in the past. Invest more in your relationship with your family members and friends.
Now that we know the different types of love, let us help you identify if what you are feeling is really love or not.
How do I know it’s Love?
Crush is temporary and very short-lived or sometimes even the first stage of love.
So, how would you know if you’re crushing on someone and loving someone? How do you know it is love? Let me help you out.
1. You feel nervous around them
When you are in love, everything around you feels just perfect and happy. Right?
But in your mind, you keep thinking what is the future of this relationship? Well. For those who want a long-term relationship out of this, the anxiety cannot pass by.
A piece of advice for those who prioritize love: Being all nervous is a part of the process. So, take a chill pill and go with the flow.
2. Day-to-day activities also feel new and exciting… with them
Love feels rejuvenating, every bit of it, every teeny-tiny moment.
Be it watching a movie, going out for lunch, spending time in the sports arena, or whatever.
Their presence is spellbinding. When you spend time with your partner, you lose track of time. It makes you feel new and intriguing.
3. Everything is effortless with them.
When you are with your partner, you both don’t need to find reasons to spend time with them. It should be effortless.
Even during an argument, you should set your pride aside and focus on resolving it.
But, even after all these, you still stick around with them because you know their absence will kill you. In fact, even the thought of staying away for some time scares you…
4. They are on your mind all the damn time.
Have you also felt yourself wondering about your partner all day long?
Well, Darling… Love can make that happen.
When in love, your partner appears in your dreams. You find yourself drooling over them.
You wanna talk to your partner all day long. Doing this just leaves you all excited and happy. They leave their imprints on your mind.
5. A little bit of jealousy is fun.
A little bit of jealousy adds fun to a healthy relationship.
You need that pinch of jealousy in your relationship to make your partner feel special and valued. But there is a thin line between jealousy and obsession.
Obsession is toxic… and when you continuously obsess on your partner, it will ultimately leave you both in a pit.
6. You pour unlimited affection on your partner.
Do you suddenly feel the urge to shower your partner with gifts? Such affection naturally flows out of love. You get all lovey-dovey and imagine intimate scenarios with them.
Affection pours out in various ways. It’s not just limited to holding hands while you both are together, it is also about being the emotional support when you both are away.
7. You want your family and friends to know them.
After reaching a certain level of understanding in a relationship, you would want it to last. You want to go all-in with this one.
You want to introduce them to your inner circle that includes your family and friends. You desire to make this work, and so you give it your all.
8. You can put yourself in their shoes
Love and empathy go hand in hand.
If you really love your partner, you will be sensitive about their needs, desires, dreams and even their accomplishments.
So, whether they finally secure a seat into their dream college or get an offer letter from their dream company, you both share the same level of excitement.
The same can be felt in case of some pain and suffering.
9. You can see improvements in your personality
You are starting to become a better person. You improve your habits and start taking up things they like.
Honestly, if your relationship does not motivate you to become better each day, it is not the right one.
Your partner also contributes towards your personal, professional, and overall growth.
When you are in love, you grow and nurture your bond together while also working on yourselves individually.
10. You see them as a part of your future plans
You’ve planned your whole future with your partner. They are your plus-one for life.
Planning a future together is a crucial decision in your relationship. If you plan to take this step, you need to attain that level of understanding and comfort.
You need to enjoy and find yourselves on the same page in life.
If you’re not in love yet… let me tell you some tips on…
How to Practice Love?
Love is rosy and blissful. But it is not always sunshine and rainbows. There are also thunderstorms and darkness.
Hence, it is necessary to practice love and pull yourself out of those dark cul-de-sacs.
Exactly why I’ve enlisted 10 creative ways for you to practice love and stay happy.
1. Give without conditions
“If thou must love me, let it be for nought.”
Have you heard these lines from Elizabeth Barret Browning? Well, this beautiful sonnet actually summarizes the meaning of love in an appropriate way.
When your love is pure, it is unconditional. Start accepting them just the way they are, and learn to love without expecting anything in return.
2. Create your own unique philosophy
Love does not come with a manual, nor does it follow one.
When you experience love, the philosophies you read before become useless. You make your own philosophy tending to your needs, desires and situations.
When you are ready to accept and adapt, love becomes easy. It’s all about making the decision to love your partner, everyday!
3. Start with self-love
I’m sure you know that practicing self-love is the best way of receiving love. When you can practice self-love unconditionally, only then can you love others.
When you are self-satisfied, you can satisfy others around you too.
Remember, you cannot pour from an empty cup.
4. Let them live their “own” journey
Do you know how helping a pupa out of a cocoon can prevent it from turning into a beautiful butterfly? It is the same thing here.
Growth is only possible when you allow your partner to go through their own journey instead of preventing them by acting as a shield.
Let your partner live their journey and don’t try to shield them. Instead, just be there by your partner’s side to support and motivate them through the dark days.
5. To err is human. To forgive is divine.
Do you know what is powerful and makes you strong? It is forgiveness. People often mistake this act as a sign of weakness, but it takes courage to forgive someone.
You can choose to hold your grudges for them and act like everything is normal. Trust me, this is utter bullshit.
Or you can choose to forgive them and move forward to a new journey of life. So, choose wisely!
6. Be empathetic towards others
Putting yourself in their shoes can help you understand the situation better. But as we know, it is a lot easier to speak than to implement.
If you develop this mindset in life where you can understand their pain and sufferings, you have just found the right track of life.
That is where you can love unconditionally and give it your all.
7. Embrace the authenticity of your partner.
You know nothing changes overnight. It is not some kind of hoodoo magic. You cannot change the behavior of a person in seconds.
When you wanna give your best shot, you will develop that all-giving attitude without wanting to receive something in return. If this is the case, then you, my friend, have found love.
The unconditional love and intention to give will pave your way for your journey ahead in life.
8. Spend time with your loved ones
One of the best ways of practicing love with your loved ones is to converse with them every day. Tell them how much you love them. This activity imbibes gratitude in a person. It also keeps them grounded.
Relive those old days by going on a nostalgia trip with your friends. Talk to your partner about how your heart skipped a beat when you saw them for the first time.
Tell your parents how thankful you are for them.
9. Listen!
Everyone can talk for endless hours… but only a few have the quality to listen and listen patiently.
It is extremely underrated but listening with undivided attention can actually make your partner feel special.
So, the next time you both are in the same room, allow them to vent everything… and pay attention to what they are saying.
10. Learn to Apologize
Sorry may seem like a small word but trust me when I say this: it has a profound impact on your partner.
It reflects that you will not allow ego to partake between you both… and also wouldn’t shy away from owning up to your mistakes.
You and I have skimmed through the ways of practicing love. But, here comes another question. What does love feel like?
I mean. There must be some guidebook to explain the general feeling that people experience when they are in love. Right?
Let us swish our magic wand and present you with some points on how people feel when in love.
Keep rolling!
What does love feel like?
Love is the tight embrace you were longing for till now, and it is the smile you have lost somewhere. It will be the faith that your heart restores when things do not go as per plan.
If you are still unsure about what love feels like, let me tell you.
1. You know it is not just lust.
You might confuse love with lust in the initial stages of your relationship. But, as you progress in your relationship, you will find that love is not merely physical attraction. It is way deeper than that.
Falling for her Shakira-like body is not love. But, getting mesmerized by the fact that she bites her nails when she is nervous is definitely love.
2. You are not afraid to take risks.
Love does not come with a guarantee card. So, in the end, it is about risking it all for someone you love.
You decide to lower your guards and be candid despite the possibilities of getting hurt.
Is this not what love really means? You know that a heartbreak could be just behind the corner.
Still, you take charge and decide to go for it. This risk is what adds thrill to the charm of love.
3. Your heart is at peace when you are around this person.
It is not always about the butterflies and that giddy feeling.
We all know that butterflies are a common scenario in love. You tend to feel excited when you are around the person you love. But this excitement usually lasts only till the honeymoon phase.
As soon as you get out of the honeymoon phase, you get familiar with a sense of calm. The presence of your partner fills you with peace. It keeps you grounded.
4. Your gut tells you there’s something more
Someone rightly said, when you know, you know.
Love is not your strategic master plan. You cannot execute it after evaluating the pros and cons with a detailed statistical report. It just happens.
But this does not mean that love comes easy or always feels positive. You might find a steep road filled with obstacles.
But, no matter what, you still go for it. You know in your gut that this is where you need to be.
5. You are filled with a sense of completeness.
Your better half should not literally be your other half.
You are not supposed to feel complete only in the presence of your partner. This is a hint towards infatuation rather than love.
Love happens when you feel complete with your own self. You embrace your individuality and do not desire validation to feel loved.
You are not each other’s halves. Instead, you are a team of two people who love each other unconditionally.
6. You feel ready to face life
Ever felt like somebody snapped you out of a daydream when the honeymoon phase in your relationship came to an end?
You are certainly not the only one, my friend. Many couples tend to go through this illusion-detox or disillusionment. This is the phase when you start noticing faults in your partner.
You either accept them for who they are, or you walk away. There are no different alternatives around it.
7. Your partner seems perfect despite their flaws
Have you made peace with their habit of munching potato chips loudly or leaving that wet towel on the bed? Congratulations! You have successfully fallen in love.
The secret to long-lasting love is nothing but acceptance. It is a choice that you make every day. You choose to love your partner irrespective of their flaws.
When you realize that your love for your partner is more valuable than their flaws, you know you have fallen in love.
8. You start believing in “forever”
Do you trust them with all your heart? Well, trust is the most significant factor in love.
If you know that thick and thin will not diminish your love for your partner, then you trust them deeply. You know that they are in it for the long haul.
But trust is not a one-day game. It takes years to win someone’s trust… It is a time taking process that can only be achieved with patience.
9. You feel you can conquer the world together
No storms seem threatening when they hold your hand. Right?
When you can stick with your partner even after the rough seasons, you can be assured you have found love.
Long-lasting relationships are all about making efforts. If your relationship is put to the test, you leave no stone unturned for your partner.
As you progress in your relationship, you will find yourself being armored with excellent conflict resolving skills. You can communicate easily with your partner.
10. You know that it’s not addiction, it’s attachment!
I cannot live without you! Or Your love is a drug! are some highly stereotypical statements about falling in love.
Love is not an addiction. You know that you and your partner are separate individuals. Staying without your partner will not break your heart into shambles.
You embrace your love, but you are not interdependent. This means your love for each other is unconditional, genuine, and pristine.
All that said and done, did you know love has some real benefits to your health… Let me tell you.
What are the positive impacts of Love?
Love is a feeling that cannot be expressed in words, yet some define it as an intense feeling of deep affection.
The heart is the organ stereotypically associated with love. But the brain plays an upper hand when it comes to love and feelings associated with it.
“Wherever you are, and whatever you do, be in love.” ~ Rumi, the following are 10 positive impacts of why you should be in love.
1. You experience bursts of euphoria and feel-good hormones.
Euphoria or ecstasy, in simple words, is a feeling or state of intense excitement and happiness.
It is the extraordinary feeling that you experience while spending time with your beloved or even by hearing their voice.
In medical terms, it is related to the hormone dopamine. It basically points at activities which give you pleasure like listening to some good music or taking a walk with that special someone.
2. The attachment makes you feel secure.
All I do, the whole day through, is dream of you.
All I do, since I met you, is dream of you.
These lyrics from Dream of You by Camila Cabello are perfect to explain the attachment in love.
Attachment is affection or sympathy for someone or something. You make efforts to keep them secure physically and emotionally.
It strengthens your bond with your other half and makes you feel comfortable.
3. You develop this willingness to sacrifice.
Sacrifice is often used as a synonym to love in the current era.
It is the act of giving up something valued for the sake of your love.
You might find yourself sacrificing more and more as your love deepens, and it helps you save your partner from being sad or stressed.
You would often go beyond your liking just to see them happy.
4. You’re happy throughout the day
Girl! when I am not with you… all I do is miss you
This song Paris in the Rain is an absolute reflection of what love does to you. Believe me, he was not exaggerating.
Commonly seen in movies and shows, when you are head over heels for someone, you have hallucinations all day in front of your eyes. They become in-charge of your mind.
This fills your thoughts with positivity and enhances your mood.
5. You say goodbye to stress
It is frequently observed that people in successful long-term relationships are healthy, physically and mentally, because of a lower amount of stress.
The happy and adorable moments spent with your beloved helps to release stress. You can think about new and good things.
Challenging tasks seem like a cakewalk because your brain knows they will always be there to support you.
6. Healthy jealousy makes you feel cherished.
Jealousy is feeling or showing a resentful suspicion that your partner is attracted to or involved with someone else. This leads to being fiercely protective or possessive.
If used wisely, jealousy is a magic wand to deepen your bond and attachment. Being jealous is absolutely normal and it may make your partner happy sometimes.
Your fear of losing them to someone else makes them feel treasured and valued.
7. You feel content
Love is not the panacea for all mental concerns and stress, but we can always regard it as an aid to happiness and contentment in your life.
It can make you feel as light as a feather and show you the most beautiful visions, like a magnificent sunset or a night full of shining stars.
It promotes happiness, and researchers have also concluded that people in love smile more in a day than as compared to singles.
8. You are more confident about yourself
The advantages of a healthy relationship are not just limited to romantic benefits… but also about helping you grow as a human and evolving into a better person every day.
It leads to healthier life decisions and fewer negative thoughts. Remember, you should feel worthy of all the unconditional love you receive from your near and dear ones.
9. You recover faster than ever
According to research, people recover as fast as triple times from illness, whether physical illness or external injury, when in love. As mentioned earlier, love keeps you happy and fit.
Illness not only affects you but also the people around you. Thus, constant support and trust provide you with the hope to pull through any injury and give impetus to active treatment.
10. Your life span increases.
There is no denial about the statement that being in love acts as a silver lining to living a longer life. Not just longer but a happier and content life.
It relieves your pain in hard times and pushes you to keep moving forward. It is also said that love boosts passion, all thanks to our superstar hormones, oxytocin, and dopamine. Hence, long live the lovers.
There are two sides to every coin. We cannot keep you in the dark by showing you only the bright side. Read on to know more about the dark side of love.
What are the negative impacts of love?
Love can be the reason you get up every morning. But it can also derail lives in unexpected ways if you are not careful.
It can create irreplaceable value in your life and be the center of our happiness. But it can also leave us with more harm than good.
As wonderful, uplifting, and fulfilling love can be,iIt also has its fair share of negatives. Here are 10 demerits of love.
1. It leads to poor mental health
Conflicts can turn a happy sustaining relationship into something sour. This can have a severe impact on the mental health of individuals.
Frequent fights, miscommunication, not being heard can inflict serious harm to your mental peace.
Harsh words, hostility can be harmful, and a blow to self-esteem has adverse long-term effects on your relationship with your partner. In the end, you might end up feeling devastated because of not finding love.
2. You have an irregular lifestyle
To incorporate their lives into your own, often both partners end up derailing their eating and sleeping patterns. Regulating these patterns is extremely important to help sustain the relationship.
The constant arguments can lead to various health problems like high blood pressure or higher blood sugar.
This irregular lifestyle and increased risk of diseases is a significant demerit of being in love. Love is beautiful, but it can also leave you in shambles.
3. It causes tremendous stress
Many couples report that the significant cause of their stress is their unstable relationship. A distressed relationship can overburden you with a plethora of psychological problems.
Conflicts are common in a relationship. But, unresolved conflicts are the dealbreakers.
If a couple does not have the initiative to resolve their differences, they can expect discomfort and abuse.
Abuse can be both mental and physical. Feeling immensely weak mentally, a partner might resort to self-harm techniques to escape the daunting reality.
4. Your productivity is reduced
If you are too involved in love, it can decentralize your lives and work schedule. You might constantly daydream about your partner.
Your partner might text you during your working hours. This can lead to a demotion in career prospects too soon, if not paid attention to.
If you are a student, you may notice that your concentration levels are compromised, and your focus is reduced. You might end up regretting your relationship as an effect of academic failure.
Sometimes we become too obsessed with romantic endeavors. This leaves little to no time for our social life.
Friends drift apart, and our lives revolve only around our partners.
With restricted social life, the onus of happiness is on your partner. This puts the entire burden of your happiness on your partner.
This is unfair and becomes a root cause of many uncertain and unpredicted problems.
6. You start losing your individuality
Portraying different personalities to please your partner can hamper your authentic self. You should not change yourself according to the likes and dislikes of your partner.
From the choice of clothes to the taste in art, you do everything keeping your partner’s preferences in mind. This can create chaos in your list of likes and dislikes.
Respect for each other’s taste is essential to be happy, and often, it is not found in the partnerships around us.
7. Unrequited love is painful
Love, when not reciprocated, can lead to extended painful periods of low self-esteem and confidence. It can make you question your own worth and leave you unhappy.
You might end up blaming yourselves for being good enough for that person. Self-hatred can quickly spiral into shattered confidence and dismantled mental peace.
It also leads to jealousy, anxiety, depression, and even makes people suicidal, in worst cases. It can take a toll on mental and physical health.
8. The jealousy involved can be too toxic
Too much of anything is harmful. I know we talked about how a little bit of jealousy can encourage a healthy relationship. But this is not the case when your partner becomes overly possessive.
Trying to show that you cannot lose your partner and cherishing them enough is one thing.
But, exploiting their privacy in the name of love is absolutely unacceptable. Such obsessive behavior can make your partner feel suffocated.
9. It can be very time-consuming
Love involves a significant investment of time. To maintain your attachment, you need to keep engaging with your partner in some way or the other.
Romantic movies and poems have raised our expectations regarding love. The amount of effort it requires can be exhausting for some people.
Spending hours sending relatable couple memes and cute pics or drooling over those couple goals situations are some examples of such time-consuming activities.
10. A break-up can leave you shattered
Breakups are difficult. Everyone faces some issues while coping with heartbreak at some point in their life. But some people find it impossible to get out of that pitfall.
People resort to activities like alcoholism and other addictions to forget the pain they are going through.
Some people believe that suicide is also an option to escape this unbearable pain.
If you are overwhelmed by the heaps of information and still clueless about attaining love, then do not worry. I have got your back. Listed below are some creative ways to cultivate love in your life.
How to cultivate Love?
Cultivation of love is the process of trying to acquire or develop some love for yourself and the cherished ones around you.
Similar to cultivating crops by providing nourishment to Mother Earth, you can also nurture love in your life by embracing yourself.
Now the question arises: How to cultivate love? Here are 10 ways to help you nourish love within yourself.
1. Unplug for a while and detox yourself.
Detox means a process or period in which one abstains from or rids oneself of toxic substances, just like social media.
Sometimes, you fall into the virtual trap for hours on end and miss crucial things in life.
The best way is to detox for 24 hours and restrict yourself from using any such device like phones, laptops, personal computers, or even television.
Take a walk and spend some time with your treasured one cultivates love.
2. Spend time reading a good book.
A bibliophile has an ocean of positive thoughts and goals in mind.
Reading a good book that you have been wanting to read for a long time or the one waiting at your side table will help change your perspective for the good.
E-books are certainly extremely popular nowadays but it can’t replace the essence of a physical book. Why not read a book and get the pleasure of the touch and aroma of pages?
3. Practice meditation for yourself.
Meditation is one of the most followed, still one of the most underrated concepts.
Meditation is a practice in which an individual uses several techniques – such as mindfulness, chakra meditation- to train attention and awareness, and achieve a mentally clear and emotionally calm state.
As mentioned, it is a practice and not a choice. It opens up your mind, and you will be able to feel yourself a lot more than before.
4. Know that you and everyone around you are worthy of love.
Self-love and self-worth are the two words that will take you to a better and desired place in life in the long run.
Ignoring toxic people is correct but always remember being too self-absorbed will not take you anywhere. People will like you more when you stand by them through thick and thin.
Remember, everyone is worthy of love… All you need is to have faith.
5. Listen about their day.
How was your day? This is a well-liked question these days. Not only by people who care about you but also yourself.
Carrying a gratitude journal or even a journal around will help you know yourself better.
Listening and paying heed to the answer and then analyzing it will make the difference.
It’s simple, the more love, support, and respect you give, the more attention and compassion you will receive.
6. Do not take your hands off them.
Haptics is a more technical way of saying this. But, the sensation of being supported, loved, and understood through touch is more cherished than mere physical contact.
A tight handshake rather than a flimsy one or a warm hug after a long day provides consolation and reassurance.
The more comfortable you feel around someone and being touched by them, the more spiritual and social healing you will experience.
7. Plan a game night with them.
No, it is not just about Christmas Eve or any day during the holiday season. It’s not watching sports on T.V. but the old school board games.
A good board game session like Snakes and Ladders or Monopoly with family or friends can refresh your mind.
This will ensure that your life is not just limited to digital screens… but you also spend quality time with your loved ones whilst doing some fun activities.
8. Bask in a pretty sunset.
Nothing can compete with a beautiful sunrise or sunset.
A mesmerizing sunset makes you feel grateful and helps you look at the bigger picture. These beautiful natural phenomena cannot be duplicated.
The beautiful warm hue of the sky will bring your heart the peace it desires.
A mind-blowing quote by Rumi goes:
Even After All this time, The Sun never says to the Earth,
You owe me.
Look what happens with love like that.
It lights the whole sky.
9. Be open-minded towards them.
Being judgmental means displaying an overly critical view. It prevents you from being empathetic towards genuine people.
It is nothing but a kind of jealousy… not just from others but from yourself as well. Some people oppose this statement by saying that it is observing and not judging.
But, observing can also be done in a pleasant manner. So, stop counting on the bad behavior of someone or others… instead, be a little less harsh and a lot more empathetic.
10. Embody love in everything that you do.
Loving what you do and doing what you love look alike, but not in the true sense. Loving each task you have on hand and doing it with your whole heart will make you practice acceptance in your life.
This makes your work more pleasurable, helps you cultivate love for every small thing, and partially control and simulate your life.
“By doing what you love, you inspire and awaken the hearts of others.” – Satsuki Shibuya
Wait! Hold on. Don’t you have more questions? Well, we have answered some frequently asked questions ahead. Scroll down for some clarity.
FAQs about Love
Love makes us want to cross mountains and jump oceans for your beloved. There is no destination, and there is no end. There is just movement. It is to become better and to do better.
So, here are some frequently asked questions (FAQs) to help you get a better understanding of love.
Some people say that Love is synonymous with human emotions like happiness or sadness. Others believe that this feeling is a cultural aspect partly driven by peer pressure and societal expectations.
With the help of some research, we found that love has a strong biological connection as it exists in every culture. It is human nature to seek or find love.
However, culture affects individuals in their thought processes, likes, and dislikes, ways of expressing love, etc.
Probably one of the most asked questions which have really complicated answers, no direct conclusions. This lasting forever thing totally depends on person to person.
In some cases, people find out that their partner is no longer the same person they used to know back then. This is why, eventually, they tend to move apart.
At times, it feels difficult to get going. You will not always be happy with each other. You might start getting bored in the company of your partner… once when you couldn’t get enough.
Things will get tough at some point but what if you both develop a deep connection, you will thrive through this phase as well.
Remember, an everlasting bond builds only when you believe in each other and commit to being with each other, forever.
So, Yes. Love does last forever.
The essence of love is so beautiful that it is almost impossible to define in words.
Love is when you are waiting for your partner’s texts anxiously. You start getting butterflies in your stomach with just a forehead kiss. You notice even the slightest change in their behavior towards you.
A feeling of not knowing whether you are in love is also Love. You know your love is real when it is felt and recognized by your heart and soul.
Basically, when your heart and soul approve of your feelings, you know that love is real.
As human beings, we all want to be seen or heard. We all crave love and affection, don’t we? No one wants to die lonely or live an empty life without happiness. Love is an emotion that fills the gap.
The need for love varies, depending upon the individual. People are different.
Some need several friends to communicate or have a daily conversation with their partner. Others are happy with their family and limited inner circle.
Anything more or less will not do the job for them.
Living life without any love or affection can cause a few problems, especially in teenagers or people in early adulthood. They start restricting themselves and don’t really socialize. In some cases, people also fall into depression.
So, for a healthy life, love is the most important thing for a human being. It helps a person to move forward in life.
You must have heard of love at first sight. Well. Yes, it exists. But is it the same for everyone? Does everyone fall in love in just a moment? Well, it varies.
For some, it may be a matter of one second, while for others, it might take months to fall in love.
It varies from person to person and the emotional sentiment in the relationship. There may be a moment or multiple moments in your relationship that made you fall in love with them.
Indeed, falling in love is a beautiful process but what’s more challenging is to stay in love.
It is common to fall out of love in a long-term relationship. But what is necessary is to understand that your spark will ignite again. It will last.
Looking for ideas to tell your crush that you’re in love with them? To start with, you should be prepared that it can go either way.
But, instead of being fearful, you should communicate your honest feelings and let them decide if they feel the same way.
Sure, they might reject you, but at least you will know their feelings.
Go somewhere with your significant other and convey your feelings openly.
A word from ThePleasantRelationship
Well, that is all that we had for you. Love does not know color, and it does not care about who you are. It does not understand numbers, and it does not care about status.
Love will hold the door for you but not let you leave. It will sit with you in silence and let you be.
It will shelter you from storms yet witness them with you.
When people run away, love will stay.
Love can be painful and hurtful sometimes, but tough times become great lessons, don’t they?
Love will look you straight in the eyes and acknowledge you just the way you are. It will propel you to be strong but also let you be weak.
Love, my friend, will keep sending reiterations just like spammy push notifications, engulfing you with warmth, reminding you that “Hey, you. Yes. You. You deserve all the good things in the world.“
Love defies all, darling.
