You must know about signs you are not ready for marriage – especially if your heart says something is off.
Marriage is one of the most significant steps of your life. It is a decision worth a lifetime. So, you have every right to understand your preparedness for this.
So, don’t let the indecisiveness grow, and understand your situation here!
25 Signs You Are Not Ready For Marriage
Often people get married because they feel tempted by the benefits of marriage. Or, they feel left out because their friends have even tasted parenthood.
However, such impulsive actions can lead to regrets in the long run. So, to avoid gruesome situations, check for these signs and act accordingly!
1. You are uncomfortable sharing your secrets
In a healthy marriage, two individuals love each other despite knowing each other’s deepest and darkest secrets.
So, if you are hiding significant things from this person, like a history of drug abuse, a former marriage, or huge debts you have to return, you aren’t ready for marriage. You fear they’ll judge you.
2. You lack proper conflict resolution skills
If you both don’t fight at all, don’t know how to do so constructively, or things flare up easily, you aren’t ready to get married.
When you don’t address grievances properly or hear each other out, resentment builds. And the marriage is bound to break.
3. You have only known each other briefly
In the first year of a relationship, people look at their partners through rose-tinted glasses. People believe their partners can never be wrong.
You figure out your compatibility only when the infatuation passes. So, you aren’t ready for marriage if you only know each other briefly.
4. Your values don’t line up
You aren’t ready for marriage if your values contrast with your partner’s. Otherwise, almost everything can lead to an argument.
For example, the two of you could have vastly different views on how you should parent.
5. You don’t know whether you are ready to settle down
Never get married if you feel that you aren’t prepared. Otherwise. you’ll end up having regrets for not taking more time to explore your desires and goals. So, fulfill your desires and play the field before you settle down.
6. You still live in the past
It’s a disastrous idea to get married if you still harbor feelings for an ex. You may think your feelings will disappear once you have settled down. But things can only worsen.
Make sure that you are entirely over and healed before you’ll walk down the aisle.
7. There’s no trust in the relationship
A relationship, let alone a marriage, can never survive without trust. Trust encourages you to be vulnerable with your partner and to believe in them even when things get tough.
So, if you cannot trust your partner, you shouldn’t get married.
8. You like them but aren’t in love
This person may make a good partner and parent. But you cannot possibly make things work in the long run if you don’t love your partner. In love, you’re ready to go to great lengths. If you don’t feel the same, you shouldn’t get married.
9. You cannot compromise
A healthy amount of compromise is necessary for the survival of a relationship. This develops compassion, empathy, and a genuine connection.
So, if you aren’t ready to make some compromises, you shouldn’t get married.
10. You’re marrying because all your friends got hitched
Probably, all of your friends are having babies, and you feel left out. But if these are your reasons, don’t get married!
Marriage is one of the most important decisions of your life, so don’t do it impulsively.
11. You are getting pressured
Get married only out of your free will. Don’t give in to pressure. If you tie the know forcibly, neither you are ready nor can you love or respect your spouse.
12. You aren’t sexually attracted to your partner
Without sexual attraction, your relationship cannot last. It’s an integral part of romantic relationships. So, there goes another reason to avoid walking the aisle!
13. You compare them with others
When you compare your partner with someone else, you disrespect their individuality. Moreover, if this happens all the time, you are unhappy in your relationship. Therefore, it’s not a good idea to get married.
14. You are more concerned about the wedding than the actual marriage
A perfect wedding is every individual’s dream. But that doesn’t mean you’ll be more concerned about the wedding than your union, each other’s finances, families, or your life together after marriage.
In this case, push the marriage to later. You’re not ready unless you know more about each other.
15. You don’t want children anytime soon
Some couples mutually plan not to have children. But if you alone want to wait for kids and haven’t thought about your partner’s thoughts on it, that’s another sign!
They may want kids pretty soon and not like the idea of “eventually wanting kids.” You may never want kids, and will only ruin your partner’s chances of having children.
16. You don’t speak each other’s love language
When couples don’t speak each other’s love language, it can only lead to a disastrous relationship. Because then they’ll never be able to understand their love for each other.
So, don’t get married if you don’t know or speak your partner’s love language.
17. You or your partner are battling addiction
Relationships are already a lot of work. Marriages, more so. So, it’s important to get married with a clean slate.
If you or your partner are battling addiction, it’s not a good idea to get married. Otherwise, it’ll lead to chaos like encouraging each other’s addictions and losing patience with each other.
18. You’ll have to give up on your social life after marriage
Marriage isn’t only a union of two people but two families. So, if you see that you have to give up on your friends and family while getting married, you shouldn’t get married.
Because it’ll leave you socially bankrupt with no support system.
19. You feel lonely
Don’t get married thinking you’ll feel less lonely with your spouse around. After all, it’s impossible for one person to eliminate your loneliness.
This may also lead to unrealistic expectations. So, get married when you are genuinely in love, not because you are lonely.
20. You are getting married to improve your financial situation
Initially, marriage was actually a financial institution in the first place. But nobody gets married for money anymore. Moreover, it’s actually looked down upon, and for good reasons.
After all, if your partner becomes bankrupt, that’ll mark the end of your marriage. So, if you want money, marriage isn’t your cup of tea.
21. You believe marriage will make you happy
A relationship should be the icing on the cake of an already fulfilling life. Not your sole reason for being happy.
Moreover, it’s not possible for a partner to make you happy if you are unhappy with your own life. So, leave marriage out of the equation if you are seeking happiness from it.
22. You just want kids
Even though having kids sounds like a good reason to get married, it shouldn’t be the only reason to do so. Your partner isn’t a baby-making machine. Your kids can’t improve an unhappy marriage, and you’ll only make them miserable.
If there’s no love in your relationship and the only goal is kids, that’s a bad idea!
23. You aren’t sure how to take care of yourself
If you want to make your marriage work, you need to know how to take care of yourself. Tough times come in every marriage. During those times, you need to take care of and protect yourself.
Otherwise, the bond won’t last, so there’s no point in getting married!
24. You don’t know who you are yet
You must know who you are before you get hitched. Otherwise, you cannot possibly know what you want in life or your motivation behind getting married.
So, figure out your identity and whether you can see yourself with this person before you get married.
25. You are terrified about the wedding
It’s completely normal to feel the jiggers before getting married.
But answer this: What are you afraid of? Are you just anxious about how the wedding will turn out? Or do you dread living your life with this person?
If it’s the second one, then you shouldn’t get married.
A word from ThePleasantRelationship
If most of these signs ring a bell, the situation is serious. You’re not ready for marriage, so you mustn’t take it as a child’s play.
But don’t blindly depend on the signs to make this big decision. Instead, take time to understand what you truly want.
Lastly, if you already have a spouse-to-be, communicate your feelings. Choose the best for your future with a calm mind, and you won’t regret your choices!
Are you interested to know more about ‘What is Oneness in Marriage’ then click here?
Surabhi wakes up every day with a drive to craft words that can create a soulful impact. Creatively adventurous, she is always seeking to learn new skills and acquire new experiences. With a hidden soft corner for languages (especially Urdu), she writes poetry occasionally, binges on romantic shows, and LOVES to talk. A hustler, admirer, chaser, Surabhi is just another-someone who refused to give up on her dreams. She says, she is just somebody who’s trying to make herself a writer and for now, she’s just writing...