Oneness in marriage is not an overnight trick but once achieved, a fulfilling marital life instantly follows.
Marriage is a sacred bond in Christianity, and it is the Bible itself which says that with marriage, the man and woman become one.
So read on to find out whether you already have oneness in your marriage, and if you do not, how can you create it.
What Does it Mean to Have Oneness in Marriage?
Oneness in marriage is not the typical romantic picture of a couple who cannot get enough of one another. It is mental intimacy that leads you to align all your goals and work towards building a dream life.
It is often accompanied by deep intimacy with your spouse, where both of you give unconditional love to each other. You believe in each other’s goals, your values, and find a common purpose for your union to reach oneness.
However, if you wish to achieve this, you must give time to your partner and get to know the “true self” of your spouse. This emotional attachment will help you value them and make your relationship stronger.
Every marriage is a union blessed by God, so to reach oneness in your marriage, you should find out why He brought both of you together. When you make His purpose the goal of your life, you will reach the intimate attachment that is called oneness with a spouse.
What Does the Bible Say about Oneness In Marriage?
Jesus talks about the sacred nature of the marital bond in the Bible in Matthew 19:6. As marriage is ordained by God, Jesus says that no one should separate what God has joined together.
In the Bible, in Genesis 2.24, the importance of a spouse is compared to the place of the parents in a man’s life. It says that a man has to leave his parents to be joined with his wife. This does not mean that he should abandon his mother and father, but it changes the priority of the people in his life. Your spouse has the supreme position in your life, according to the Bible.
A woman was a gift from God to Adam. When He gave him Eve [that is a woman], God told him that women were made from men, and He is gifting it to him as a person who shall be there for him. Hence, in women, men can see a fulfillment of their own self. Women are beings who look different but are intimately compatible with men.
What Stops You From Having Oneness In Marriage?
Oneness in marriage needs to be cultivated by both partners and if you’re unable to do so despite incessant efforts, here are some barriers that you must know about.
1. Others’ interference
You can always ask for advice from family, but if you let others poke their noses into your marriage, you will not be able to reach oneness with your spouse.
Even if you’ve children, you can’t let their responsibility overpower your married life and put your spouse in the backseat.
2. Mismatched priorities
When you have been married for a few years, it may feel like you have lost the spark you once had. This is not because the love has faded but because either of you have stopped prioritizing your spouse.
When you have not spent time alone with your spouse, it is natural to lose sight of each other’s goals and dreams.
3. Bad sexual compatibility
Bad sex will kill your marriage even if you have a great relationship.
When you are not having sex at all, or not giving attention to your partner’s pleasure in bed, it will eventually distance you both and the goal of “oneness” will be long lost.
4. Emotional unavailability
Emotional intimacy is the foundation of a marriage. You should trust your spouse more than anyone on this earth, and when you don’t do that, it blocks the synergy between both of you.
When you’re vulnerable with each other and don’t hesitate to share deep secrets, you build a healthy, long-lasting relationship. But if you don’t, you’re ultimately stuck in a hollow marriage.
5. One-way conversations.
It is very annoying when a partner refuses to listen to anything you have to say and ultimately creates resentment between both of you.
When there are unresolved negative feelings between two people, they will not be able to create oneness in their marriage.
How To Promote Oneness In Marriage? – 5 Ways
Oneness in marriage doesn’t mean that you and your partner must be a carbon-copy of each other, you both can be polar apart, but if you still find your way to each other – you’re on the right path.
But if you don’t, here are a few ways on how you can promote that.
1. Spend alone time with your spouse
Do not lose your relationship to your other roles: as parents or as children to your aging parents.
Plan small dates for each weekend, like a simple dinner, when you can freely talk to each other. Drop the kids to your close friend and spend a fun night with lots of sex. This will not only deepen your connection but also keep the flame alive!
2. Keep your calm when you disagree
Arguments are common among all couples, but you must keep your cool when you speak to your spouse. Blame games will not only harm your relationship, but it will also make your partner sour.
Always keep your head straight and choose your words carefully when you are presenting your side of the argument because, remember, it is not about winning or losing.
3. Do not take your family’s side without listening
You should never take your family’s side if they have argued with your spouse. This will create a distance between both of you that is difficult to bridge, as it will impact their trust in you.
If you have a situation where your spouse is truly wrong, try to make them understand calmly and remind them that you are on their side.
4. Support your spouse’s career
You love it when your spouse celebrates your wins at work, right? So, do the same for them. Always be mindful of your partner’s career goals and motivate them to achieve those.
Supporting each other’s goals will not only help you both outshine others professionally but you will also know that you have someone watching your back and feel safe in your marriage.
5. Do not hold a grudge
Your spouse is not your enemy, so do not hold their faults against them or use them as weapons in future arguments.
When you have already talked something out, let it go.
Your spouse’s mistakes might have hurt you a lot, but when you have decided to forgive them, you need to do it from your heart to nurture the oneness between both of you.
A Word from ThePleasantRelationship
Your marriage is a sacred bond that you have to protect. Just like watering a sapling is essential for its growth, you also need to give your marriage the nutrition to survive.
This nourishment will create a deep intimacy between both of you and help you align your goals to work as a unit. When you have reached this unison, you will be able to achieve oneness in your marriage.
Remember, no one is more important than a partner you’ve chosen to spend your life with, so take care of them and commit to this relationship wholeheartedly.
Are you interested to know more about ‘How To Deal With A Negative Spouse’ then click here?
Surabhi wakes up every day with a drive to craft words that can create a soulful impact. Creatively adventurous, she is always seeking to learn new skills and acquire new experiences. With a hidden soft corner for languages (especially Urdu), she writes poetry occasionally, binges on romantic shows, and LOVES to talk. A hustler, admirer, chaser, Surabhi is just another-someone who refused to give up on her dreams. She says, she is just somebody who’s trying to make herself a writer and for now, she’s just writing...