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How To Tell Your Boyfriend He’s Bad In Bed? 15 Tactful Tips To Make Him Understand

How To Tell Your Boyfriend He’s Bad In Bed? 15 Tactful Tips To Make Him Understand

Updated on Oct 03, 2023

How To Tell Your Boyfriend He's Bad In Bed 15 Tactful Tips To Make Him Understand

If you’re wondering how to tell your boyfriend he’s bad in bed, then you’re not alone. Many women struggle to break the word to their man because they don’t want to hurt them.

Usually, you can only solve the matter through clear communication. However, make sure you do it tactfully, or it might lead to misunderstandings!

So, let’s know all the little details here…

How To Tell Your Boyfriend He’s Bad In Bed? – 15 Tips

Sexual satisfaction is extremely important for a happy relationship. And if you feel dissatisfied with your man’s performance, the relationship may soon be overwhelmed with resentment and even infidelity!

So, before you guys take the wrong turn, resolve the matter ASAP with these steps…

1. Discuss things with your friends

You’re not the only girl with a sexually dissatisfying boyfriend. So, talk to your trustworthy girl friend or a sister. She’ll definitely have some ideas on her mind, especially if she has a man too.

She might have experienced the same. So, she can at least share a few things you must not do to avoid jeopardizing your relationship.

2. Reflect on your expectations

Before you talk to him, make sure your expectations are grounded. How do you want him to perform? Do you want him to have stamina and moves just like in porn?

If your only idea about sex is from the media, then you need to tone down your expectations. You need to get a reality check. Again, you can only get that if you discuss it with your committed or sexually active girlies!

3. Wait for the right moment

Take time to think about what you will say and why it’s important. Ensure that you fully understand your own feelings and needs. Find a private and comfortable setting where you can speak openly without distractions.

Before the conversation, try to create a calm and relaxed atmosphere. Don’t make it over dramatic. Remember, you’re doing this for both of you.

4. Tell him the truth with positivity

It’s not easy to tell your boyfriend that he’s not satisfying you in bed. After all, it is a sensitive and potentially hurtful conversation. But if you avoid it, it may lead to hidden frustrations and resentment.

So start the conversation by expressing your love and attraction to him. Avoid blaming or accusing.  Instead, focus on your feelings and desires. Encourage him to share his feelings and thoughts and be open to feedback.

5. Drop him some hints

No doubt, discussions about sexual desires and preferences help you grow closer. It will also make them aware of each other’s sexual needs.

If you’re not comfortable spilling the beans directly, give him hints. Suggest new positions or make him aware of your fantasies.

Offer concrete suggestions or ideas for trying new things in the bedroom. However, ensure your suggestions respect your boyfriend’s boundaries and comfort levels and take consent.

If he’s uncomfortable with a suggestion, respect his decision without pressure or judgment.

6. Reassure him

It will hurt him when he knows your troubles. So, reassure him during this conversation. This will help your boyfriend feel safe and loved. It will give him a sense of emotional security.

Make it clear that you are available and willing to listen to his thoughts, concerns, and feelings. Show how much his presence means to you in your life. Remember to help him build the confidence that he can fulfill your desires.

7. Be gentle

Being gentle will protect your partner’s self-esteem and avoid causing unnecessary emotional pain. Don’t be harsh while you confess. Even if you’re irritated, try to stay calm.

Your little emotional imbalance can lead to the wrong decision. Discussing sexual matters can be sensitive, so handle the conversation with kindness, respect, and empathy to maintain a loving and healthy relationship.

8. Tell him to explore new things

If you’re living together for a long time, you may get bored with the same position and routine. In this condition, you need to bring some spark to your sexual relationship.

Emphasize the excitement, pleasure, and intimacy that can come from exploring new sexual experiences together.

If your boyfriend is open to the idea, suggest starting with something small and gradually working toward more adventurous experiences.

9. But stay in your limits

Yes, you must ask for what you want. However, make sure you don’t overwhelm him. Ask him to only learn two moves at a time. Let him get used to the new things and only then request some more.

Take it slow so that you both enjoy the experience. Don’t overwhelm him as if it’s a race against time.

10. Avoid spilling the hard truth right before or after sex

After sex, many people feel relaxed and content. Conversations about stressful or challenging topics can have the opposite effect and lead to anxiety.

On the other hand, a discussion right before sex is also undesirable. After all, this is often when both partners want to focus on physical and emotional intimacy.

And a serious or emotionally charged conversation can disrupt the mood and ruin the experience.

So plan your conversations more appropriately, like during a relaxed dinner or a designated “relationship talk” moment. This creates the space and opportunity for a calm discussion where you’re both focused.

11. Lead by example

Convince him to role-play and be dominant. You can teach him through your efforts to make him feel heavenly sensations.

With your performance, you’ll indirectly confess how he’s in bed and how to make you orgasm.

Do all those things that you want him to do. This will also work as a guide for him. Let him know the difference between just having sex and doing it with passion. He’ll realize where he’s lacking and try to put the same effort in his turn.

12. Discuss your likes before coming to bed

Communicate your desires and preferences to let your partner know you better. Ask him to do according to your liking, increasing the likelihood of both of you experiencing greater pleasure.

Use clear language when expressing your desires. Honesty and clarity in communication will ensure your partner understands your needs correctly. If not, he won’t be able to satisfy you.

Frame your desires mostly in a positive manner. Don’t talk too much about your dislikes. Instead, focus on what you enjoy and want to explore.

Make plans in advance to avoid dissatisfaction.

13. Appreciate whenever he does right

Appreciation can boost your man’s confidence and make him feel valued and desired.

So provide positive feedback immediately when he does something you enjoy in bed. You can do this through verbal cues, moans, or encouraging words.

Make sure you are specific about what your partner did well. Even if it sounds crude, it will be honey to his ears. He will have a better idea about which moves work for you.

14. Don’t fake in the bed

Whether you fake your moans, orgasms, or reactions, none of that is healthy for your sexual satisfaction.

Rather, it can lead to miscommunication. He may believe that what he’s doing is pleasurable for you when, in reality, it’s not.

This prevents him from learning what genuinely satisfies you. This can also lead to long-term sexual dissatisfaction.

After all, he’ll believe everything is going well because of your faking. So, he won’t try to improve his skills or explore new adventurous things to improve your sexual experiences.

15. Seek your performance review

Don’t assume that you satisfy him real good in bed, either. Perhaps your style doesn’t suit him at all, and he’s just kept silent to avoid hurting you.

So, ask him if you have been satisfied in the bedroom. Be open to constructive criticism and find what works for you both.

A word from ThePleasantRelationship

While having this conversation or trying new things out, you both will learn many things about each other.

If you notice that both of your sexual needs, preferences, and desires are fundamentally incompatible. That’s when things can get difficult. In such situations, participate in couples’ workshops or read books on improving intimacy.

If everything fails, consider consulting a therapist specializing in sexual health and relationships. They’ll provide expert advice and create a safe space for you and your boyfriend to discuss and work through your concerns.