There’s no ready-script that you can follow for how to say goodbye to someone you love.
So how do you navigate the end of a relationship with your “forever person” – someone who isn’t supposed to go anywhere? They were our ride-or-dies. Our partners in crime. Our come-hell-or-high water. Our lobsters.
Even though it is a hard pill to swallow, sometimes a goodbye becomes inevitable no matter how much you try to prevent it.
…and I know how difficult it is to do that. That’s why in this think-piece, I have enlisted some 20 ways to help you.
Let’s get started…
How to Say Goodbye to Someone You Love? – 20 Ways
How do you say goodbye to the person you thought you’d have by your side for the rest of your life? If this question has been on your mind for some time now and you still cannot find a way to do it; do not worry, you’re not alone in the struggle.
There are things you can do to draw your relationship to a close in a healthy way, heal from the loss, and move forward with an open heart. Let’s see how!
1. Be sure if you really want to
Before you say goodbye to someone you love, be sure that you really want to do this. Make sure you do not make a decision in the heat of the moment. Clear your head and think it through thoroughly, as many times as required.
But only break up if you really have to or really want to. If this is about a small conflict that you two had, it’s better to sleep over it and then decide if you really want to bid them a goodbye!
2. Give a proper explanation
When you decide to bring an end to the relationship from your side, you need to make sure to explain your decision to your partner. Do not leave them hanging in doubt. They deserve to know the reason for this untimely end of your relationship.
Be straightforward. It will help them to take a lesson out of this breakup and use it for the better in their future relationships. For you, you will have nothing to hide, your heart and mind will be clean and set free for good.
3. Do it face-to-face
Breakups are painful, but it becomes even more painful if someone breaks up over a text or an email. Do not be that person. Have some respect for the relationship and the person you are breaking up with.
Sit with them and tell them face-to-face that you do not want to go ahead with this relationship anymore. They will be hurt but they will still respect you for this courage to tell them in person that you do not wish to continue this relationship.
It is better to speak to them about this in a private setting but if you are afraid that they might get violent, it is better to choose a public place like a café to tell them “it’s over!”.
4. Be firm with your words
When you end a relationship or say your final goodbyes, things start to get difficult. The real test is to not let their emotions and display of hurt affect you in any way.
Once you have decided on this goodbye, make sure to not back out from your own words when they ask for a second chance or beg you not to leave them.
Tell them with conviction and affirmation that this is what you want and you would not change your decision for anything in the world. Send them a clear message that it is over!
5. No lousy moves please
Do not do anything that will take away the gravity from your decision to end the relationship. Refrain from movie dates, dinner dates and even break up sex. All these things only lead to reconciliation – something you do not want, right?
6. Stay away from social media
Do not use social media as a weapon to teach them a lesson or vent out your emotions. Do not engage in trash-talking about your ex on social media or tell the world about how wrong they were in the relationship.
Stalking them on social media and tweeting about them will only lead to a prolonged tussle and you will never really get the closure you need.
7. It will be a long episode
Realize the fact that it will not be an overnight incident. One fine day you wake up – break up and your world is all rosy again. No! That’s not how things will be.
It will take you some time, a long time perhaps, to get over the end of your relationship, the goodbye that you bid to the one you loved the most. So, be prepared to give yourself that time to grieve the end of a relationship.
Take your time to heal yourself of the hurt and the pain. Initially you will miss them so much, but with time, you’ll get over them for good.
8. Stay apart from each other
It is normal to want to meet or see the person you were in a relationship with.
Even if you have said your goodbyes, your emotions might try to manipulate you to jump at opportunities to get back together. But keep reminding yourself why you said bid adieu to the relationship in the first place.
This will help you stay focused on your decision and also get rid of any self-doubts.
9. Be ready for their reaction
The way people handle a breakup reveals who they really are. Some people deal with breakups maturely and calmly while others spew anger and frustration all over the place. Once you say your goodbye, expect the latter, the worst in every way.
They may shout and scream at you, blame you for everything bad that has ever happened to them and even stoop down to verbal abuse.
Do not reciprocate in any way. Do not even react to anything they say or do. End of a relationship means “the end”.
10. False hopes are a big no-no
When you say goodbye to a relationship, do not give yourself or your partner any false hope. For example, do not tell your partner – “maybe in future, someday we might get back together again”, or don’t say to yourself “if he becomes a better person, maybe I’ll get back with him again”. No!
False hopes for you as well as for them can prevent you both from giving yourselves the opportunity of a better relationship in the future.
You do not want someone to wait for you, nor should you wait for them in false hopes. Keep it simple. If it’s not meant to be, it is better that way. Do not over-complicate things with false hopes.
11. Write a note
This comes very handy for people who cannot express themselves well. So, if you are one of them, take a piece of paper and write anything that comes to your mind about this breakup.
Why you did it, how did it make you feel, how are you feeling now, if it has helped towards a positive change in your life and how are you going to go ahead from this point onwards.
When you write out your feelings on paper, your brain registers everything and you feel much lighter and more in control of your emotions.
12. Embrace the reality and the pain
When you say your goodbyes, it may feel good momentarily.
But once you get home and you realize you cannot call them anymore, or even text them – because things are over now – that’s when reality hits you like a brick in the face.
Don’t give in to the pain. Embrace it all and grow through it. Try to make a list of your “whys” – why you had to say goodbye to them and how it makes your life better now. It will hurt for a while but not forever.
13. Meet new people
Just because your old relationship did not work out does not mean you will never find love in life again. You just need to get out there and meet new people. Make new friends or even catch up more with your old ones. That will definitely help you get through the break-up phase with much ease.
Also, when you go out more often and see new faces, your mind will not be cluttered with the negativity of the past. Instead, you will be happier and embrace positivity in life. Who knows, you might even find the right person for you?!
14. Treat this as a lesson in life
Breakups are hard. But no matter how bad it was, or how hurt you are, take this relationship as a lesson. By now you know what went wrong in the relationship that led you to take such a firm decision for yourself.
Keep that reason in mind going forward and make sure to never repeat them in your future relationships.
15. Remember that things will get better
While you may feel that your whole world was crushed to pieces when you ended that relationship, it is not true. This is not the end of everything. You don’t even know what the future holds, no one does. Do not give up on yourself so easily.
You did what you had to do. It was non-negotiable for your happiness and mental health. Do not talk yourself down or ever doubt yourself. You know this is just a bad phase in your life and you can sail through it with grace.
So, give yourself enough time to grieve but also make sure to pull yourself up each time you fall to a negative thought about yourself. You got this!
16. Try to forgive wholeheartedly
No matter how badly you were hurt in the relationship, once you end it, forgive your ex for whatever wrong they might have done. You cannot really end a relationship if you hold any grudges towards your ex. It will always be alive in your mind.
Forgiveness opens up the channel to get over the relationship for good. With forgiveness, you permanently block all roads that connect to them in your heart as well as in your mind.
Along with forgiving your ex, forgive yourself too for anything you hold yourself responsible for in the relationship.
17. Destroy all evidence
It is always the best idea to get rid of anything that can remind you of your ex or the relationship you just said goodbye to.
It is difficult and you will probably be hurt during the whole process but it is better to be hurt for a short while than to lament forever.
Discard all letters, greeting cards, gifts and photographs. Along with this, make sure to clean your social media account –block their profiles from all accounts as well as delete their pictures from your profile.
18. Give yourself the closure you need
Sit calmly and remind yourself that it is over. You have said your goodbyes and there is nothing left in the past. Don’t hold on to that relationship.
Most importantly, do not seek closure from your ex because that will probably not happen and might open a path for reconciliation.
You need to give yourself the desired closure, or else you would not be able to move ahead with your life.
19. Remember that ideals are never real
Do not let your old happy memories fool you that your ex is a real nice person deep down inside or they are the ideal person when they are their best selves.
If they are toxic, you literally must let them go. It is better for you. You do not need to take up the responsibility to change someone for the better. That was not what you signed up for.
20. Focus on positive changes in your life
It is obvious to feel down and broody after a breakup. It is definitely a difficult time. But you must learn to get out of that slump.
Try to bring positive changes in your life like – spending time with yourself or watching a favorite movie; change your daily routine, work out more, travel, take up a new hobby, do something therapeutic and catch up more with close friends and family.
Do not give yourself the chance to dwell in the past at all. Pull yourself up and embrace all the positivity that you can find around you.
How to say goodbye to someone you love on texts? – 10 Ways
Not everyone has the courage to end a relationship face-to-face. While it is not a very healthy choice to break up over a text, that is unfortunately the next best option, you know.
We do not endorse or support goodbyes over texts but we do have a few tips for you to follow if you really have to break up over texts. Read on for 10 tips to follow when you say your goodbye to someone you love via text messages.
1. Do not use emoticons
Keep your text message simple and formal. Avoid the use of emoticons as they tend to take away the seriousness out of the message you want to convey. Just stick to words. Also do not crack jokes in your goodbye texts.
2. Keep it short
Do not send a lengthy text message stating all the reasons why you don’t want to date them. Be upbeat, friendly, and stick to the point.
Something like – “Hi [your ex’s name]. I know it’s difficult to say goodbye but I think it’s time we brought this relationship to a close.”
This way you can be polite and respectful but still make it crystal clear that you don’t want to be with them anymore.
3. Re-read the text before sending
Always recheck your messages before you send it out. Autocorrect can be notoriously annoying at all the wrong times.
So always re-read all the messages to make sure there are no spelling errors or grammatical mistakes to avoid any misinterpretations of the text message.
4. Avoid the usual cliché
Do not write the same old boring reason that it’s because you are incapable you are breaking up with them. It makes the other person think that you did not think this through and you just want to get rid of the relationship.
Instead try to be more respectful and write something like, “We both did our bit to make this relationship work. But I really do not see a future with you anymore. So, it is best that we part ways for good.”
5. Keep it very straight forward
When you say goodbye to someone for good over a text, you need to be loud and clear.
For example, the text could read something like, “I do not think we are compatible enough and this relationship has no future. I think we should better go our separate ways.”
6. Take full responsibility and spit it out
When you say goodbye to a love for good, it is always a better idea to take ownership of the act and state clearly that you want to end it to avoid any mixed signals.
For example, the text could read something like: “Hey (your ex’s name), it has been such a good time with you. But I do not feel a romantic connection with you anymore. Please don’t get me wrong but I do not want to continue this relationship any longer.”
7. Do not leave any room for opportunities
Be firm with your words when you send out a goodbye message to your loved one. Make sure your words make it clear that you want to end the relationship for good and that there is no hope for any change of mind in the future.
You can send something like, “Please know that as I write this message, I have already given this a proper thought and I want to make it clear to you that I do not want to go ahead with this relationship. I am breaking up with you.”
8. Communicate the exact reason
When you leave someone, make sure you let them know the exact reason why you are breaking up. If he was rude to you or had verbally abused you someday, spit it out to them.
Send something like this: “Please know that I’m no longer okay with you treating me so bad and disrespecting me every day. This is over and so is this relationship.”
9. Watch your tone in the text
Be mindful of your approach in your text messages. Never accuse the other person or blame them for the breakup. Instead always mention that it was because of you both that the relationship did not work out.
For example, “You and I have drifted away in different directions and that has impacted the relationship. It would be better if we bring this to a close while we still can, in a respectful way.”
10. Do not give them false hopes
Do not send out texts that give false hopes to the other person. Like never say, “I’ll think about it after I return from the business trip.” Or “You’re right, I should probably give it another thought. Give me some time.”
Always send direct and clear messages. If you give them false hope they will come back over and over again until you give them a proper closure.
A word from ThePleasantRelationship
Goodbyes to a loved one are always difficult, whether it is over a text or face-to-face. You should try to fix the problems before you decide to bid goodbye to your love, your heart, and soul.
But if your partner is abusive and makes you do uncomfortable things, it’s time to end the relationship.
Be honest about your feelings and take responsibility for the end of the relationship. As difficult and hurtful as it may seem in the beginning, you will realize that you made the right choice.
Surabhi wakes up every day with a drive to craft words that can create a soulful impact. Creatively adventurous, she is always seeking to learn new skills and acquire new experiences. With a hidden soft corner for languages (especially Urdu), she writes poetry occasionally, binges on romantic shows, and LOVES to talk. A hustler, admirer, chaser, Surabhi is just another-someone who refused to give up on her dreams. She says, she is just somebody who’s trying to make herself a writer and for now, she’s just writing...