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How To Politely Reject Someone For A Date? – 20 Ways To Not Hurt Them

How To Politely Reject Someone For A Date? – 20 Ways To Not Hurt Them

Updated on Sep 18, 2023

How To Politely Reject Someone For A Date - 20 Ways To Not Hurt Them

A wonderful person asked you on a date but now you want to know how to politely reject someone for a date?

You feel extremely guilty and even considered going on this date. But you know you don’t connect with them. And it might also make things complicated later.

So, here is your guide to turning them down for good here!

How To Politely Reject Someone For A Date? – 20 Ways.

It takes a lot of courage to ask someone out, so acknowledge that. And, it’s always better to turn someone down before the first date than waiting for the second one. At least, you won’t lead them on!

With these, you will naturally be kinder while turning them down. But there’s more, so keep reading to find out!

1. Ask yourself why you are rejecting them

Before you go on and reject someone for a date, make sure you know why you are rejecting them in the first place. 

Is it because you don’t see them romantically? Or do you want to keep your options open? Is the timing bad, and you want them to wait for you? 

Whatever your reason might be, remember to be honest with yourself

2. Don’t delay too long

It’s okay to take one or two days to answer. But when you make them wait longer than that, it can get frustrating for the other person. 

Since you already know the answer you will give, don’t let them stew in suspense. Muster the strength to be honest about your feelings, meet up, and tell them how things are. 

3. Prepare a clear rejection

Don’t go on a date with them just to be nice and be prepared with a clear rejection. Think about what you will say, don’t overthink things, and reject them firmly yet compassionately. 

4. Say it face-to-face

Often, people reject others over text or phone calls, as they are much easier. Well, that works, but if you want to be polite and compassionate, a one-on-one meeting is better. 

You can then gauge their reaction while speaking and measure your words to minimize the blow. It also shows them you respect them enough to say things in person. 

5. Consider if you want someone as backup

If you know them pretty closely, you can meet them alone to reject the date. However, if you’re not familiar with this person, it’s wise to keep a friend or two on standby.

Whether you’re a man or woman, it never hurts to be extra cautious in today’s world. However, make sure this person can’t see or recognize your buddies.

6. Don’t use attacking language

One cardinal rule of rejecting someone politely is to not make the rejection about who they are. 

You don’t need to be unnecessarily hurtful and comment on things that they can’t change about themselves. Don’t make any remarks on their appearance, occupation, or level of education. 

When you reject someone, you often leave them with feelings of inadequacy. So, when you make it personal, you double the blow.

7. Notice if they are going through a tough time

Rejection can make things worse for someone going through a tough time. So, be sensitive, and ask them if they need any help. Try to avoid saying anything that can trigger negative emotions in them.

8. Give them your complete attention during the exchange

To reject someone politely for a date, give them your complete attention. Ask them to talk about the feelings that come from the rejection and empathize with them as much as you can. 

Listen to what they are saying and refrain from using any cliched lines. 

9. Be honest with your answers

It can take a lot of courage to ask someone out. So, the least you can do is to be honest with them. 

A simple ‘no’ is always far better than a whole barrage of lies. Don’t make excuses, and don’t lie about your relationship status or your sexual orientation. 

10. Leave no room for ambiguity

Just like you have every right to reject someone, you have no right to give them false hopes. So, even if you want to reject them politely, make sure that your answer is a clear “NO.” 

Do not create unnecessary doubts in their mind by giving an open-ended rejection. 

11. Share the reasons when it’s someone you know

It’s not necessary to give reasons if you are rejecting someone you do not know personally. But if it is a colleague, a neighbor, or a friend, chances are you want to maintain a good relationship with them. 

So, you need to honestly tell them why you think things won’t work out. 

12. Praise them for their good qualities

Make sure that you highlight one or more of their good qualities. Praise them for their strengths. Give them something to cheer up about and be confident.

13. Always be firm

A lot of people, especially women, soften their language while declining a date. They might say things like, “I’m not sure.” 

Such language often leaves room for misinterpretation. So, to decline someone for good, you need to be firm about your decision.

14. Say that it is a personal failing

One of the classic ways to reject someone politely is to be diplomatic. Tell them that you are rejecting them for your own personal reasons. 

When you say that “it is me, not you,” you get to decline them without hurting them. You might even jokingly tell them you are known for not recognizing a good thing. 

15. Explain to them that the timing is not right

Everyone goes through stages in their life when they are not interested in dating anyone at all. You want to be left on your own and get over your previous relationship before jumping into the next one. 

So, another way to politely reject someone is to tell them honestly that it is not the right time. You want time to make sure that you are emotionally ready for a relationship or even dating. 

16. Make sure that you thank them

It takes a lot of guts to ask someone on a date. So, it is clear that they must have waited for weeks before finally asking you out. 

So, remember to thank them, even if you refuse them. You cannot negate that it is always flattering to be asked out on a date, no matter what your answer is. 

By thanking them, they’ll feel valued even if you don’t go on a date with them.

17. Don’t apologize

It’s good to be polite when declining a date, but that does not mean you have to apologize. Remember that just like their emotions are valid, yours are too. 

You have every right to be not interested and say no. So, don’t put yourself down, or they might assume you’re in the wrong!

18. Value your friendship

Disappointing someone is never easy, especially when it comes to someone you care about as a friend. You don’t want to lose someone in your social circle. 

So, give them the space to show their feelings. Tell them that you appreciate their courage and vulnerability. Make them feel heard and seen. Remember that even a rejection can be kind. 

19. Go off contact for a while

Some people keep in contact with the other person to be nice after the rejection. This doesn’t let the other person understand that you’re not interested or they have zero chance. Eventually, they might ask you out again. 

To avoid going in circles, stop the casual texts and calls. If you see them regularly, don’t talk to them like usual. Let them know that the most you can offer them is friendship. 

20. Try redirecting their attention

An almost game-changing way of rejecting someone is to redirect their attention. Make them realize there are other fishes in the sea. 

Sneakily tell them that one of your friends is single, and ask whether they want you to set them up. This could reduce the hurt that the rejection might cause. 

A word from ThePleasantRelationship

Of course, it’s never easy to reject someone’s offer to take you on a date. After all, you don’t want to be the reason for someone’s pain.

But it can’t be helped when you’re certain that things won’t click. The least you can do is to stay respectful and make the blow easier on them. Pave the path with compassion but firmness and they’ll get over you soon!

Are you interested to know more about ‘How To Date Your Best Friend’ then click here?