How to be single… and happy?
I know why you’re asking this. The recent breakup has really hit you deep and you’ve forgotten how to live all on your own.
The lonesome and gaping heart is consuming you.
Even though this single-hood was never a problem until this person entered your life… Now you have suddenly lost the way ahead.
These breakups often leave people scarred. The despair is so difficult to cope with, that many swear by never entering a relationship or building walls so high that no one can knock it down.
This happens only when you forget the crux of life: Among all the important relationships that you share with others, the most important relationship is the one you share with yourself.
To live a happy life, you just need to make this relationship stronger.
Don’t worry, you don’t need to do it all by yourself.
I am all at your service!
How to be happy single? – 30 ways
So, you are not able to spend your time all by yourself and feel happy about it?
What if I tell you that for me the time that I spend alone is the best part of the day. People call it a solo pamper routine.
And look at you… Honey, I understand that you are feeling lonely in your life and you need a partner to share your life goals. You are not alone.
But hey, do you really think all singles need a company to feel happy? Maybe you’re right. But only when they are not aware of the tricks to living a happy single life.
No, I’m not talking about any magic mantra or a complicated chemical formula!
No, you don’t need to find a partner if you want to live your best life.
To live your life to the fullest, all you need are these 30 tips:
1. Accept who you are
It is very natural for you to feel rejected and inferior if you have been a part of a bad relationship.
No matter how many times you are being told that the reason was you, you simply need to stand up and say: NO IT WASN’T ME!
They must have tainted your self-esteem. It must be getting hard for you to accept who you are… All because they did not accept you.
But let me tell you: You’re the best, and the only one.
So, the first step towards a happy single life is to accept yourself, with all the strengths and flaws.
2. Remind yourself that you ONLY need yourself to feel complete
Let thousands of people reject you. You must not be waiting for anyone else’s validation except your own.
Don’t look out for external support if you feel broken and hurt. Learn to pick yourself up and get back to the drill.
Never leave yourself alone… not for one day or even one minute.
3. Love yourself wholeheartedly
If I ask you what true love is all about, you will say faithfulness, trust, respect, unconditional care, and support.
Yes, you are absolutely right. But do you invest all of these emotions for yourself? What I am actually asking is: do you love yourself truly?
If you do, would you let your love cry or feel lonely and sad? No, absolutely NOT.
So, why now? Love yourself wholeheartedly and make yourself happy.
4. Ask yourself out for a date!
Now that you are truly in love with yourself, don’t you want to take yourself out for a date? Buy yourself that beautiful dress, you’ve always wanted to flaunt.
Groom yourself in the best way possible and book a table in one of the most happening restaurants in town.
Now, glam up and show up!
5. Compliment yourself
You must have your own preferences when it comes to dressing, perfume, footwear, voice, skin, figure, and so on. Start complimenting yourself on these features.
Maybe the next morning you can stand right in front of your mirror and praise everything that you see.
“Oh you’ve got good skin!, “Your figure is perfect!”…
6. Have a self-care regime
Your self-care does not have to be about skincare or a workout routine. It can be anything that makes you feel pampered and taken care of.
But what the modern world perceives self-care is by taking care of your body and soul. Practice meditation and focus on your needs.
What do you like? What makes you feel happy? What makes you sad? Learn about yourself and create your own self-care routine.
7. Be friends with single people
I am not asking you to depend on someone in the name of making friends. But when you put yourself out there, befriend single people.
They can be a boost to your support system. You will be able to relate to their daily-life stories. As a result, your discussions are going to be more heartfelt and realistic.
8. Enjoy spontaneous and thrilling activities
You can always make spontaneous plans and trips for yourself. Just like you do to surprise the ones you love. Don’t you?
Maybe you can try fun activities where no one is judging or watching you. Be a kid who is always on the lookout for new, adventurous ways that bring him joy.
9. Reset your goals
I’m sure you had your goals… until this person entered your life and your whole focus shifted.
Don’t worry, now is the time to reset your goals. Try to eliminate all kinds of external influence and distraction and make your own decisions.
Whether it is a financial or personal goal, make a list of everything that you want to achieve…. And start working on it, NOW!
10. Don’t chase a relationship status
What makes you chase a particular relationship status? What’s wrong with being single? Why do you need to update your relationship status at all?
It is your life and you have complete freedom to explore the world alone.
Stop pressuring your real-life relationship status for the sake of social media updates.
12. The past is a lesson
Let the past be buried but not the lessons that you have learned from the past. I know it’s easier said than done.
But hey, you gotta try at least.
So, take the past as an opportunity and don’t repeat the mistakes that were once committed in the past, that’s it.
13. Declutter your head
You have been through so much that your head really needs a declutter. All the memories of this person, the ugly breakup, the time spent… occupy a lot of space in your head.
You faze out, fail to focus on work, and sometimes also fail to carry out day-to-day tasks diligently.
All this happens so unconsciously that you hardly get the time to direct your thoughts.
So, take this moment to empty your head and find a new way ahead.
14. Open doors for new opportunities
Learn to accept whatever life throws your way, be open to everything. You have so many better opportunities coming your way – accept those opportunities with your arms wide open.
Meet new people and understand that each of them is unique in its own way. Learn to accept different perspectives of life and embrace them.
It will not only make you have a humble personality but also open new doors for you.
15. Reflect on your identity
Take some time to evaluate your position in life. Where do you stand financially and career-wise? If you think you need to make serious improvements then friend, it’s time that you buckle up.
Because the world is running really fast.
And it’s not easy to make your position rooted in the fast pace in the world. So, when you have got the opportunity to focus on the important aspects of your life, you don’t want to let go of them, right?
16. Let money buy you happiness (at least sometimes!)
People and relationships might come and go. But branded clothes, Swiss watches, or even premium experiences like one night-stay in Burj Khalifa will stay… at least in your memories.
While the whole world will not stop saying money cannot buy happiness. There are a few things which only money can buy.
So, let loose for some time and Splurrggeee… buy all that you want till your bank balance permits!
17. Go on solo trips
Booking tickets, packing clothes, meeting strangers on the way, visiting new places, resting in hotel rooms…. All these experiences add up to the feeling of freedom and exploration.
This is going to be a great period of rejuvenation. Try new foods, new clothes, and visit new places… all at your convenience and likings.
Because you are on a solo trip and you don’t have to adjust according to anyone else.
18. Spread positive and good vibes
I am not going to ask you to surround yourself with positive people. Of course, you are supposed to do that. It is more important to emit good vibes.
Spread positive and optimistic thoughts so that you can add some happy moments in the lives of people around you. They are going to love your company if you radiate positivity.
19. Grow your contacts
Generally, experts miss on this advice. But I’ll tell you this is as important as any other advice on the list to make you self-sufficient.
Build contacts with strong personalities who’ve got valuable positions in society so that when you are in need, you know who to go to.
20. Childhood friends are there!
Well, why don’t you catch up with your old childhood friends because they are the ones who really know you?
Let’s just all admit it, apart from family, friends are the only ones that make you feel at home. Don’t they?
But hey, you should know who is really worth your time. You don’t want to face heartbreak once again.
So, call up your school buddies, and make a plan for Friday night. Unwind, chill and reminisce on your childhood memories.
21. Your career is important
Well, now that you are single…. Instead of just cursing yourself that you made a mistake by getting into a relationship, why don’t you focus on your career?
Take some legit action towards your dream that you have been seeing in your bed all day, all night.
22. Enjoy your single-ship
Enjoy being single! Now that you are single you have all the time in the world and you are completely free to do whatever your heart desires.
This singlehood is a blessing on a kind, but only if you know how to look at it the right way.
So, carve out the passion inside you and try to cultivate them in this freedom. Don’t restrict yourself to anything.
23. Appreciate what you’ve got
Just look around you… you have so much more than the most.
So, take this time to be grateful for what you’ve got and let go of all the complaints. Remember, every minute in your life is a precious gift so live it with grace.
The more you appreciate the more this life will seem beautiful to you.
24. Believe in the perfect timing
Time is the most important thing in this world. Everything has timing. Just because one wrong thing happened in the past, doesn’t mean that the universe is not looking after you.
You need to believe that there are many good things coming for you in the near future and they have their own perfect timing.
All you have to do is wait… and keep the faith.
25. Look at the positive side of the coin
There are two ways to look at life – the glass is half-empty or the glass is half-full.
Learn to look at it like the latter. Optimism is extremely underrated and the benefits, less-discussed about.
You can’t enjoy the best moment of your life, because you feel miserable about your existence. So, learn to look at the positive aspects of your life and I promise, happiness will follow!
26. Invest in your family
Family and friends should always be your first priority and now that you are stuck in this rut of loneliness and despair, it’s a great opportunity to give time to your family and friends.
Don’t forget to tell them how grateful you are for their presence in your life.
27. Believe in yourself
I know it’s hard. Really hard… especially when you’ve faced a betrayal from the one person you loved the most.
But that doesn’t take away the honor from your achievements, the glory from your struggles, and the determination from your goals. So, remind yourself of this and get back up, this time stronger than ever.
There is nothing that you cannot do if you believe in yourself.
28. Calm down!
Most of us are always on the edge and full of an adrenaline rush when we are in a relationship. Otherwise, why do you think, just one text from that special someone makes you so jumpy and excited?
But now that you’re single, there will be less anxiety in your heart, it will prove beneficial for your physical health as well as for your mental peace…. But only if you let it!
29. Protect yourself
Today, you’re in this difficult space because of someone who took advantage of your vulnerability, I’m sure you never want to experience this EVER again.
So, choose wisely when you let someone in. Make sure they are there to stay… for all valid reasons.
And if you know that there are any toxic people in your life, don’t hesitate to cut them off, because your mental health should be your first priority.
30. Don’t invest too much in relationships
Now that you know that you are your ONLY support system, understand that nobody else is going to back you when you are hurt. You need to do that yourself.
So, don’t indulge too much in romantic relationships unless you are 100% sure about the investment.
Emotions are the most precious investment you can make, so make sure you test the waters before you take the dive.
See, I told you, it’s not difficult to start your life all by yourself and enjoy being single.
But besides the tips above, you’ve got some don’ts too that you need to avoid to live a happy single life. So, let’s not delay any further and quickly find out what they are!
What to avoid to stay happy single?
No big deal if you can avoid a couple of habits that do nothing but leave you in distress and agony.
If you are single and happy, then to continue your inner peace, here are the things that you need to avoid:
1. Don’t compare yourself
I know the pit in your gut when you see a happy couple walk down the street or post mushy pictures on social media.
But here’s the truth: no one’s life has been easy. Everyone has been through this phase at least once before they finally found their happily-ever-after.
Like you, everyone else also has their own struggle, choices, and life journeys.
So, don’t look around, be happy in your world and celebrate it. Don’t let someone else have more power in your life.
2. Avoid negative surroundings
The first thing that you need to get straight is that you’re answerable to no one except yourself.
You’re in charge of your own world and it’s you who will decide what kind of relationship status you want for yourself.
Never let society influence your decision. If you want to remain single, live life happily. Nobody matters.
3. Don’t get affected by toxic opinions
Why do you want to be around people who make you feel embarrassed about your own opinions? Understand that this world is full of negative people; you need to learn to avoid it.
So, if you’re faced with any toxic opinions, simply find the exit door and move out.
Do not give a damn about their so-called advice or opinion. You know what is better for you and your mental peace. Follow that.
4. Never commit if you are not sure
Never commit just for the sake of commitment. After all the journey you have gone through, you know what you want from a relationship or what are your limits.
This world is full of sweet talkers and studs, you obviously wouldn’t want a relationship that will leave you in this position, yet again.
So before jumping off to the bandwagon, ask yourself twice if this is the thing you were looking for… because in the end, it’s all about what YOU want!
5. Don’t jump too long
Most people are afraid of pushing the boundaries and others are afraid of being in line. Both are wrong. You need to learn to balance.
This universe is full of beautiful things. You just need to push yourself into exploring these things and I assure you you’ll be the happiest person alive.
It just needs one right and daring decision to make your life much more beautiful than you had expected.
In this quest to find yourself you may meet something that you have always desired.
6. Don’t let adversities stop you
Forgive and forget – is not just a phenomenon but a mantra that you need to remind yourself in every stage of your life.
Never let a simple downfall or blunder become a roadblock to your happiness. Learn from your past mistakes and never repeat them in the future.
Remember, it’s better to be a fool for a day than for the rest of your life. Celebrate your early consciousness and move ahead merrily.
7. Nothing is impossible
It always depends on your life approach. If you think that it’s impossible then you will never see the face of success.
In a relationship too, if you truly want to invest in someone, then go for it. You don’t always have to think about the worst. You may not know what the universe had planned for you.
8. Don’t believe in the social media facade
If you want to find the real definition of love, then look around you. You may find it in between your grandparents or your parents.
Those are the real love ideals that you want for yourself, not what you see on your Instagram feed.
Today’s gen is so blinded by the social media façade that they fail to see what goes on behind the scenes.
The so-called couples give you a vague and false impression about love on social media and in reality, they might be the real example of toxicity. So, it’s better you do not let such drama influence you in any way.
9. Never judge yourself
It’s okay to feel this way though, but what is not okay is to let that feeling impact you. Sometimes the real problem is not the society but you.
You start judging yourself. This is where things begin to get negative thoughts surrounding you.
Count on the good things that you are blessed with instead of regretting what’s happened in the past. You can be in charge of your emotions; you don’t need someone else to do that for you.
So, buckle up and start doing things that make you happy.
10. Don’t lose trust in the Almighty
Oftentimes, the line between love and infatuation is blurred. You may fall for every next person you lay your eyes on and that is very natural.
Sometimes things work out if you give it a chance and sometimes, you succumb to the pain.
You may curse yourself at the moment or even the creator but trust me when I say this, everything happens for a reason – EVERYTHING.
You may soon find the underlying reason and realize how you have been saved from bigger troubles.
11. Don’t be thankless
Be thankful. No matter what. If you’re standing here today, reading this, you have a lot to be thankful for.
It’s not that in a relationship you are bound to suffer, but suffering often follows love.
If you truly love someone, their mere ignorance or disappearance impacts and hamper your life to the core. You are left heartbroken.
So instead of crying over these stupid things, thank your destiny for keeping you away from them.
12. Don’t rush, there is no hurry
Avoid any sort of rush. Wait until you find the right person who is in it for the long haul.
It might take longer but you are aware of the fact that the longer things take to work out, the best you get.
13. Don’t make presumptions
Instincts can be deceiving sometimes. You may think that this is right for you and you have been looking for this but don’t vouch for it unless you’re absolutely sure.
You have to spend a long time with a person to know their right intentions. Faces lie, remember. Be careful with your decisions, and don’t depend on your assumptions.
14. Don’t find your happiness outside
You may follow all the tips in the list and do everything else that your friends suggest and still feel lonely.
Because as long as you’re finding happiness outside, nothing in the world will matter. You need to first find some peace within yourself.
Remember, everything is psychological.
15. Don’t fear loneliness
Why is being single or being alone such a big deal?
When it is really a new experience… and a beautiful one!
Meet new people, understand their journey, learn from their story, try new foods, and get yourself out for an adventure.
Being single is not a challenge dear. In fact, being single is an opportunity. It all depends on how you perceive this phase of your life.
If you’re yet not convinced with the idea of living a single life, then probably the next topic is going to make you believe what I say.
Benefits of being single
You must have seen people craving an adventurous life and thrilling experiences. I am not saying you can’t experience this without a partner, you can.
But when you do it all by yourself, the fun and the learning are different – absolutely different!
Here are some of the many benefits of living a single life… that I’m sure you’re unheard of.
1. You don’t rely upon external source for happiness
Most of us often put ourselves in a situation where we totally depend on external factors to determine our inner happiness.
But singlehood allows you to spend more time with your friends and family, who love you unconditionally. This makes you realize how much you matter to them.
This single life makes you realize that you are the reason for your own happiness and strength. You get to know that you can make sufficient changes in your life, all by yourself.
In fact, you can also influence the life of others. You are worthy!
2. It makes you strong – mentally and emotionally!
When you commit to a relationship, you have this urge to share everything with your partner. In the lieu of this, you may forget to celebrate the strength that lies within you.
Some people accept and embrace “couple” life, and there’s nothing wrong unless it goes wrong.
But, when you’re single, you have so much time to work on yourself and enjoy every bit of yourself. You learn to tackle your issues alone and gain control of your life individually.
When alone, you are bound to do things that help you build a strong personality. You are able to own your decisions, step out of your comfort zone and be responsible for your actions.
3. You grow as an individual
When you’re single, you get ample time and space to become the best version of yourself. You get an opportunity to develop and build an individualistic view of the outer world.
Whatever you think, do, or believe is your individual thought. It’s unalloyed and uninfluenced.
4. No one can play with your mental peace
A good relationship may not hamper your mental peace but one bad relationship can. It can simply mess up with your overall health – physical, mental, or even emotional.
So being single will give you an opportunity to relish a stable peace of mind without any external impact.
Let’s admit it: Sometimes mental peace is more important than any kind of companionship.
5. You’re free and independent
It’s obvious that in a relationship you need to adjust to certain things. You need to also cater to your partner’s needs and preferences.
It needs consent, trust, and loyalties to proceed.
But when you are single, you are independent in every way… you don’t have to seek permission or even tend to their desires.
6. You get time to pursue your passion
I am sure you have a bucket list that you want to tick off – we all have.
When you’re in a relationship, after the whole day at work, you don’t get much time to think about your passion because you have a person waiting to go back to.
But as a single, you are free to pursue all your hobbies or even make it a full-time job.
If you love cooking then you can cook your favorite dinner and savor it all…. if you love driving then go for long drives alone… if you love hiking then you know the mountains are calling you. No one is going to stop you.
Get up and do things that you have always wanted to do.
7. You can focus on your body needs
Your body has certain needs that you often tend to overlook in a relationship… because you have only 24 hours in a day.
But now that you are single, you have enough time to practice self-care and understand what your body needs.
You don’t have to look after others’ needs or desires. You can pick and choose your priorities.
8. You don’t depend on someone else for sexual pleasures
Okay here’s the thing, when you are in a relationship, you have to depend on your partner for sexual pleasures. You can’t seek pleasure anytime you want.
But what happens if you’re single? Well, mate, you’re free to do everything to satisfy yourself – at any time of the day!
Masses at large believe that single people are excluded from having such pleasures. But that’s not the case. NOT AT ALL. In fact, singles enjoy sexual pleasure more than a person in a relationship. They can have orgasms anytime they want without depending on others.
9. You are free to hit on new people
A relationship does not give you the freedom to hit on new people, but being single-dom surely does. You’re no more answerable to why you left hints for the girl you met in a bar or the boy you saw on the streets last night.
You can meet with them multiple times and decide whether or not you want to take this forward. This will save you your inner peace and heartbreak.
10. No one can distract you from your career
Relationships require a serious commitment.
Sometimes, they don’t allow you to focus on your career due to the emotional investment your relationship demands.
Let’s be honest and accept that the amount of seriousness that you invest in your relationship can bring about drastic improvements in your career.
So, now it’s time to focus on your goals and make a foolproof Plan-of-action achieve them.
A word from ThePleasantRelationship
Look, honey, failing is inevitable. You cannot escape the setbacks that life tries on you. But you can choose to be strong in these phases.
If you have faith in the Almighty, you don’t need anything else. If you don’t believe in His existence, then believe in yourself. This is the best way to live a happy life, single!
Most importantly, if you still hate being single, nobody told you that you are going to live single all your life.
Never doubt what is waiting for you… hope for the best, as the best is yet to come.
Surabhi wakes up every day with a drive to craft words that can create a soulful impact. Creatively adventurous, she is always seeking to learn new skills and acquire new experiences. With a hidden soft corner for languages (especially Urdu), she writes poetry occasionally, binges on romantic shows, and LOVES to talk. A hustler, admirer, chaser, Surabhi is just another-someone who refused to give up on her dreams. She says, she is just somebody who’s trying to make herself a writer and for now, she’s just writing...