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First Date Kiss Or Hug? Make A Choice With 20 Pros And Cons

First Date Kiss Or Hug? Make A Choice With 20 Pros And Cons

Published on Nov 28, 2023

First Date Kiss Or Hug Make A Choice With 20 Pros And Cons

If you’re wondering what’s better on a first date kiss or hug, you’re not alone. Most people feel torn between the two. This is because – as per their own or others’ experiences – different dates expect different things from you.

One may expect you to maintain a respectful distance. The other thinks you’re boring if you don’t kiss. So, let’s decode this mystery once and for all!

10 Pros & Cons Of First Date Kiss

A kiss on a first date is pretty forward. It makes the bond fast-paced but also ignites desire in both. But before you make a move, let’s weigh out the positives and negatives here…


1. You can figure out if there’s chemistry

When you kiss, you get to understand if there’s a spark in your connection. This helps you understand whether your date is into you as much.

If there’s no chemistry, the kiss won’t feel nice, and your date won’t reciprocate. This is an indication that pursuing this partner won’t be fruitful as deep inside. there are no strong feelings.

2. You let them know you want another date

Without a kiss on the first date, many assume that the other person isn’t interested at all. After the date ends, they ponder hard on whether they can land a second date at all. Even if there was a chance of connection, they gave up!

3. It helps you get serious if you guys are familiar

If you are friends who started dating, a kiss on the first date is a great way to confirm things. This can be a nonverbal deal that you’re on the same page and are ready for a life-long commitment.

4. An awkward first date kiss can be cute

If the kiss turns awkward, it’ll show that both of you are excited and nervous. You care enough about your performance.

It also shows that the awkward kisser is inexperienced but trying hard. This can ignite deeper feelings and lead to something serious.

5. It creates anticipation for later

If you’re dating to get laid, a smothering hot kiss can leave you and your date wanting more.

This is great to create anticipation for when you actually start doing the deed. The painful wait from the kiss until you get a room will make things intense.


1. You may overlook red flags

If you get intimate too soon, your emotions and judgment about the other person get clouded with desire. So, you may overlook serious red flags and signs of incompatibility.

You won’t be in the right mind to assess your date for their true personality.

2. It shows you want to sleep around

Instead of a slight peck on the lips, if you go in for an open-mouthed kiss, it’ll imply you want to get laid. If your date is conservative, they’ll feel unsafe. Your date may even assume that you do this with every other date without real feelings. This will turn them off.

If your date is of the player mindset, they might guilt-trip you into sleeping with them.

3. You risk getting diseases

This is one of the greatest reasons behind not kissing on the first date. If it’s the very first time you’re meeting this person, kissing is a bad idea.

You don’t know what germs they’re carrying around. They might have done the nasty before coming to the date or even have STIs.

4. Your date may not be big on kisses

Some people aren’t enthusiastic about kissing. So, if your date is the same, they’ll feel awkward and have a bad impression of you. They might endure it just momentarily and never text you back once the date is over.

5. You may skip important relationship stages

To build a relationship, you need time and effort. You need to go through all the stages of a relationship to make it everlasting.

However, if you skip right to the last step, you will lose the chance to know each other. The relationship will be pretty superficial.

Now, let’s know what happens if you hug…

10 Pros & Cons Of First Date Hug

Your other choice, a hug, is a warm option to get close to your date while not being too overpowering. While it seems to be the safer idea, this, too, has both good and bad impacts. So, let’s get started.


1. You form a connection

A hug on the first date is not too much or too little physical contact. It’s just enough to create a sense of intimacy with this new person. 

It’s a great way to break the touch barrier, other than holding hands. If your date reacts warmly to it, you can understand that there’s a connection.

2. It shows you’re interested

Not everyone can verbally communicate that they’re into the other person – that too on the first meeting itself. After all, that sounds too forward. Your date may think you just want to bed them.

But a hug conveys your interest nonverbally. You don’t seem too enthusiastic about a sexual connection, but you want innocent physical proximity.

3. It can calm your date

If your date is jittery and clumsy, they might be nervous. This also makes them feel embarrassed. They overthink and can’t even focus on the date.

In these situations, a hug is the best way to calm them down and convey, “It’s okay, I’ll be patient.”

4. It sets a positive tone

If you give your date a friendly and not-too-intense hug at the beginning of your date, it can create a positive impression.

You’ll appear friendly and open to them. They won’t feel intimidated and can be themselves around you. This will make the remaining date fun with a sense of familiarity.

5. You become memorable to your date

If you want to make a strong impact on your date, a hug can help! Since it’s neither too subtle, like holding hands, nor too forward, like kissing, your date sees you as a well-mannered person.

You’ll stay on their mind even after the date ends, and you may land that second date!


1. There might be some boundary issues

Different people have different cultural and religious beliefs, comfort levels, and personal boundaries. Thus, everyone has a different definition of acceptable physical contact on a first date.

Your date may feel that you’re violating their boundaries if you don’t take consent and naturally lean in for a hug.

2. There’s a chance of misinterpretation

For you, a hug might define interest and warmth. But for your date, it might imply a lack of interest or just a friendly gesture.

Or, your date might even think you want to be serious with them.  Like all nonverbal communication cues, misinterpretations are normal in hugs, too!

3. They may feel pressured

Whether you just hold your arms out or lean in for a light hug, your date may feel pressured to reciprocate the action. They might get uncomfortable and won’t be able to say anything about it.

They’ll think you like to take the lead without considering others’ feelings. Even if the date continues, they’ve already rejected you in their mind.

4. It spoils the mystery

Some people like to progress naturally in romantic relationships. They want to develop a stronger bond over time. They prefer to enjoy the mystery and anticipation during the early stages of dating.

So, a hug on the first date seems rushed and spoils the pace of gradual growth. They may feel turned off by your actions.

5. Things can get awkward

If your date doesn’t want to hug you, they may reject you. This will create a bad aftertaste and affect your entire date. You will feel embarrassed, and there will be more awkward silences. It’s hard to fix the atmosphere after that.

A word from ThePleasantRelationship

There are equal pros and cons of both hugs and kisses on first dates. However, if you have to choose either of them, hugs are much more common because the negatives are much less intense. So, you have much less to lose from hugging on the first date.

But in the end, it completely depends on your decision and bond with your date, whether you want to go all in or not. So, think rationally and choose the best move!