Think you’re a biromantic? Perhaps you feel immense love for people of different genders? Or someone said that you’re bisexual, but it’s nothing about sex?
Great job reaching this think-piece… because you’ll find everything about your romantic orientation here.
Of course, there’s not much intel about romanticism out there… and possibly, you doubt your feelings right now.
Hey, don’t put yourself down yet… because I know your feelings are real… and I’m glad you cared enough about yourself.
You’re not alone who feels like this… there’s a whole world out there who feels just like you.
Don’t believe it? I’ll soon spill the secrets to meet your world… so let’s skip down to…
What is Biromantic?
Someone who experiences romantic and emotional attraction towards people of more than one gender is called a biromantic. The term biromantic doesn’t tell about a person’s sexual orientation.
If a person develops a romantic attraction to people of multiple genders, he/she identifies as biromantic.
The literal meaning of biromantic stands for bi: two, romantic: feelings of love and affection.
Many have the misconception that the bi in biromantic stands for male and female only. However, gender isn’t binary anymore… it’s more than just men and women.
The people who identify themselves other than male and female are nonbinary. It’s an umbrella term for transgender, agender, bigender, pangender, genderfluid, etc.
So, being biromantic and bisexual implies that you can be romantically and sexually attracted to people of multiple genders respectively… even for nonbinary.
But, a biromantic person might not be sexually attracted to them… because it’s more about the emotional connection between two people, not the sexual drive.
So, biromantic people might not always lead their object of affection to bed… and that doesn’t imply they don’t love their partners.
But how is it different from being bisexual? Let’s know from…
Biromantic vs Bisexual
Biromantic people feel a purely romantic or emotional bond towards multiple genders. And bisexual people experience sexual attraction towards multiple genders. A person may or may not be both.
Some people believe that sexual attraction is normal towards your romantic partner. However, romantic and sexual attraction doesn’t always happen simultaneously.
People often misconceive romantic and sexual attraction as the same or use the words interchangeably.
Contrarily, biromantic people specifically feel romantically attracted to people of multiple genders.
Biromantics want to spend more time with people of multiple genders, go on dates, hug or cuddle them.
If you feel emotional and physical intimacy, but no sexual attraction… you’re biromantic only. It’s about your ability to build emotional or romantic relationships with people.
On the flip side, bisexuality emphasizes more on the sexual desire in a relationship and not the romantic connections.
It’s not necessary a biromantic person will be bisexual or vice versa… but it’s possible.
Similar to bi- and pansexual, people also confuse bi- and panromantic. To know more about your or a loved one’s identity, know more from…
Biromantic vs Panromantic
Biromantic people experience romantic attraction towards multiple genders, not all. Whereas gender identity doesn’t impact the romantic love and affection of panromantic individuals.
The difference between biromantic and panromantic is very similar to that between bisexual and pansexual.
A bisexual person can feel sexual attraction to more than two genders, but a pansexual person feels sexually attracted to people of all genders.
Similarly, a biromantic person feels romantically attracted to more than two genders… but not necessarily all.
For instance, biromantic people form a romantic relationship with specific gender identities only.
Contrarily, a panromantic person can feel romantic attraction to all genders, i.e., gender identity doesn’t matter to a panromantic.
So, “pan” in panromantic implies “all” and it might suit people across the vast gender spectrum better.
Certain people prefer to use only either term which implies they might not be attracted to some genders… and others use both terms to identify themselves.
Curious when it all started? Let’s know more here…
The term “biromantic” was coined between 1995-2000 and first printed in a 2005 news article about the asexual community. Numerous romantic orientations were coined after the term “aromantic”.
Many opine that the term biromantic was coined in the late 1990s, i.e., 1995-2000. However, the term was first used in a 2005 news article about asexual people.
Possibly, this term first appeared around 2005 in the Asexual Visibility and Education Network (AVEN) forum boards
Urban Dictionary added the first definition of Biromantic on 20th April 2008. The meaning referred to the split attraction model.
According to some, between 2005 and 2010, there appeared a term for people who don’t feel romantic attraction at all – aromantic.
That was the beginning of the formation of different kinds of romantic orientation… one of them was biromantic.
The wide variety of labels helped both sexual and asexual communities to identify their different romantic and sexual orientations.
So, what is it like to be biromantic? Let’s know about it from…
Characteristics of Biromantic
Different biromantic people have different desires for romantic connections… Their definition for bi can be varying combinations. For instance, a biromantic person might be romantically attracted to
- Males and females only – not non-binaries,
- Males and non-binaries only – not females,
- Females and non-binaries only – not males,
- Males, females, and specific nonbinary identities only
- Only non-binaries – not binaries, i.e., males and females, or
- All possible gender identities (pansexual)
Biromantic characteristics for each and everyone out there are unique… but there are some common feelings you might relate with as a biromantic, like…
- When it comes to dating and commitment, you don’t care much about gender identity,
- You wanted to make romantic relationships with different gender groups, and/or
- You never expect a prospective romantic partner of a particular gender.
Wondering if you’re biromantic? Lead yourself with these…
Signs you’re biromantic
Romantic and sexual orientation is no more binary. Whether society accepts it or not, the world is way beyond binary orientation.
However, hardly enough research was conducted for the biromantic community.
So, we have only a few known signs of being biromantic here…[Hint: The first two signs are compulsory, the last isn’t]
1. Gender doesn’t stop you from crushing
Until now, did you ever have a crush on more than one gender? Or were your crushes and romantic relationships always with one gender?
If you have a crush or are engaged in romantic relationships with different genders in your life, that’s the most basic sign of being biromantic.
As a biromantic, you’ll feel a strong romantic and emotional connection to more than one gender equally.
2. Sexual attraction isn’t a necessity for you
Romantic and sexual feelings or attraction aren’t the one and same.
Romantic attraction is more about how your heart yearns for a person’s presence in your life. It’s a pure feeling… an emotional connection without anything more.
On the other hand, sexual attraction is about satisfying your carnal desires. You can’t feel satisfied with holding hands and cuddling alone.
When you engage in romantic relationships, do you focus on building deep emotional connections?
Biromantics always prefer to bond emotionally with more than one gender.
Sexual attraction may or may not be present in your biromantic relationships because you’ll prioritize emotional intimacy more than sex.
3. You’re keen on ethical non-monogamy (ENM)
Some biromantic people feel more comfortable and free to express themselves when they date multiple people with different gender identities simultaneously… which directs them to ENM.
Biromantics might feel that exclusive relationships restrain them from exhibiting their romantic feelings to people other than their partner.
Or, they simply feel happier to form multiple romantic relationships with different gender identities simultaneously. However, this is not a necessity to be biromantic.
So, you might practice monogamy and still be biromantic.
If you’re biromantic, let me tell you there are so many myths this world has created for you. So, it’s time to bust a few…
Myths about Biromanticism
Despite the support of science, the LGBT community still faces lots of stigmas… further for romantics, it’s even more. People deny the existence of romanticism due to inadequate research.
But hey… next time someone says something absurd about how you swing, know how to answer from here…
Myth 1: Biromantic monogamists don’t exist
You might prefer romantic relationships with one person at a time despite their gender identity.
Another person might prefer multiple romantic connections with people of different gender identities.
Both of you are biromantic… There’s no hard-and-fast rule about monogamy and nonmonogamy about biromanticism.
Your relationship dynamics depend on your desires and comfort. So, practicing monogamy doesn’t invalidate your identity as a biromantic.
Myth 2: Biromantic isn’t a real identity
Many people don’t accept biromanticism as a valid orientation because of unawareness or stigma against it. People also misunderstand the meaning of the term.
Binary genders and relationships between opposite binaries are the most widely known identities.
So, unaware people easily ignore the validity of biromantic… even though it’s been around for over a decade.
Myth 3: Biromanticism is only a phase
Some people believe biromanticism is a phase… as if the person is rebelling against social binary gender identities and relationships.
They think they’ll get bored being biromanticism and return to society’s mainstream… which is completely false.
Romantic orientation isn’t something you can change willingly. Your biromantic orientation might be a permanent thing or change with time.
Also, you don’t move on from biromantic orientation because it’s a phase… it’s because your views and opinions develop with time.
Think the world’s recognition isn’t important? This will change your mind…
Why is it important to recognize biromanticism?
Some biromantic people give up on the idea that this world will ever accept or recognize them.
It’s because they’re tired of justifying their romantic orientation. They feel it’s better to hide their presence than face daily disrespect.
But it’s important to fight for your rights… and know why here…
1. It helps you identify your romantic needs
Recognizing biromanticism lets you understand how you really feel about your partners, what you want in your sexual relationships, or even what pleases you sexually.
In that case, not just biromanticism, it’s important to recognize all forms of romantic orientations possible in the world.
2. It can promote health studies on romanticism
Romantic connections help you nurture your soul. In a romantic relationship, you feel a certain kind of peace, however, what backs such an idea? It’s only a feeling.
There is hardly enough research on the benefits of romantic attraction.
And unfortunately, none based on the health advantages of biromantic connection… acceptance of biromanticism might promote that.
3. It can combat bierasure
The LGBTQ+ community suffers from various social stigmas… bierasure is one – an inclination to ignore the validity of bisexuality.
Bierasure led to various negative health impacts on the bisexual communities. Biromantics might experience the same… however, lack of research doesn’t validate such assumptions.
4. It might improve healthcare for bi community
The lack of research can’t confirm the lived experiences of the biromantic community.
Without proper research, people who stigmatize it will never accept this community’s health issues.
So, further research can help improve healthcare facilities and special interventions they need.
5. You’ll lead a healthier life
Last but not least – when the world recognizes and accepts you for YOU… and doesn’t whisper behind your back… you’ll ultimately feel a lot happier.
Due to social stigma, many biromantics might fall prey to depression, anxiety disorders, or even hypertension.
When humankind learns to accept everyone as they are and supports them, biromantic people will find a healthier life.
Though the romantic orientation of biromantics is clear, know their possible sexuality here…
Biromanticism and Sexuality
Though sexual and romantic orientations are usually the same for most people, you might be an exception.
And that’s natural because romantic feelings deal with your emotions, and sexual ones deal with your preferred sexual partners.
You might feel sexually attracted to one gender and romantically attracted to others.
Therefore, a bisexual person might not be biromantic… and a biromantic might prefer any binary or non-binary sexual orientation.
When a person feels romantically and sexually attracted to distinct gender identities, it’s called cross or mixed orientation.
Since the word biromantic only describes your romance with others… there’s something called biromantic sexuality to specify the sexual orientation of biromantics. Let’s find out the different types…
1. Biromantic asexual
These include people who feel romantic attraction towards more than one gender, however, they don’t feel any sexual attraction at all despite the gender.
Such people commit to relationships but there’s usually no sexual interest in any particular gender.
However, biromantic asexuals don’t abstain from sex… rather, their serious relationships or choosing dating partner never depended on sex. They have sexual desires but no sexual attraction.
A common misconception: Sexual desire and sexual attraction are the same.
It isn’t! Sexual desire depends on your feelings to have sex. Sexual attraction depends on the gender of sexual partners.
So, the definition of biromantic asexuality changes from person to person.
2. Biromantic demisexual
For a demisexual person, a romantic connection is a must to feel sexual attraction towards a person. Demisexuals believe in having sex only with the person they are in love with.
Open relationships without love or one-night stands don’t work for demisexuals.
So, a biromantic demisexual feels a romantic connection with multiple genders… and builds a sexual relationship with one or all of their romantic partners only.
Also, biromantic demisexuals might take long before building deep emotional bonds… and only then do they include the sexual component in their relationship.
Contrarily it doesn’t define if you will feel sexually attracted towards all your romantic interests.
Here, the depth of a romantic bond plays a significant role in sexual attraction.
3. Biromantic heterosexual
A biromantic heterosexual can have romantic feelings for multiple genders, including the same gender… however, they can feel sexually attracted to the opposite gender alone.
For instance, a biromantic heterosexual man can love a man and other genders… but feels sexual attraction towards a female only.
4. Biromantic homosexual
Conversely, biromantic homosexual refers to people who develop romantic and emotional bonds with multiple genders… but experience sexual attraction for the same gender only.
For example, a biromantic homosexual man might fall in love with a male, female, or even non-binaries simultaneously… but feel sexually attracted to men only.
5. Biromantic pansexual
Next, biromantic pansexual people experience romantic attraction to certain gender identities only (not all)… but there’s no bar in sexual attraction.
For instance, a biromantic pansexual man can fall in love with males, females, and transgenders only. However, they feel sexually attracted to every possible gender identity.
6. Biromantic bisexual
Lastly, a biromantic bisexual refers to people who experience both romantic and sexual attraction to people of multiple genders.
However, this doesn’t imply whether the genders of their romantic and sexual interests coincide or not.
For instance, a biromantic bisexual man might build emotional bonds only with men and transgenders, but feel sexual attraction towards females and genderfluid only.
Or, a biromantic bisexual male has romantic connections with only men and women… and only have sexual connection with women and agender.
Depending on different possible biromantic bisexuality combinations, mankind can further define new sexualities.
Worrying if biromanticism can impact your relationship? Let’s know more about it…
How does biromanticism work in relationships?
A biromantic monogamous relationship is no different than a regular one. A polyamorous biromantic one includes relationships with people of multiple genders. However, always date someone who accepts and supports you.
Biromanticism doesn’t impact the intensity of your romantic feelings, your relationship style, or any partner’s heternormative beliefs.
Only when you’re aromantic you’ll not feel love for your partners.
Being a biromantic, your monogamous relationship is similar to any other traditional or heterosexual relationship.
However, if you’re polyamorous, you might be in consensual relationships with multiple romantic and/or sexual partners simultaneously.
Some usual challenges of biromanticism are being judged and misunderstood by ignorant people – who don’t know or don’t want to know about biromanticism.
But the world doesn’t go easy on your community, so hold on to your beliefs. Never yield to someone else’s beliefs when you’re sure about yours.
Due to the stigma against the LGBT+ community, never approach anyone romantically if they aren’t open or don’t embrace you as a biromantic person.
Dating someone who doesn’t believe in or support biromanticism will attract toxic dynamics in your relationship.
If your partner judges you, disbelieves or denies your romantic orientation, call it quits.
Staying back with such people might harm your physical, emotional, or even sexual wellbeing.
Wondering how to come out clean? Let’s know it here…
How to talk about biromanticism with others?
Figured out you’re biromantic? That’s great progress in your life! Wanna come out of the closet? I completely understand if you feel nervous… after all, how will your loved ones react?
Don’t worry, I’ll help you get over this anxious phase… and how to come out with a bang here…
1. Choose your style
Your coming-out style depends on how many loved ones you have and where they stay. Consider the digital style if there are too many people or they stay too far away.
Maybe disclose it on a group chat, conference call, or post on social media. Social media can bring forth unknown and unexpected support from your friends.
If there are a handful of people and they all stay close to you, invite them over to announce it. Or, you can talk to them personally one at a time.
Lastly, you can choose a random moment while doing a chore.
2. Never beat around the bush
While making your grand announcement, be as straightforward as possible. Say “I’m biromantic!” whether it’s in person, a group, a text, a call, or a post.
Don’t hesitate because your friends and family might interpret it as negative news. Also, if someone doesn’t support you, they’ll use your hesitation to turn the tables.
Remember, there’s nothing wrong with you… you are redefining yourself… and nobody can stop you. Reassure yourself with positive affirmation to break the silence.
3. Elaborate… deeply and properly
Don’t expect the world to understand biromanticism, brief them about it.
If you feel nervous, give them a short intro… then send them the link to this think-piece in a group chat or paste it in your post.
If there’s a non-tech savvy person around you, gotta explain well. Prepare beforehand for them.
For instance, say…
“I can fall in love with people from more than one gender”
Also, tell them which genders attract you.
4. Don’t forget the sexual orientation
Since biromantic sexuality is so vast, spill the difference between sexual and romantic connection.
If you figured out your sexuality, let them know… if not, say that you’re working on it.
Don’t leave this out from the conversation, else your loved ones will assume you’re sexually active with your romantic partners.
5. Ask for support
Finally, this is the beginning of a long journey. Since there’s a lot of stigma about the LGBTQ+ community, you’ll struggle too.
Ask the loved ones to stay beside you, but never expect a helping hand from everyone. If there’s someone close to whom you can’t express yourself, ask them to convey it to you.
Or, just let them know you wanted to be honest to them.
Want more support for the new journey? Come on, let’s know…
How to find a community as a biromantic person?
Being a part of the LGBT+ community is hard. Every day someone discriminates against you and crushes your soul. That’s why you need a support system to stay well.
However, your search for a biromantic community depends on whether you want one in-person or virtual.
1. Seek LGBT therapists
If you want in-person support, despite your relationship status LGBT counselors or therapists can guide you about a suitable support community for you.
2. Seek local communities
Another option of in-person support for you is local community resources. Some of them are LGBTQ+ centers, gender and sexuality alliance (GSA), or guidance counselors from schools.
3. Check virtual resources
Find groups and online resources like TrevorSpace, The Trevor Project, Facebook groups like Agender, Aromantic, and Asexual, Bisexuals & Biromantic Folks Support Group, and Bisexual and Biromantic HQ.
Also, search some Instagram hashtags like #Biromantic, #BiromanticHeterosexual, #BiromanticAsexual, and #BiromanticPride. Find pages and people on Instagram from such posts.
On the contrary, if you’re not biromantic but wanna support someone else… this will help you out…
How to support someone who is biromantic?
It’s completely normal to not know how to help your biromantic friend. However, it’s nothing different than staying beside a friend of the binary gender.
But your friendship might get messy if you’re not careful about what you say. After all, they’re all torn up inside from the discrimination… a wrong move might give them a wrong impression.
Come on, let’s support and be true to our biromantic friends here…
1. Support them actively
Stay by your biromantic friend and let them know you’ll never leave them. Perhaps, it’s a given that you’ll support your best friend… but it’s not the same for them.
They’re insecure about people accepting them. So, be verbal about this support. Support their pride parade, share awareness among more people.
If they’re seeking therapy, tag along. If they face workplace discrimination, help them find a job. Or, support them in their protests.
Support them in whatever way you’re comfortable.
2. Be an active listener
Any person from the LGBTQ+ community experiences extreme partiality in their daily life. They might need therapy or a place to vent their hurtful feelings.
Settle on a common hour for you both to discuss their day. Encourage them to communicate their heart out, and actively listen.
Don’t pressurize yourself to do something you can’t. If you’re not up for it, don’t urge them to talk.
Otherwise, they’ll find out that you only pretended to lend an ear. That might put an end to your relationship with your biromantic loved one.
3. Validate their feelings
When they share their identity with you, don’t brush it off or say “Are you joking?” That’s hurtful, they’ll turn away from you forever.
If someone comes out of the closet – despite being shocked – thank them for sharing the word and trusting you.
People from the LGBTQ+ community sometimes hide their identities because people misunderstand them. They opened to you because you’re already a close ally in their heart.
4. Ask rather than assuming
Show respectful eagerness about biromanticism. Whether this biromantic person is a friend or acquaintance… ask them about it if you’re curious.
Never begin small talk about biromanticism if you don’t know enough. Ask them what it means, what’s their sexual identity, which genders romantically attract them, and so on.
Also, romantic and sexual identities are complex, it’s better to ask them if you’re curious… don’t hurt them based on assumptions.
5. Research more yourself
Though asking is respectful, never ask the mean it-bits about biromanticism. Even if you didn’t mean offense, never ask a biromantic about how the anti-LGBT community invalidates them.
Unless a person from the LGBT community begins a topic themselves, never begin one. However, if you’re interested in it, research online to know more.
Don’t depend on a biromantic person to know everything. Also, you’ll seem more knowledgeable about these things if your biromantic friends begin such conversations.
Thought only the LGBT+ community had a flag? Let me introduce you to the…
Quite a few people designed biromantic flags until now… with the first one designed in 2016 and the last one in 2021.
Different flag creators emphasized representing the varying nature of the biromantic community.
So, let’s learn about all of them sequentially…
1. The Original and Alternate Biromantic Flags
On 26th April 2016, a DeviantArt user Pride-Flags designed the first and original biromantic flag. It has a small heart on the top-left corner.
On 9th May 2016, Pride-Flags designed the alternate biromantic flag. This flag has a big heart in its center.
Both flags use pink, purple, and blue colored horizontal stripes serially.
2. Another Alternate Biromantic Flag
An anonymous user created the next alternate biromantic flag on 24th October 2020. The flag consisted of five different colored horizontal stripes.
The series from top to bottom expressed the follows:
Purple: It represents attraction to more than one gender
Light Purple: It symbolizes that all biromantics might not feel romantic and sexual attraction towards the same gender, i.e., there are vari-oriented biromantics.
White: This signifies community includes and accepts various genders like transgenders, non-binaries, non-cisgender, and intersex biromantics.
Orange: It implies that some biromantics feel both sexual and romantic attraction towards the same genders, i.e., there are peri-oriented biromantics.
Dark Blue: This represents individuals from both aromantic and asexual spectrum, i.e., aro-ace… and even partial aro-ace who have some feelings for their romantic or sexual partners.[Aromantic are those who never fall in love with their partners]
3. RemiWest123’s Alternate Biromantic Flag
RemiWest030, a FANDOM user, designed another alternate flag on 10th March 2021. The creator expanded the purple stripe implying the community turned more inclusive.
There are thinner stripes representing the non-binaries. The gradations of all colors symbolize the expanding horizon of gender experiences.
4. CallieCat030’s Alternate Biromantic Flag
Another FANDOM user, CallieCat030, designed an alternate flag on 21st March 2021. This one included a heart to merge the original biromantic flag styles.
Let’s head on to some real data here…
A word from ThePleasantRelationship
If you found you’re biromantic, you’re possibly scared of how your loved ones will deal with it. Bring up the idea to them randomly and know how they think about it.
Share the news, if they’re open-minded, else it’s better to think about moving out.
For underages who fear their parents’ reaction to their romantic orientation, don’t come out so early.
Consult a guidance counselor in your school – if possible – else lay low until you can become independent.
This world isn’t a safe space yet for everyone, so prioritize your safety. Seek a therapist if the struggle impacts your mental health.
However, if your friend is biromantic… not you… remind them there’s nothing wrong with them when society says otherwise.
Surabhi wakes up every day with a drive to craft words that can create a soulful impact. Creatively adventurous, she is always seeking to learn new skills and acquire new experiences. With a hidden soft corner for languages (especially Urdu), she writes poetry occasionally, binges on romantic shows, and LOVES to talk. A hustler, admirer, chaser, Surabhi is just another-someone who refused to give up on her dreams. She says, she is just somebody who’s trying to make herself a writer and for now, she’s just writing...