How to deal with rejection from a guy? If you constantly have this thought in your mind, you have landed up to the right place.
Sure, rejection hurts, but you cannot control someone’s behavior for you. The pain of rejection may break you and disturb you.
Often some people also land into depression. But are you sure you want to live with this negative emotion always? Or do you want to handle rejection by improving your mental health?
I am sure none of you want to get traumatized by rejections. Hence, here are some approved tips that will help you with easy dealing with the rejection.
How to deal with rejection from a guy – 30 Tips
While facing romantic rejections, you will feel the same amount of pain as any physical pain, and that’s scientifically proven.
So, I understand what you are going through. You wish there was a doctor who could just prescribe you some medicines, and you could handle rejection.
Unfortunately, we don’t have any such experts. But guess what? There’s something that can help you. Read along to know what.
1. Accept his decision
I know that you are feeling bad about the situation and want to hold onto him. But is this going to help him change his mind? You and I both know the answer to this.
Therefore, it is best that you do not try to convince him to change his thought process. Do not try to show him what he will miss out on. That’s not your job, so act mature and value yourself.
Instead of facing the embarrassment of begging him to stick with you, only respond with, “I am sad that I couldn’t gain your interest, but I wouldn’t come in the way of your decision.” This will show that you were interested in them, but you can certainly live well without them.
2. Acknowledge your feelings
I understand dealing with rejection is a heart-wrenching process, but you will have to do it anyway.
You may feel like you seemed stupid in front of him for asking him out. But no darling, don’t be upset, you weren’t stupid. You only confessed your feelings for him, and that is the right thing to do, isn’t it?
So, yes, after rejection, you may feel frustrated, angry, or depressed. But don’t suppress these feelings.
As you acknowledge your feelings for him, give yourself some time and space to acknowledge these feelings too, and you will be fine soon.
3. Try to be friends again
If this guy has been your friend before, you will definitely not want your confession to ruin your friendship. Otherwise, things may get awkward between you two.
So, why don’t you simply tell him that he is under no pressure and you just confessed your feelings? This way, you can continue being friends, and it will help you deal with the rejection too.
If you are wondering how to restore your friendship, you can use these lines:
“I may need some time, but hey, shall we chill as friends after that?”
“Okay, let’s not make it awkward and continue being friends. What do you think?”
4. Make an exit
But if you are one among those who cannot deal with rejection, exiting the place will be the right choice to make. Give any excuse and leave the spot if you don’t think you can handle your emotions in front of others.
You can go home or call your friends to share your feelings and feel lighter. Sit on a beach or have a couple of drinks, but don’t lean on his shoulder to cry.
It will become an awkward situation if he has to make you feel comfortable.
Alternatively, you can also ask your close friend to give you a call at a specific time so that you can escape the place easily.
5. Be truthful
There is absolutely no harm in telling him that you are upset with his answer. It doesn’t mean that you are adding any emotional baggage on him. If you want some time off him, tell him that and keep the communication transparent.
If you are truthful about your feelings, it will show him that you are interested in him and are still willing to communicate even after rejection.
Moreover, it is also a sign that you aren’t forcing him for anything, and you respect his decision.
And c’mon, if he was honest with you, why wouldn’t you be the same?
6. Ask yourself about your expectations.
Rejection hurts, sure, but why don’t you question yourself why you wanted him in the first place?
Obviously, you were expecting something from him- maybe love, care, or a friend. Ask yourself what did you expect from a relationship with him. Then see if there are other ways to fulfill the same needs.
For instance, if you wanted to spend more time with somebody, is there any other friend you can do the same with?
Or, if you want romance, who is the other person who is craving to fulfill your romantic needs? You are sure to find some options.
7. Respect the situation and the person
If that guy rejected you, it doesn’t mean every guy will. Nor does it mean that you have less self-worth. You are still capable of doing wonders in your life and living happily. So, stop overthinking and generalizing the situations.
There is a chance that the guy isn’t ready for a commitment and is not sure about you at this stage.
Or maybe he is going through some other important thing in life. So, stop making assumptions and respect the situation and timing.
8. Make a list of things you love about yourself.
If you are questioning your self-worth after being rejected by a guy, you are making the biggest mistake, my friend.
Rejection says nothing about you as it only showcases that you both aren’t compatible with each other yet.
So, it’s time to grab a pen and paper and sit for once. Make a list of everything that you love about yourself. It can be anything like:
- Are you a good dancer?
- Do you feel confident about yourself?
- Are you an independent person?
- Can you deal with animals?
- Do you know how to deal with people?
This list will restore you to have faith in yourself and let you know about the multiple things you still have to offer to any guy you have by your side.
9. Avoid blaming yourself
Most people make this mistake, and I don’t want you to repeat it. Hence, take this as a note that ‘YOU ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR HIS DECISION. STOP BLAMING YOURSELF.’
There is nothing wrong with you and his decision has nothing to do with you. So, don’t take his rejection in a manner that can lower your self-worth.
Maybe there are things in you that HE couldn’t see, and the other guys will. It only means that he is not the correct one for you. Simple.
Avoid taking things personally. His reactions are not because of you. So, you live your life happily and don’t take any blame on yourself.
10. Opt for some pain-relieving medication
Well, I shouldn’t say this, but it is really challenging for some people to go through the phase of rejection. I understand that your emotional baggage is similar to your physical pain.
Hence, I wouldn’t object if you take some pain-relieving medicines but make sure they’re prescribed by a doctor.
But please, don’t indulge yourself in alcohol or drugs because it is only going to ruin you in the long term.
11. Educate yourself
See, if you are a student of school or college, I think you have more important and better things in life to focus upon. So, stop cribbing over a guy who cannot see how beautifully strong you are.
Instead, keep yourself occupied and educate yourself. Become more learned and develop your skills. Finishing your education will only help you become a mature person.
You will still have a chance to meet a number of boys in your life but the time for your education won’t return.
12. Accomplish your goals
Don’t tell me you don’t have any goal in your life? Don’t you want to hit that gym every day and shape your body? What about your travel dream to Europe? Have you prepared enough for that exam you had to crack?
Stop thinking about the rejection and focus on your goals to accomplish them. They are the meaningful things in your life and will give you more joy than that guy you are crying about.
If needed, stray for a while because I understand you are feeling bad about the happenings. But be kind to yourself and find the focus back to your goals.
13. Spend time with near ones
Trust me on this that you will forget all about rejection once you start spending time with your friends and family.
Or why don’t you just casually hang out in places and socialize? Make new friends, yes, you can do that.
Attend community meetings of church or library. Join chat rooms and forums and have healthy discussions that uplift your self-esteem.
Spending time with people will make you forget about the person who rejected you, and you will start enjoying your life once again.
14. Deal with emotional side effects
Feeling hurt or being angry after a rejection is a normal feeling. Don’t get too hyped about it. You will have to deal with it, and you will certainly be able to.
For quick dealing, it is a good idea to write a journal every day. Here, you will be able to write about all those emotions you couldn’t share with your friends, and nobody will even judge you.
Or try deep breathing instead. It will help you control your anger and calm your mind.
15. Practice letting go
In life, you will not get everything you want, and you must accept this wholesome fact.
So, if he doesn’t want to be with you, you will have to let him go. Stop obsessing over him, and if you are facing too much difficulty in getting him out of your head, then
- Make a list of things that attracted you to him. Acknowledge these needs.
- Process your feelings and the loss. Grieve as much as you want for once.
- And see what’s next waiting for you. Are there other guys looking towards you? Do you want to work on yourself or get into another relationship?
16. Allow yourself to feel the pain
See, if you keep suppressing your feelings, you are only adding up to your emotional baggage.
Because of this baggage, you wouldn’t be able to make the right decisions in your life and treat others rudely. And nobody deserves that because you aren’t able to cope with your feelings.
So, give yourself some time to feel the pain. Grieve and release your anger because unless you heal, you will not be able to move forward in your life.
Once you finish processing your overwhelming emotions, you will feel good.
17. Avoid a victimized mindset
You have to be very cautious about processing your feelings. Yes, only after giving a lot of time to your thought process can you heal from the pain of rejection. But while doing so, you must not develop a victimized mindset.
If you develop such a mentality, you will always be brooding with anger and stuck in your sufferings.
You will never be able to move on from the rejection phase, as you will feel powerless. Such a mindset will only help you make wrong decisions and hurt you more.
So, even while you are processing your feelings, do it like an adult and have a rational mindset before taking any step further. You must preserve your integrity for the benefit of your future.
18. Embrace your individuality
See, feeling critical under such circumstances is acceptable. You will have all sorts of insecure thoughts, and you will feel that something inside you is missing. But tell me one thing, girl, do you think that you lack anything?
If yes, I believe you should work towards it to have it. But I am pretty sure most of you will answer a NO, and if it’s a NO, then why will you think you are less just because someone else is not validating you?
Look, visit old friends, pursue your hobbies, do what makes you happy and embrace your individuality. You are unique in your own way, and if your guy cannot see that, you deserve someone better.
19. Heal your ego
Don’t tell me you didn’t hurt your ego by being rejected. You may be feeling that you shouldn’t have approached the guy in the first place. But tell me, what did you do wrong here by confessing your feelings?
So, don’t get heavy on your ego. If you feel so, take a paper and list down all the things you are capable of doing.
Maybe there are some things that you can do better than them. You may have better looks and personality or may just know how to respect others’ feelings without being rude.
This list will help you understand yourself on a deeper level and will bring out the capabilities in you, which will help you decide that you deserve better and also heal your bruised ego.
20. Practice positive self-talk
If you think negatively about yourself, why will you even expect someone to think positively of you? Start with yourself.
Don’t give heed to any negative thoughts. Be a positive human and have the energy to take rejection with a positive approach.
You can use Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy for the same. All that you need to do is question yourself: “Is what you’re saying true and logical? Is it helping you in any form?”
Your inner self will come with an answer that it’s not fair for you to get rejected and you want to give up. But why don’t you keep saying to yourself, “While it may not be fair, giving up will not help either.
Rather, I should try to improve my aspect, idea, or proposal. Alternatively, I can look for acceptance somewhere else.”
Such positive self-talk is very important to gain your rationality and keep moving.
21. Thank them for their rejection
One guy is not the end of the world. And even if you have been rejected multiple times by different people, there are still millions of guys out there that you should try for.
Believe it or not, there is someone out there waiting for you. They will love you for who you are and never ask you to change.
So, thank your lucky stars that you didn’t settle for someone who doesn’t feel the same about you and just move on looking for your Mr. Perfect.
22. Be kind to yourself
Blaming yourself for someone else’s rejection is always going to be a harmful decision for you. It will only lead to frustration, anger, disappointment, and you will start making wrong decisions in your life.
You will develop a habit of blaming yourself for every petty thing going wrong in your life and dump all the frustration on yourself.
Often people also start beating themselves in this frustration. Don’t do this to yourself, love. Be kind.
If someone rejects you, it is not your mistake. Try to understand their situation too, and if that is all you want to practice something, only practice being kind to yourself. You are a superpower, and you always deserve happiness.
23. Engage in healthy habits
Oh, God! Perhaps I shouldn’t even mention this here, but what is wrong with this generation?
Why will you even give up on eating or exercising just because someone rejected you? Was that all for your life? Did your life stop there?
No! That’s the biggest mistake you are making. If you want to deal with rejection, you must engage yourself in a healthy lifestyle – eat healthy food, spend more time exercising, and have enough sleep.
All of these will help you stay fresh and eliminate negative thoughts from your mind. A healthy lifestyle will only give you more stamina to deal with the toughest situations of your life.
24. Avoid revenge dating
How did you feel when someone rejected you? You felt devastated. Now, tell me, will you like to put someone in the same situation as you? Only if your answer is a YES here, go for revenge dating. Because without it, it’s absolutely a no go.
You are only trying to use someone to get back to your ex. You are not happy with who you are dating, so obviously, it’s not going to remain for a lifetime.
In fact, you’ll only end up hurting other people and land them in the same position as yours. And if they also do revenge dating, the cycle will continue.
So, get emotionally stable, fix your feelings and only then see someone else.
25. Seek professional help
If you feel hurt and have nobody to share your feelings with, you must seek professional help. A lot of people see this activity as taboo because they think that such activities make you seem weak. But it’s a complete myth.
These professionals hear your problems without any judgment, and your problems are entirely confidential. They help you restore the faith within yourself and come out stronger than before.
You will be able to process your emotions and heal faster when you seek some professional help.
26. Handle your problems
Know how to handle your problems before it’s too late. Because every time you think of confessing your feelings for someone, you will have these problems haunting you and wouldn’t allow you to make a move.
So, if you are facing some financial issues, work harder to earn more. If you have had a bad childhood, and hence, you cannot be good with others, speak to a therapist and fix that.
Handle your problems when they are small to avoid witnessing their giant outcome. These problems will only prevent you from meeting someone good, and you will always be experiencing rejection.
27. Take risks
So many people don’t express their feelings for someone because of the fear of rejection.
They keep waiting for the other person to make the first move and waste their time. If you are one among them, you are a coward.
What if, after all the years of waiting, you realize that the person never felt the same way about you?
Rather, just move ahead, confess your feelings and take that risk. If they reject you, at least you know which direction to go. You may feel embarrassed, but that is only for a while. You are at least not making a fool out of yourself.
Or at least you wouldn’t regret in the future that you should have confessed before it got too late.
28. Get rejected often
If you want to try something new, try flirting with every possible person you meet. You will notice that either you will upskill your flirting game or end up being rejected.
In this course, you will also meet many people who flirt better than you, then you must learn from them.
If a lot of people are not rejecting you, it indicates that there is nothing wrong with you. The guy who rejected you was wrong.
But if most people are rejecting you by now, you must have gotten rejected by so many people that the pain doesn’t get heavy on you anymore.
29. Stop thinking about them
Thinking about the person who rejected you is only going to cause you pain because you will have to undergo the pain of rejection once again. And that is not going to be useful, isn’t it?
Instead, think about the people who make efforts to see you smile. Look back at your old photographs and analyze your transformation. Revisit your happy go-to places and spend some time in a natural environment.
Repeating this activity will make you feel comfortable with every form of rejection and give you the ability to overcome challenging situations.
30. Self-reflect on your actions
If you are crying over a rejection on Tinder, grow up, my baby. The guy didn’t even take 20 seconds to give you a swipe judging you on your prettiest snap.
But if you have been spending time with this guy for a long time, maybe you can consider examining your behavior with them.
Recall a past few meetings or talks with them. Was there anything that you said or did by mistake that they didn’t like? Was their reaction normal to everything you did? If not, maybe that can be the reason.
List down a series of such behaviors, so you can be mindful of them to not repeat them in the future.
Why rejection hurts so much?
Summary: Rejection hurts so much because our human brains have been wired that way since the evolutionary days. We believe that being rejected by someone is the end of our life.
As mentioned, several times above, rejection will hurt you as much as physical pain. I repeated this statement because it is a scientific fact, according to a study by the University of Michigan.
Guy Winch, psychologist and author of Emotional Aid: Healing Rejection, Guilt, Failure, and Other Everyday Hurts, says that if we accept rejection, we will know how to survive.
He further said that when you experience pain through rejection, you try to understand what behavior caused that pain.
Later, you try to correct that behavior too. Hence, correcting such behaviors will only give you a fruitful result in the long term.
But why does our brain work that way? Evolutionary psychologists believe that when humans were hunter-gatherers, they used to be with their tribes.
They knew they could not survive alone or they would die. As a result, when someone rejected them, they feared death because they got isolated.
From here, the fear of rejection started. We started to believe that if someone didn’t accept us, we would have nowhere to go, and we may end up dying alone.
With such beliefs, people changed their behavior and did every possible thing to make tribespeople happy to be among them.
It is what we continue doing today and keep society happy so that they accept us.
A word from ThePleasantRelationship
We all feel rejected at some point in our life and our feelings hurt. But what matters is how we respond to rejections.
Sitting and crying on your bed is not going to help you become a better person. Sure, grieve for a while, but don’t let it stop you from taking some boss moves.
You develop a vision for yourself and accomplish your goals. Spend time with people who are important to you and who reciprocate the same feelings for you. Only then will you be able to live a happy life.
But if you think you are facing too much trouble getting over the rejection, please don’t hesitate to seek professional help. I wish you all the strength and love for your life.
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