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Sex Talk: How, When, Where, and What to Talk About?

Sex Talk: How, When, Where, and What to Talk About?

Updated on Sep 13, 2022

Reviewed by Julianne Cantarella, MSW, LSW , Certified Relationship Coach

Sex Talk - How, When, Where, and What to Talk About

Did you have the sex talk with your partner yet?

No, I’m not referring to sexy or dirty talking… it’s about actually discussing what you desire and hope in your sex life. 

Or, are you wondering how to proceed? Perhaps you’re afraid of unintentionally hurting your partner

Fair enough, I absolutely understand your concerns… and I’m proud you stepped up to do something worthy for your relationship. After all, you reached this think-piece – your one-stop solution for all doubts!

Unfortunately, we learned to speak but not communicate. Thus began humane miseries.

To capture a satisfying sex life and strong relationship, let’s head in…

Sex Talk Infographics

Sex Talk - Definition, Topics to Discuss & When To Talk About Sex
Sex Talk – Definition, Topics to Discuss & When To Talk About Sex
Ways on How To Talk Sex with Your Partner & How To Sex Talk with Your Partner
Ways on How To Talk Sex with Your Partner & How To Sex Talk with Your Partner
Benefits of Sex Talk & Sex Talk Every Couple Must Have
Benefits of Sex Talk & Sex Talk Every Couple Must Have

Why people have sex talk with their partners?

Sex talk with your partner can help you remove many sexual dissatisfaction issues, cultivate intimacy, increase relationship satisfaction and build a strong romantic relationship.

Sex life and sexual issues can be the roots of multiple related issues.

Talking about sex between partners plays a big role in relationship satisfaction. But most people don’t feel comfortable.

If there’s an issue with your sexual life, honestly talking with your partner might help the situation.

Many studies show that couples with good communication about sex attain higher sexual satisfaction.

Open and honest communication about your sexual desires has other benefits too. It can instill a deeper bond, build intimacy, strengthen your relationship, and increase relationship satisfaction.

Wondering what to talk about? Let’s know from…

What topics to discuss during sex talk?

Sex talk isn’t just about what feels good for your naughty bits. There are various different topics when it comes to sex talk.

In fact, the various topics help you build a healthy relationship be it physically or emotionally. So, let’s dig into all the topics that you must discuss with your partner…

1. Sexual health

Discussing STI status, though awkward, is important to sexually active partners. It might sound rude to know someone’s STI status, but give it a shot after knowing them better.

Get tested together and share your status first so nobody feels offended or shy. If you’re wondering why, it’s so important because some people aren’t even aware they have an STI or STD.

Chlamydia can make women infertile and get men prostate gland infections. Cases of Syphilis kept increasing within the last two decades. Also, all sexually active people get HPV at least once.

So, it’s quite important for both of your long-term safety.

2. Safe sex practices

Nowadays, some men insist on not using condoms. They want to go bare-back because they’re either too big or can’t feel good with it.

And it’s always a female’s responsibility to ensure that she doesn’t get pregnant. But birth control doesn’t protect you from STIs and STDs.

Condoms and dental dams are equally important so never skip them. But if you mutually decided to ditch the barriers, think about birth controls (for hetero couples).

Consult an Ob/GYN about the type of birth control and side effects. If a woman suffers from the side effects, her man must support her. Remember that she’s taking in foreign chemicals for you.

3. Frequency of sex

The frequency of sexual activity is another touchy topic. It makes your partner feel undesirable and less than. Even if you don’t mean to hurt them, it will.

Also, they might judge you so it makes you feel uncomfortable. It’s either, you’re a sex addict or you’re asexual. You fear such labels and so keep quiet. 

But communication is important to satisfy your and your partner’s needs.

You both must be equally willing to perform any kind of sexual activity. Marriage or a long-term relationship isn’t your ticket to having sex whenever, wherever, or however.

Forceful sex is rape… even if it’s between a married partner or people who had sex before. If you experience sexual coercion, reach out to your healthcare providers or social workers.

5. Sexual fantasies

Another important topic is sexual fantasy or how you like or dislike it in bed. This isn’t a tough topic like the last ones. Rather you can hit up such conversations even if you’re cooking.

If you’re into a certain type of sexual activity, sex position, touching certain body parts feels good to you, wanna include sex toys, or role-playing. Always communicate such needs.

Know one another’s sexual desires to experiment better. You both might like some ideas and disagree with others. Communication can lead to exploring great depths in your bedroom.

6. Libido fluctuations

Sex drive isn’t constant as it depends on your stress levels, physical condition, hormonal imbalance, or even age. Your sex drive, even if, was always high might change with external factors.

If you’re used to indulging in sex every weekend and you suddenly don’t feel like it. Don’t feel pressured to be sexually aroused.

Forceful sex isn’t comfortable and you might feel resentful towards your partner. Discuss it to avoid relationship conflicts.

7. Sexual rejection and initiation

Who makes the first sexual moves? Is there an untold rule in your relationship about who initiates it?

Not feeling like having sex is normal. If your partner alone initiates sex in the relationship… and you reject their sexual advances… imagine their feelings.

They might doubt your feelings and feel discouraged to make moves.

Discuss mutual initiation and learn to take rejection sportily. And whoever rejects advances must take the next initiative for sex.

8. Intimacy

Sex and relationship go hand in hand, but there’s more to it. Sometimes, you might only desire intimate or affectionate touch. However, your advances for pure physical intimacy always led to sex.

Your partner may feel objectified if you always turn your partner’s nonsexual closeness into sexual ones. So, discuss when to indulge in pure intimacy and when to do the dirty.

9. Sexual dysfunction

The human body sometimes goes wrong… your body might not get sexually aroused easily. Vaginal dryness, lack of enough natural lubrication in men, or erection issues… all are common.

It might be due to underlying issues like medicines, stress, midlife crisis, menopause, or other physical and mental health concerns.

Start talking about your issue and seek a professional if it persists.

10. Problems during sex

Lastly, there can be mishaps and problems during sex.

For instance, sexual activity might be uncomfortable for your partner. Or, going without lube hurts them. Or, you don’t feel satisfied with just intercourse.

There are many possible issues you face on the go… talking, once again, might solve the issue.

But did you identify the location to indulge into this sex talk? No? Here’s your answer.

Where to talk about sex?

Go for a private yet neutral place. Your bedroom and a crowded public place both are unsuitable.

Sex is a private activity so don’t trigger the conversation in a public place.

However, since it mainly revolves around the bed… don’t choose the bed either. Because you two might be in bed either when you’re horny or tired.

The convo might lead to c*c*block steamy sex. Or, your partner might fall asleep mid-convo.

Choose your living room or a private space outdoors for the perfect ambiance.

Curious about the timing? Here you go…

When to talk about sex?

The timing of sex talk is equally important. If you choose the wrong time, your partner might refuse you or even retort rudely. It might also hurt your partner if you can’t read the mood well.

They might misinterpret that sex is more important than them. So, let’s wisely choose these steps…

1. Not when they walk in

When they return home after a long day, they’re tired. They want to change out of their clothes and relax in a shower/bath.

Tired people are more likely to pick the wrong hints about sensitive conversations. So, wait until they’re rejuvenated.

2. Not when they’re hungry

Never ever have an important convo with a hungry person. Hunger is an extreme emotion. It can make a person cranky or even lose their mind.

If your partner is hungry, feed them. Satisfying your starving partner will help them be more considerate towards you.

3. Not after sex

If you begin a sex conversation just after a nice sesh, it’ll surely impact their mood. They’ll probably think you didn’t focus on it at all. Or, the convo is because you didn’t enjoy it.

Lots of misunderstandings can arise like that.

4. Not when they’re busy or sad

If your partner is preoccupied with other issues, like work or family affairs… your words will sting them. This isn’t the time to burden them with more thoughts.

5. Plan around their leisure time

If your partner watches some show or reads books around a fixed time, that’s when they’re free. It’s a good time to break the ice then.

However, you might miss these chances or can’t get the time right. Then set a time for the discussion beforehand. Ask them to keep their schedule free for the convo.

Set the place and time? Feeling nervous? Let’s beat the cold feet with these…

What are some tips for finding the right time for sex talk?

Choosing the right time is a daunting task. Adulthood isn’t easy, you and your partner have multiple commitments in your life.

Through the rough times in your life, communication about sex becomes a huge deal. So, take up these tips to find out…

1. During date-nights

When you go out on dates, you have one another’s complete attention. You’re full of positivity, there’s a chance of personal growth and healthy communications.

2. During check-ins

If you have monthly check-ins, that’s another good timing. Check-in with your partner doesn’t need to be serious and therapy-like. You can go on a vacation or a small trip while you do the important talking.

3. When you’re both free

Two people’s schedules won’t always match, so look forward to when you’re both free. It might be when you both watch a series on Netflix. Or, when you do gardening together.

4. When you’re both at peace

Also, mental peace is an issue in the current world. Choose a time when you and your partner don’t have any major ongoing life problems. That’s a landmine, don’t step on it.

Choose happy moments to avoid the backlash of irrelevant matters.

5. With some good hints

Give your partner some heads-up that it’s about sex. However, make sure to spell it out… it’s not about you, it’s us, so don’t overthink.

Be endearing when you hint at it, else your partner will be anxious about the convo.

Thinking what good can sex talk bring? Let’s head in…

What are the benefits of sex talk?

Communication can always help relationships last longer – It’s a given.

However, many people don’t understand that they can communicate about sex. We’ll talk more about that later. But first, let’s know the importance of sex talk…

1. It builds healthy dynamics

Sex is so stigmatized that even married partners don’t discuss it. People rather talk about it online anonymously, rather than talking with their partner.

When you communicate about the important stuff in the relationship… it’ll naturally encourage your partner to be more open and honest in the relationship.

This is a great kick-start to a healthy and long-lasting relationship.

2. It develops intimacy

Depending on how well you handle the conversation about sex, you’ll build a deep connection.

When you show your concerns about your partner’s likes and dislikes, take consent, and keep them first about sex… it’ll express your loving feelings towards them.

Even if the conversation is bumpy and you don’t handle it well, you’ll learn together. Learning to communicate will be a shared experience for you both. This will in turn intensify your closeness.

3. It boosts sexual satisfaction

If you do the talking right, reach the middle grounds so nobody feels pressured, rejected, or neglected… sex will become more satisfying.

After all, you’ll find something that’ll work out the best for you both.

4. It’s a must for relationship satisfaction

Though not necessary, sex is an important factor in relationships. Further, with increased intimacy and good relationship dynamics, you’ll both feel happy about it.

You won’t be one of those “I wonder why my partner is like this” couples.

5. It boosts self-esteem

Did you ever feel nervous about sex? Being preoccupied with what works well on your partner… only to not enjoy yourself?

Well, if you talk about sex properly, know one another’s turn-ons and turn-offs, you’ll not feel so anxious anymore. It can enhance your sexual confidence and performance.

Now let’s find out where the difficulties began…

Why is it so hard for some couples?

Even though the first man walked nude and mated out in the open… There’s too much hush-hush about the topic. However, how did our thoughts change? Blame it on evolution maybe?

Actually, there can be other deep-seated issues that can lead to something intense. So, let’s find them here…

1. It’s their upbringing

In this world – where women broke off chains and began achieving huge milestones – sex is still a taboo in lots of places.

Children are brought up with thoughts like “Sex is bad” or “Good children don’t talk about it.” The pure hearts can’t deny but accept it unconditionally.

2. It’s a past trauma

Unfortunately, some parents punish their eager adolescent kids’ reading adult magazines… and some make them feel guilty. They fail to understand that adolescence is the age when you get inquisitive about it.

3. They were sexually abused

For sexual abuse victims, sex is a touchy topic. It brings up horrid memories, so they might as well completely abstain from sex. Before having sex talk with a sexual abuse victim, resolve the past scar.

4. People fear rejection

Socially, a person can either boast about how good they’re in bed… or curl up in shame because of low performance. After all, sex is a competition… that’s where more issues arise.

Sometimes you might feel unsure about such conversations… all because they’ll feel hurt. If your partner did the same, possibly you’ll doubt yourself too. It’s ingrained in the human brain.

5. You hide your insecurities

Everyone is insecure about their body in some way. Not to be crude, but if having sex in broad daylight in front of everyone as possible, most of the insecurities will disappear.

Because many of the insecurities are about silly things like body part size issues, taste in sex, different needs.

Most of them are normal, people don’t know them because nobody talks… and it’s an endless loop.

Think you can’t talk because of the awkwardness? Let’s defeat the fears here…

What are some ways to approach the topic of sex?

If you relate with any deep-seated reasons up there, you must be really troubled. But I’m really proud of your hard work.

Many people give up because they can’t deal with hurtful emotions. So, let’s break the ice on sexual topics with these…

1. Visit the past

Talk about how your elders talked about sex. Were they open about the topic or was it all hush-hush?

When you share such intricate details from your past, your partner will also share some stories. Knowing one another’s past can help you understand many reasons behind current habits.

2. Explore some stimulation

Know what sexually arouses one another. Begin with sharing “I was wondering what makes you instantly horny? I want to please you more… because when you’re turned on, it heats me up”

Keep the conversation interesting, make your partner blush with sweet details. You can also begin this conversation with something that turns you on fast.

3. Pry in their biases

Everything about sex might be good, but you might like something more than the rest. It might be phone sex, oral sex, or even foreplay. Everyone has their own thing and that’s natural.

For instance, you and your partner might not like the same ice-cream flavors… and that’s okay, you don’t hate on one another’s scoops!

So share what exactly do you like the most… it’s okay if it doesn’t match. Just please one another in their preferred way.

4. Learn the horny hints

Is there something you or your partner does when you guys are aroused? It might be risqué touches, sexy dirty talk in bed, or role-plays. It can help you respond better to one another’s advances.

On the other hand, it might be nothing. Either of you might feel ashamed and don’t express your needs at all. You can fix this with more open communications.

5. Know the frequency of sex on their mind

If you ask your partner how regularly they want sex, they’ll shut down. If it doesn’t match with the current dynamics, they’ll never ask for more (or less). They don’t want to hurt you after all.

However, if you twist the question like “How frequently do you think of sex?”… It’s a different way to grab the topic and know exactly what your partner wants.

Of course, it doesn’t mean they need sex every minute if it’s all they think of. It might imply they need more.

Hit up the convo? Don’t know what to do? Let’s know from here…

How to sex talk with your partner?

Striking up a conversation isn’t enough, there’s more to do. You gotta keep up with the flow, to keep the awkwardness at bay.

Because more awkwardness can make things harder. You need a thorough plan for that, so follow these…

1. Keep it slow 

You don’t need to jump to the topic. Begin with baby steps to help them open up. Don’t offend them with blames or make fun of anything. Remember, sex is about you both, it’s not just about one of you.

Include thoughts about mutual sexual satisfaction. You’ll naturally be able to talk more softly with gentle thoughts. 

2. Make it romantic

Another tip: Sex isn’t the only important part of romantic relationships. Don’t keep the topic strictly about sex. Otherwise, your partner will misunderstand your intentions.

Ask them what kind of affectionate touch they prefer. Show them what you like too. Mutually connect with other forms of intimacy and strengthen your relationship.

3. Smoothly slide in with the sexy scene

If you have a sexy movie scene in mind, pop that bad boy out. Watch the movie and when the scene rolls out, ask if they liked it.

If they agree, you know what to add in bed. However, if they gave a no, don’t even bring it up later.

Don’t have any movies in mind? Check out porn parodies for funny and sexy content. The chuckles will keep the mood light.

4. Open your heart

After these, dive deeper into the convo. Tell them things you always wanted to try. Or bring up your concerns about sex. If something seems sexy yet scary, tell them that you’re afraid.

Be vulnerable to them, bare your heart to your partner. Soon, they’ll return you the favor.

5. Discuss frequently

Do you think a one-time sex talk will remove all the issues? Sadly, it won’t… because people need time to warm up to new thoughts, accept them, and practice them themselves.

So, bring up the topic whenever you check in with your partner. Keep it regular, but not too frequent. Give time to other topics as well.

But, that’s not all, there are more…

Ways on how to talk sex with your partner

Just because it’s sex “talk”, doesn’t imply you can only talk. There are other non-verbal ways to communicate too.

Also, communication is a kind of art. It needs patience and awareness. Don’t be careless if you want something good out of it. Let’s know how to do that.

1. Be straightforward

Some people don’t like beating around the bush because it consumes more energy, wastes time, and the main part is delayed.

If your partner likes it all heads on… this is what you need.

2. Spice it with some appreciation

If your partner is a sensitive person, don’t demand with “I wanna have this sex more”. They’ll wonder if you didn’t enjoy sex until now, feel hurt… and that’s a stop to a few days’ convo and sex.

Rather, thank them for doing a certain thing. Tell them “That thing you did was awesome… thanks for giving me great experiences”. It’ll boost their sexual confidence and they’ll be more willing to try it.

3. Put it on paper

If you’re not good with face-to-face convos, write it down. Since letters lack emotions, be sure to show extra emotions in the words.

Leave the letter by their bedside, drop text messages or mail on their email address… whatever you use.

4. Or, on the screen

Again, if you find what you like in pornography and porn magazines, show it to them. Sometimes, you might be unable to express your likes exactly through words.

When you’re tongue-tied, use visuals for a win-win situation. If they like what they see, you might try them out soon.

5. Take the blame

Always use “I” statements… this is a given if you wanna avoid some misunderstandings.

Express it like “I really like this kind of sex, what’s your take on it?” instead of “I bear with this sex because you like it.”

Don’t blame them… take responsibility for your words, and revolve the reasons around your desires.

6. Discuss rejections

Rejecting sexual advances is a touchy topic, so don’t miss this out either. Both parties must consent to have sex and nobody must feel pressured. There’s no room for negotiation for this rule.

So, if you don’t want it, discuss that nobody must feel hurt or angry about it.

7. Avoid sexism

No book says a male must always initiate sex or a woman can’t be on top. So, let’s be more open in the bedroom for one another’s pleasure.

Do it for pleasure, not how society wants you to do it. Discuss if you’re both open to such ideas.

8. Choose a good time and location

Look up the when and where of the conversation again. It’s not too hard if you set time beforehand either. Push back the convo if you or your partner don’t feel good physically or emotionally.

9. Ace it with empathy

Your partner might feel scared about new things. Don’t hurry them, reassure them and empathize with them. Let them understand that you care about their emotions.

You’re like two pieces of a puzzle… handle one another with care, or you’ll break apart.

10. Be accepting

Your partner and you will have different opinions on several matters. But don’t begin a fight over a disagreement. Sometimes, people with different thoughts can love one another.

And if you nurture that love well, you both will slowly accept one another’s opinions and desires.

However, if your partner doesn’t cooperate, it’ll be messy. Let’s know more here…

What to do when your partner doesn’t want to listen to you?

Consult a sex therapist if your partner won’t listen to you. However, there’s no promise they’ll change their mind. In the end, you can only accept how things are.

There are two choices when your partner doesn’t listen to you… even if you were accommodating and followed all the steps diligently.

Either consider seeking a sex therapist. They’ll help you figure out better ways to communicate about it.

You might also understand their perspectives through the session. Don’t expect a sex therapist to magically make your partner agree to everything he has been avoiding.

Or, accept the differences and move on from them. Did you achieve every dream you had since childhood?

Sex isn’t beyond it and there will be things you might not get. If your partner doesn’t like a sexual fantasy or activity, you can’t force it on them. Look forward to enjoying your sex life differently.

Knowing your sexual style can help you communicate better. So, let’s learn…

How to know and understand your sexual style?

Your difference in taste all lies in your sexual style. If you figure it out, then you can also know your favorite and most satisfying sex position.

You both might prefer different styles, so try all of them out to know more about yourself. Find out the common sexual style that works for you both, here…

1. The Affectionate Style

This is a romantic and gentle way of having sex. It shows how much you love and cherish one another.

The secret messages of soft caresses heal both of your bodies. You both focus on what you receive and give in this kind of sex.

2. The Spiritual Style

This one involves the enmeshing body, soul, and mind of both partners. It expresses how thankful you’re to one another.

You notice the minute deets in your life and connect with one another spiritually with sex.

3. The Lusty Style

This is when you both like naughty sex outside the bedroom. You might like experimenting with sex to make it more enjoyable.

It is completely about enjoying sex and one another’s bodies. It’s flirty, seductive, and sensual.

4. The Fantasy Style

It’s about your deepest sexual fantasies. You add exciting things from your fantasies in your sex life. But of course, your partner must consent to try them.

5. The Funny Style

Ever teased your partner during sex? It’s not about making fun of one another. Rather, it focuses on naughty teasing and enjoying it mutually.

Sometimes your partner might give you a playful smirk when they deny you orgasm… this is that kind of sex.

6. The Angry Style

Some people let off steam after a bad fight with sex. It’s how they heal their hurting parts, feel good, and love one another at the same time.

But it’s not a good idea to resolve conflicts this way. Discuss the issues later on and conclude.

Worried about hurting your partner with words? Let’s remove those worries here…

How can you keep the conversation non-offensive while still being direct?

Both you and your partner are human beings with fragile hearts. You can’t ever take back words and they sting forever.

So, it’s important to be mindful of your words and actions. Follow these steps to cherish your partner’s heart…

1. Pave the way with optimism

If your partner isn’t experienced or skilled, don’t be too blunt like “You suck at foreplay”.

It’ll hurt their confidence and discourage them from trying new things. Rather, tell them what you want, guide them on how to please you.

Tell them, “I love it when you do that.” It’s encouraging, they’ll feel confident about making you feel good. It all becomes a phenomenal experience.

2. Keep more patience

Your partner, whether inexperienced or lacking, needs time to learn stuff. We didn’t learn life’s ABCs in a day, give the poor person some time.

If they can’t start talking dirty during sex as you like, give them time. Do your part and show it’s natural. Look up some sex tips together, practice, and never lose your mind during sex.

At least, they’re learning how to talk dirty during sex, so show gratitude.

3. Be more sporty

Was your partner too straightforward about your technique? It hurts, I agree… but at least they didn’t fake it and trash-talk you later during arguments.

Yup… there are worse possibilities, so accept it positively, and don’t take it personally. They just want to stay real and enjoy it honestly. Nothing wrong with that, so learn with the flow.

4. But not too competitive

Alright, if there’s an argument about what’s better in bed… remember, it’s not a WWE match… you’re not in a wrestling ring.

You gotta refrain from pointless disagreements. They suck out your energy and breed negativity in relationships. Don’t fight to win alone… fight to win together and be the best team.

5. Accept new possibilities

Specifically, this one goes out to both partners of every relationship. You both are different and you have the right to like different things in bed.

But that doesn’t imply the things you don’t prefer are bad. As long as there are no sharpies, other animals or blood involved… be open to all kinds of sex. 

Wondering how to deal with different tastes? Let’s learn from…

How can you navigate the differences in sex likes and dislikes?      

Differences in sexual preference are inevitable. So, do you give up on sex completely? Of course, not… once you find your soulmate, there’s no way you can change your mind.

Rather, work through those differences with these…

1. Respect individual choices

Since naturally there are differences between your sexual palates, you gotta respect them. Though, in a new relationship, it’s hard to understand if your partner really respects you.

But their actions will speak louder. If they deny using barrier methods or lie about using pills… that’s enough sign of disrespect. Express yourself better with respect towards yourself and them.

2. Don’t threaten

If your partner doesn’t respect or accept your choices, don’t threaten them with a separation. A breakup convo over sex can be really detrimental to long-term relationships.

Don’t fight about the differences, rather…

3. Compromise together

Adjust from both sides in the relationship. Suppose, you love oral sex, but your partner is against it.

Give up on the idea of oral and ask them to use sex toys or their hands. Also, your partner won’t completely neglect your needs if they satisfy you differently.

Perhaps not always, but you both must sacrifice a little for a peaceful relationship.

4. Be happy about it

And don’t be unwilling about the compromises. If you love one another, small mutual compromises won’t hurt your relationship.

Be optimistic that you found an alternative to please your partner… or, that your partner is willing to please you despite the differences. Change your perceptions to notice the brighter side.

5. Don’t be Judge Judy

Lastly, don’t judge your partner’s likes… neither with others nor inside your mind. If you really doubt their likes, look it up on the internet. Or consult a sex therapist and find out if it’s normal.

If you conceal disapproving thoughts about one another, your relationship can’t survive. It may soon impact your feelings about the relationship.

Unsure what to talk about? Let’s find out…

6 Kinds of Sex talk every couple must have

You learned how important is to talk about sex, you know your basic sex topics. But is that all you’ll talk about? We’re humans… Though to-the-point conversations might be great, some people need more effort.

If you wanna make meaningful conversations, consider these…

1. Regular and timely sex talk

Sex talk isn’t a once-and-for-all work. You gotta continue it at regular and comfortable intervals. The timing and location selection can boost intimacy.

If you choose the correct time, your partner will understand your good intentions and efforts for the relationship.

You can’t always have free time, so setting a time can help you concentrate on the relationship.

2. Interests and disinterests sex talk

When it comes to sexual fantasies and desires, there are endless possibilities. The topics are endless when it comes to both your interests and disinterests.

It can be a new sexual activity, position, or even an unusual location to have sex. Communicating about what you want and can have in the bedroom (or beyond 😉) is a good idea.

Such topics revolve around your comfort zone and push your boundaries for love.

3. The scheduled-sex sex talk

Though anyone is entitled to say NO, too many rejections can discourage us. If the frequency of sex is slowly diminishing in your relationship, it’s time to plan sex dates.

Choose days when you have less responsibility and workload. Some think sex dates take away the excitement of sudden thrill, that’s wrong.

Planned sex allows you to anticipate and prepare more than regular vanilla sex. And of course, there’s a lower chance of rejection. Drive one another insane outside the bedroom to make it more intense.

4. Bedroom cuisine sex talk

There are various kinds of sexual activities in the world. So, let’s categorize them into 1. Things totally want 2. Things you might try 3. Things you’ll never try.

Discuss the first and second categories from time to time. Instead of having the same type of sex every day, add variety to the bedroom.

It’ll define your and your partner’s sex hunger in detail and help you bond deeply.

5. The No-Blindsiding sex talk

An important sex talk includes past traumas. It can be a case of sexual abuse or any sexual trauma. Never brush off or down talk about your partner’s pains and insecurities.

Empathize with your partner when they share such vulnerabilities without any judgment. When you listen to their side of the story, don’t blame them for being impractical in the past.

Your job is to console and reassure them… that you’ll always be there and they’ll never experience it again.

6. The encouraging sex talk

People with different likes don’t feel comfortable or confident about it. They don’t express themselves due to fear of rejection.

So, focus on encouraging them with appreciative words. Validate their feelings and if you feel comfortable, indulge in their preferred activities. Show them that even if different, it’s still possible.

Mental support is necessary whether it’s about sex or other areas of your life.

Lastly, don’t communicate just for the sake of it…

Remember, talking about sex is a skill

Sex talk is a rare art, not everyone can do it as everyone wants to avoid discomfort. But it can help you build the finest relationship ever… so, never skip it.

Sex talk isn’t so usual, eh? Doesn’t that mean it’s a rare skill? Everyone isn’t into it, but it definitely promises you great emotional, mental, physical, and sexual benefits.

Good communication is a part of a healthy relationship… and it’s applicable even in sex. If you express your needs, you’ll open more opportunities to satisfy yourself and your partner mutually.

Avoiding such conversation saves you the discomfort… but in the long haul, it digs a big crack in your relationship. So, be a sex talk craftsman and make wonders in your relationship.

A word from ThePleasantRelationship

If you love your partner, it goes without saying… take responsibility to nourish your relationship. Communication is a great way to nurture what you two have… and it even works on sex. 

To build a healthy sexual relationship, indulge some time and energy to communicate about your needs. If you have sex regularly but feel dissatisfied, that’ll only cultivate resentful feelings. 

Sexually dissatisfied people consider opening relationships or cheating on their partners. But such rash decisions don’t help resolve the relationship issues.

Though not mandated, sex can build deep bonds between two partners. So, take a break today and consider how you want to talk about it.