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20 Serious Psychological Effects Of Being The Other Woman – Know Them Before It’s Too Late!

20 Serious Psychological Effects Of Being The Other Woman – Know Them Before It’s Too Late!

Updated on Nov 01, 2023

20 Serious Psychological Effects Of Being The Other Woman - Know Them Before It’s Too Late!

Before you grab the hand of an unavailable man, you better find out the psychological effects of being the other woman!

It might feel thrilling to be wooed by a man who already has a partner… but confesses that he’s the happiest by your side. 

However, society will hardly point fingers at him… and if anything goes wrong, he might also break things off and deny your bond. 

With that said lots of issues come with this taboo relationship

So, let’s keep reading to beware…

Psychological Effects Of Being The Other Woman  – 20 Effects

When you are the other woman in a relationship, society will villainize you for wrecking someone’s home. You constantly have to stay hidden, and there’s no certainty about being acknowledged. 

Though he promises you to fix things, you might wither away and lose your youth meanwhile. So, before you majorly affect your psychological condition, know these damage points!

1. A lot of initial excitement

When you know that something is inherently wrong, it can produce a lot of adrenaline. You may even romanticize the idea of forbidden love, especially if you are a more reserved person. 

But of course, with time, these feelings of excitement wear out, and you might be left with nothing but the consequences of your action.

2. Feelings of guilt 

When the initial exhilaration from having an affair wears out, a lot of people are left with feelings of guilt and regret. 

You may start putting yourself in the actual partner’s shoes and realize that she does not deserve to be cheated upon. 

The feeling of guilt might get especially stronger when the man has children with that woman. Even when both of you are to blame equally for the ruined family, the burden often falls on the “other woman”!

3. Feelings of uncertainty

When you are the other woman, you never know what the next day might bring. Moreover, unlike a stable and committed relationship, affairs are fragile, and it can feel like they might end at any moment. 

So, you may start obsessing over the possibility of him leaving you at any moment. On top of that, you may be worried that his partner will find out the truth and take things out on you.

4. Bouts of shame

You will obviously suffer from feelings of shame when you are the other woman. The stigma around it is even more than being a ‘side-chick.’ 

Society always sees the other woman as being manipulative and selfish. You might even be considered a ‘home-wrecking gold-digger.’ 

So, it is easy to wonder whether you are a bad person. It is normal to internalize such social beliefs and stereotypes.  

5. Trust issues

It is easy to develop trust issues when you are the other woman. 


Because you may think that just like he is cheating on his partner, he might also be cheating on you. 

The trust issues would be even stronger if he lied about his relationship status when he met you. You will obviously wonder what else he is hiding. 

So, if you even end up being together, you will always be clouded by the fear that he might cheat again. 

6. Feelings of isolation and loneliness

As the other woman, it is not unusual for you to suffer from feelings of isolation and loneliness. Why? 

After all, you can’t easily turn to your usual support system for help about an affair. You can’t confide in your friends and family, so you may often feel alone. 

7. Low self-esteem

It is normal to have low self-esteem when you are the other woman, especially if you feel he is using you for sex. 

You may compare yourself with his partner and wonder what she can offer him that you can’t. You may also start believing you will always be the other woman, whether with him or someone else. 

8. You feel manipulated

Affairs usually have different power dynamics than normal relationships. And, often, the man has the upper hand. 

So, it is easy to feel that you are being manipulated when you are the other woman, especially if he lied to you about his relationship status or about when he’d go public about you. You may feel that his promises are empty and that his affection is false. 

9. The pressure of keeping things a secret can be depressing

There is nothing as sad as being in love with someone and having to hide your feelings from the world. 

No matter how much you want to hold his hand at the grocery store or tell your friends how awesome he is, you can never do so. 

As the other woman, you face the pressure of keeping things a secret – which is depressing. 

10. You might end up losing your patience

You need to have a lot of patience if you are involved with a man in a committed relationship. Since it always comes with the hope that he will leave his partner to be with you. 

You might lose the virtue of patience in all areas of your life from this. 

11. Feelings of anger and resentment

You may have gotten into this relationship thinking he is single, only to find out he is not. In this case, it is normal to develop feelings of anger and resentment towards your partner. 

Even if you knew that he was in a relationship in the first place, you can still feel resentment towards him since you know he is taking both of you for granted. You will obviously feel angry if someone treats you as their second option. 

12. You might stop feeling like yourself

When you have been the other woman for a long time, it is easy to lose yourself in the process. Since your relationship is fragile, you might do anything to keep it from falling apart, even if that means being someone you are not. 

You may believe that if you change certain aspects of yourself to suit his wants and needs, the chances of his leaving you are less. 

Moreover, all the other negative psychological effects can chip away at your identity, leaving you not knowing who you actually are. 

13. It can get physically and emotionally draining

When you have to sneak around all the time, it can add a lot of stress to the equation. Additionally, in order to fulfill his needs, you may try to be someone you are not, which can get tiring after a point. 

It is also obvious that all your needs can never be met in an affair. The rules of the relationship are unclear, and they can even change in a day. 

He may act like you are all he wants one day, and the next day he might pull away. All this stress and confusion can rarely leave you with any energy of your own. 

14. You may emerge stronger after things are over

When you are part of an affair, the only person you can confide in and depend on is yourself, so you learn to live alone. 

You also learn how to manage your expectations and see people for who they are. As you have been able to manage an affair, being in a healthy relationship becomes much easier. When everything is done and dusted, it is possible to emerge stronger. 

15. You might start doubting your intuition and judgment

Once you fall into such a messy situation, there’s no guarantee that you won’t make the same mistake repeatedly.

Whether you got involved in the affair knowingly or unknowingly, you may start doubting your own intuition and judgment. 

“Why did I do it? Is there really a point to an affair? Should I just break up?” 

…you may have a lot of questions! 

You may second guess your morals and feel stupid for believing in him in the first place. If you were unaware of his relationship, you might even hate yourself for missing all the red flags

16. The social stigma might get unbearable

“Why did she choose to become a mistress? Did she know what she was getting into? Does she really not care about what happens to his partner?” 

If the people around you find out that you are someone’s mistress, you will be at the receiving end of a lot of gossip. You can be branded as selfish, immoral, or a homewrecker. 

The stigma can get so bad that people might even stop associating with you, making it impossible to lead a normal life.

17. You will feel disposable and used

Most married men look at their mistresses as a second option. Someone they turn to when things are not flowery at home or someone they can dispose of when it is time to go back. 

When you are just a convenient source of pleasure for someone, it can make you feel like you are easily replaceable. 

You might even feel like you don’t deserve anyone’s whole-hearted commitment, that the most you ever will be is someone’s mistress. 

18. You may suffer from suicidal thoughts

If you did not know that he was married in the first place, you may even suffer from suicidal thoughts. 

Especially when things get unbearable, it is normal to feel disillusioned and hopeless at this point.


Seek help from loved ones ASAP if you or a loved one feels suicidal. Or call the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 988!

19. You may go through extreme highs and lows

Another psychological effect of being the other woman is that you will go through extreme highs and lows when it comes to your emotions. 

You will feel like you are on top of the world when everything is well and good in your affair, but things will turn bleak every time he goes back to his partner. 

It might get so bad that you start questioning your own sanity. 

20. An extreme amount of restlessness and even insomnia

The emotional turmoil of being someone’s mistress can cause anxiety, restlessness, and even insomnia. 

You may feel that your thoughts are always racing and that there is no way to make them stop. You may ruminate over the validity and longevity of the relationship, and you may even lose sleep wondering how things got so messy. 

A word from ThePleasantRelationship

Whether you experience one or more psychological effects of being the other woman, remember to seek professional help ASAP!

However, that’s not all, you must know your value and never settle for being his second option. Get out of this situation as soon as possible. 

Even if you can’t cut off all contact with him, stop the affair. Practice self-care and heal!

Most importantly, remember that just because you have been someone’s mistress, it does not mean that you will never have a fulfilling relationship. 

Are you interested to know more about ‘Signs He Regrets Cheating’ then click here?