So you want to know how to be a better partner because you feel your partner deserves the best.
I’m so delighted to know you’re ready to go the extra mile for your partner’s happiness and to build a perfect relationship!
That’s why I’m here with this think-piece that has all the ideas you need for a dreamy and romantic relationship… with lots of understanding and support.
So, let’s not dilly-dally and head right in!
How to be a better partner in a relationship? – 40 Tips
Whether in romance novels or movies, couples are always so in love with each other and the relationship works out anyhow. It’s as if the entire world helps them to build a strong and blissful romantic relationship.
But in reality, that’s hardly the case. In fact, you must work on yourself and become someone worthy of your partner.
And you guessed it right… it’s not as easy as the movies, but it’s not that hard either!
So, let me show you the way to be your partner’s King or Queen here…
1. Make a routine to spend time
In committed relationships, spending time is a powerful way to keep the foundation strong. However, in long-term relationships, people forget about it.
So, if you particularly want to know how to be a better partner in marriage, schedule a fixed time every day to check in, talk about your day, show affection and love in your own way.
Even if you have a busy lifestyle, make this a non-negotiable necessity!
2. Show your partner they got your undivided attention
When you spend time together and your partner talks about something, make sure you avert your gaze from your smartphone, TV, computer, or even that engrossing book.
Pay attention and make your partner feel heard and cherished. Nod to them and be expressive about your thoughts as the situation demands.
Your partner will fall in love with how much you care about them. This reduces any chances of misunderstandings and you both grow closer than ever.
3. Make the greetings romantic
When you return home or leave for somewhere, do you only say “I’m back” and “I’m leaving, goodbye”?
So, in this situation, how to be a good partner?
Take a second to cherish these moments with a tight hug and sneaky kiss every time you barge in and out of the house.
Not to be gloomy, but we don’t know when is our last goodbye… and it’s really awesome that you can meet once again even if you stepped out only to the market.
4. Accept and acknowledge them
In a committed relationship, being accepted and acknowledged with “I feel you… I understand you…” works like magic. Everyone feels better when their loved one validates their feelings.
So, even if you don’t feel the same about something, don’t brush it off. Instead, try to understand your partner before you acknowledge their feelings.
If you wish to be a great partner, be warm and welcoming so that they open up and make you understand their part.
5. Understand the difference between responding and reacting
To know how to be a better person in a relationship, learn to control your feelings and impulses during conflicts.
Partners in a relationship sometimes ignore each other’s point of view. They misunderstand and react negatively to small triggers.
Whenever you feel you’ll snap, take a deep breath and reframe that bitter reaction with a neutral response to avoid hurting or agitating your partner.
Even if your partner snaps and you respond calmly, they’ll notice your efforts and try to be respectful towards you.
6. Talk about the criticisms with compliments
In a romantic relationship, your partner’s shortcomings aren’t that obvious initially. But eventually, you notice them, and things don’t seem as rosy.
Finally, you can’t avoid pointing out your partner’s flaws. Otherwise, it hurts the quality of your relationship. It might even come off like a criticism.
So, relationship experts advice sneaking criticisms in between two compliments to soften the blow. This diminishes the possibilities of misunderstandings and fights because your partner knows you also recognize their good traits.
7. Listen to them
Most men forget that the ears are a crucial part of clear communication. They don’t pay attention when their women talk.
So, if you want to know how to have a better relationship with your girlfriend, this is your solution.
Don’t just hear what they say… listen carefully and understand their feelings. Don’t take the words at their face value or try to find a quick fix for their complaints.
Register the hidden emotions and reasons and treat them kindly… a long and tight hug might make it all better.
8. Seek a psychotherapist
Most of us need to get our mental health checked but we’re too ashamed of it. But, sometimes, deep-seated issues or past trauma can spoil a perfectly functional and healthy relationship.
So, if you snap too easily, can’t control your emotions, or channel the bitterness of some other area of your life on your partner… these are minute indicators to see an expert.
Be self-aware and learn to cope with stress and manage emotions with professional help. Your therapist might even help you communicate better which will help you maintain a healthy relationship.
9. Discuss about your sexual desires often
Sex and relationship coaches suggest being verbal about your sexual needs and desires on a regular basis. This boosts sexual satisfaction in the relationship and makes you irresistible to your partner.
So, just because your partner told you they like one kind of sexual activity, don’t assume that’s all they like!
With regular open and honest communication, know more about each other’s needs, grow intimate, and enjoy a bomb sex life.
10. Distribute the chores equally
When romantic partners cohabit, proportional chore distribution is the key to peaceful and good relationships. If you’re both working adults, you’ll both be too tired to take care of the entire household.
Especially, if you’re a man in a heterosexual relationship, don’t expect your girl to take care of everything.
Join your forces to deal with the responsibilities and get done for the day. This will make your partner realize you’re a loving and caring person.
11. Learn about attachment style and work on it
Your attachment style also rules how you behave in your relationship. An avoidantly-attached person believes people must deal with their issues by themselves. An anxiously-attached person feels that they’re needy.
Since attachment styles influence your life so much… must you let it be?
Not at all!
Instead, communicate openly and honestly to identify your style and understand how to respond to these triggering emotions.
That’s a lot of work and I know you’ll be just fine with your love and devotion.
12. Initiate contact once in a while
Do you want to know how to build a better relationship with your boyfriend?
Well, most women think it’s the guy’s job to text first, initiate sex, ask them out on dates, or even pay for dinner dates.
It’s hard to step out of this mindset. But think again, women have been “concocted” to be in the kitchen, but females are ruling the world right now!
So, try to initiate any plan at least once a week and rule his heart.
13. Shower specific and tailored compliments
“You look so pretty”, “That color looks awesome on you”, or “You’re talented”… you can use these compliments on anyone around you. So, doesn’t the love of your life deserves more than these generic praises?
Next time, tell your girl what exactly looks pretty about her… it might be her dress, a haircut, or new makeup. Or, include the reason why you find your boyfriend intelligent.
Compliments with details are so much sexier and heart touching… you can only know it once you try!
14. Be responsible for your words
If you promise to do something, keep your word till the end. Broken promises and disappointments bitterly affect your relationship.
Of course, sometimes life doesn’t follow the expected course. But other than that, make sure you don’t forget to follow through.
Don’t give your partner the chance to nag you as that drives a wedge in between you guys. If you’re forgetful, set alarms and memos to remind yourself. Impress bae with your consistency and help your relationship thrive.
15. Never brush them off during their bad times
When your partner complains about their life, never try to make it sound insignificant with “You’re having it easy!”
Try to put yourself in their shoes before you pass such remarks… and you’ll understand their struggle. Focus on making them feel good instead of disparaging them.
If you can’t advise them of anything useful, that’s okay! Just stay beside them, a tight hug, a few pats, and strokes, and that’ll calm them down and make them feel emotionally secure.
16. Good eye contact for the win!
Intimate relationships thrive with eye contact. So, when you spend time together and talk to your partner, look deep into their eyes and dive into those deep orbs.
This creates a romantic ambiance and also makes your partner feel heard. It shows you’re mentally present with them at the moment which deepens your bond to new levels.
If your partner feels too shy and averts their gaze, hold their chin to look towards you and create an intense romantic situation.
17. Touch but not for sex
Most women feel that men touch them only when they want sex. It’s not true for many men and they feel a bit uncertain about physical contact… because “what if she takes the wrong hint?”
Well, stop hesitating and break the touch barrier with non-sexual contact.
Hold hands when you walk together, snuggle up while watching movies, hug for longer before bidding goodbyes, and melt your partner’s heart while intensifying your bond.
18. Identify your partner’s love language
There are 5 love languages: acts of service, words of affirmation, getting gifts, physical touch, and quality time. If you both have different love languages, your actions might not reach each other’s hearts.
So, find your individual love languages, to shower affection in their language. If your partner likes physical touch, then hold hands and hug and kiss them more often.
If they like acts of service, help them out with the chores. This will put across your loving emotions better to your partner.
19. Be verbal about your intentions
In your mind, you know how deeply you love your partner and how far you’re ready to make compromises to keep them in your life.
However, they won’t know an ounce of your overflowing love for them unless you mention it. So, go ahead and verbally express your feelings.
Whether you face hardships or relish the good times together, remind them of your undying love and will to stay beside them.
20. Never take them for granted
Your partner does so much for you… but a lot of them go unnoticed. They don’t expect you to get anything in return because they act out of pure love.
But, everyone isn’t as lucky as you and it’s not your partner’s duty to wake you up, cook for you, or even do your laundry. Since they still support you incessantly, at least show them gratitude.
Compliment their dishes or tell them that you rested well for them, and even pay them back with a massage. Do something to make them happy.
21. Focus on quality time with your partner
So, last week you spent more time together because you both stayed at home. Well, being physically around isn’t the same as quality time.
For instance, if you’re both busy reading your novels and snoozing on the couch together… that doesn’t help the situation.
Instead, keep away these distractions, talk with each other, share the stories about the week, and pay undivided attention to truly connect and be a good partner.
22. Know yourself better
Another way to be a better partner is to understand yourself, your issues, and your strengths and weaknesses. Focus on your personal growth and work on your shortcomings. You can avoid violent reactions and act maturely in your relationship that way.
When you won’t act defensively and present your best to your partner, they’ll naturally feel more valued and loved. You’ll hurt your partner less, create fewer misunderstandings, and build a healthy relationship.
23. Don’t depend on them for happiness
More often than not, people assume that romantic partners will bring positivity and happiness to their life. However, such expectations only make your relationship sour… because that’s not possible.
Instead, find your happiness yourself. Do things that make you happy.
If you want to go shopping, don’t wait for your partner to take you out shopping. If you want to watch a movie and your partner doesn’t have time… watch it alone.
If you know the path to happiness, take that instead of depending on someone else because that’s unfair.
24. Create common goals
Mutual goals always make you feel united and believe you’re one unit and not two different people. So, create some right away and work on them to show your determination to stay together in the long run.
It can be as small as trying to save more this year, finding a unique date idea, or learning a new language together. Or, it can be as big as moving in together, buying new furniture and a car, or getting married.
25. Discuss the kind of relationship dynamics you desire
We all have some sort of expectations from our partners. If they fulfill them, you’ll feel even more loved.
For instance, you might expect your boyfriend to prioritize you over a game night with the boys or hope that your girl doesn’t exhaust the monthly budget when she’s out with the girls.
These expectations aren’t wrong… but if untold, your partner might unknowingly hurt you. But that’s totally not worth it!
Because you and I both know your lover means you no harm. So, be a great partner and communicate to fix this situation.
26. Do at least one favor for your partner
To be a great partner, live by this motto: A small nice thing for your partner every day keeps the misunderstandings away!
I truly can’t help you out on this one because you’ll know better what your partner loves. Oh, and if you’re worried about your budget… well, it has nothing to do with gifts.
Instead, think about what actions your partner likes. It might be massages, talking till late at night, getting help with chores, putting the kids to bed, or anything else.
27. Don’t force your partner to invest in your hobbies
Most relationship experts remind you to align your interests to spend more time together while bonding over the activities. However, don’t forget that your partner also has their likes and dislikes.
You can’t force them to join in your hobbies every single time. Sure, it’s more fun to watch that chick-flick while sobbing on your man’s shoulders… or scream your lungs out at the baseball match and hug when your team wins.
But sometimes, allow your partner space if they ask and they’ll know they got the best partner ever.
28. Don’t try to be RIGHT in every fight
During fights, most couples dive into a battle to prove themselves right. Have you ever wondered that you both might be right but differ in perceptions?
Think this way: since you’re both right at your own place, take a peek at the other’s perspective.
To be a better partner, you just need to try harder and find the middle ground… instead of finding faults with your partner. If your partner feels heard and respected, you’re naturally the best man/woman for them.
29. Don’t expect parental care from them
Remember how your parents jumped in to solve your problems and you didn’t even move a finger? You probably think “Nah that’s not our relationship!” Well, most of us do it unknowingly, so think again.
Do you clean your dishes after you’re done? Do you heal on your own after facing troubles?
Be responsible for your weaknesses and don’t make your partner deal with those… they have their own stuff to deal with. A good partner must act maturely and independently deal with their situation.
30. Be consciously supportive of their dreams
If your partner talks about their dreams, just do everything in your hands to support them. If you’re unsure, ask them about it and you’ll find an entirely new side of your partner.
To be a good partner, cheer your partner’s journey and support them. Help them to reach their goals faster and encourage them if they fail. If you find any issue with your partner’s goals, share good insight and suggestions… they’ll be so glad to have you.
31. Take interest in their hobbies
Whenever possible and you’re in the mood, join your partner in their hobbies. If you show interest in your partner’s favorites, they’ll know you wish to understand them better.
They’ll be over the moon to know you’re ready to go the extra mile to spend time together and even do the same for you.
If they like gardening, help them get the fertilizer and learn to garden together. If they like to paint, get yourself a canvas and paint and join them on the porch.
32. Plan dates more often
A date night becomes a story of yesteryears when the relationship grows old. This takes a huge toll on partners’ confidence as they both feel undesired.
Moreover, a monotonous routine life makes people cranky and less open which wrecks a relationship.
So, in your journey to be a better partner, include having dates for the rest of eternity. Your partner doesn’t need a candlelight dinner at a 5-star restaurant… just take them on park strolling or movie dates and that’ll sweep them off their feet.
33. Do more than just telling
“I love you” and “you mean the world to me” are sweet… good partners say that all the time. But to be a better partner, convert your words into actions. Because otherwise, your partner won’t believe you.
Invest in small gestures like texting to know if they reached their destination. Or, bring them their favorite ice cream on your way back from the office.
Ask about their day if they told you they were nervous about it. The little things will stay on their mind forever as cherished memories and level you up.
34. Never judge them
You both are different individuals with unique experiences. So, sometimes, you guys may not do things the same way.
Whether it’s their past mistakes or their future decisions… it may not be perfect. But don’t judge them too fast and try to understand their part of the story.
If you think they might commit a mistake without your interference, don’t move forward with criticisms. As a good partner, use a calm and loving tone so they’ll know that you only want the best for them.
35. Help them out more than you promised
So, tonight it’s their turn to take out the trash but they had a long day and returned late, do it on their behalf. You told them you’ll grab the groceries after work… and you remember that their favorite ice cream is available, surprise them with a tub.
If you get off work early and you’re both free for the evening, plan a spontaneous date. Do more than you’re expected to do and be the partner of their dreams.
36. Patience is the trick
Everyone is imperfect and tries to improve themselves every day. The same goes for you and your partner… so, whenever your partner messes up, don’t flip out or criticize them for that.
Instead, calmly and respectfully express how it affects you and how they must act or behave in certain situations.
If you treat them patiently, your partner will not only understand better but also be ready to be their best for you. They’ll be so grateful to have you in their life.
37. Be more curious
Whether your partner shares gossip or complains about your actions, ask them to be more elaborate and listen. They’ll understand that you’re listening to them and that you take their issues seriously.
This will also help you understand your partner’s side of the story and grow deeper. If it’s an issue about you, you’ll know exactly what your partner expects from you and be a better partner as per their wish.
38. Respect their loved ones
If you love your partner to the moon and back but ignore their friends and family, your feelings won’t get across to them.
So, you can be a better partner if you remember their parents’ and siblings’ birthdays and anniversaries and even help bae organize a surprise party for them.
When you get along with your bae’s family and friends, they’ll feel you truly care for them. They’ll also feel more confident about the relationship… because everyone approves of your love!
39. Focus on financial stability
In a stable relationship, love, sex, and compromises aren’t all. Money is a big part of your life after all it brings food to your plate.
So, make sure you work hard, become financially stable, and also encourage your partner to do the same. Choose savings, investment, and credit card plans together.
So, how does this make you a better partner?
Well, it shows that you’re dedicated to your partner and pictures a future together. This reassures them that you only want them in your life.
40. Stay loyal, no matter what!
One of your exes was aesthetically prettier than your current partner, another was more intelligent. It’s okay to appreciate your exes’ good traits. But never, even in your heart, compare your partner with your exes.
Otherwise, the negatives will creep into your relationship and ruin your healthy foundation.
Make sure you’re dedicated only to your current partner and think about nobody else… and you’ll naturally become the best partner for them!
A word from ThePleasantRelationship
Remember, these small yet powerful efforts will definitely make you the better partner in your relationship. But you can build a loving and healthy relationship only if your partner reciprocates equally.
Otherwise, you might resent them for not giving as much energy to your relationship and become tired of it. So, don’t just be better… set an example for your partner.
Express what you want in your relationship honestly. With clear and open communication, you’ll be a great partner and enjoy a sweet love life.
Surabhi wakes up every day with a drive to craft words that can create a soulful impact. Creatively adventurous, she is always seeking to learn new skills and acquire new experiences. With a hidden soft corner for languages (especially Urdu), she writes poetry occasionally, binges on romantic shows, and LOVES to talk. A hustler, admirer, chaser, Surabhi is just another-someone who refused to give up on her dreams. She says, she is just somebody who’s trying to make herself a writer and for now, she’s just writing...