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Green Flags in a Relationship – 40 Signs You’ve a Keeper

Green Flags in a Relationship – 40 Signs You’ve a Keeper

Updated on Nov 21, 2022

Reviewed by Julianne Cantarella, MSW, LSW , Certified Relationship Coach

Green Flags in a Relationship – 40 Signs You’ve a Keeper

Do you know what are some green flags in a relationship? Or, do you only try to steer clear of the red flags?

Since most people know about red flags but not green ones, they successfully choose a potential partner with whom they might build a relationship… but there’s no assurance.

This is because green flags help you know if you both can work things out in the long run.

For this, many of them repeatedly try to build a healthy and long-lasting relationship… But, alas! I feel my heart being torn into pieces when people give up on love… only because of such trivial matters.  

But don’t worry, I won’t let that happen to you!

With my think-piece, let’s head to an everlasting relationship together…

Green Flags in a Relationship Meaning

Relationship green flags are signs that indicate that you can enjoy a healthy relationship with a person.

In a relationship, green flags are the signs that tell you that a person is worth the shot. The signs reassure you that you can safely proceed to build a healthy relationship with them.

Green flags also work as signposts to understand if you’re feeling safe and secure enough to commit to them. These also help you understand that the new relationship is still on the right course.

So, naturally, you’ll desire a person with a lot of green flags. However, it all comes to your own preference, so you must understand your needs first.

Curious about the connection between red and green flags in relationships? Let’s find out here…

Red vs Green Flags in Relationships

Though green flags show you the reasons to build a long-lasting relationship with someone, red flags are serious signs to avoid a person romantically.

The difference between green and red flags is pretty simple. While green flags tell you to “Go” for the relationship, red flags are the bad signs that say “Stop” and evaluate the situation closely before you proceed.

Wondering if your relationship has all the green flags? Anxious if you missed any important one? Let’s look for them here…

40 Green Flags in Relationships

“Who in the world falls in love with a checklist?”

I agree love is the most irrational emotion of all. It makes people crazy and act like fools. You bet your entire life and try to align your life with your lover… but let’s return to reality!

What if the relationship doesn’t last? What if you’re not the fated partner you thought you were?

I don’t mean to scare you… but this is the importance of green flags! With a good amount of green flags, you can be sure of your future. So, if you’re ready, let’s see where your relationship leads you to…

1. They never go around in circles about their feelings

One of the greatest green flags in a relationship is that your partner must never leave you guessing “What are we?”, “Where do I stand in their life?”, “Are we dating?”, or “Do they love me?”

Before such thoughts even creep up in your mind, they’ll verbally express their feelings. After all, why will anybody beat around the bush when their crush/partner might get swept away by someone else?

Your love language might differ, but they’ll show you they’re madly in love with you and make it a point that you understand.

2. Respect > love!

Try paying attention to your partner’s behavior towards you, your close ones, and random strangers. It’s a big red flag if your partner doesn’t treat people other than you, your friends, and family members kindly.

Suppose, if they can’t treat service workers patiently, that’s their true color in daily life. You never know when they’ll lose patience and treat you the same.

On the other hand, if they treat the cashier kindly and even thank them for their hard work, that’s a great sign as they’ll always put in the effort to help others when they need it.

3. Spending time with you is “PRIORITY”

In a romantic relationship, if your partner goes the extra mile to spend time with you even if it’s for a minute more, that’s a big green flag! They can do it only if they truly care and yearn for you.

However, that doesn’t mean they can always make it… we don’t live in a romance drama, unfortunately! Sometimes, even if they want it, situations don’t permit it, so don’t go too hard on them.

But if you notice a pattern of excuses to not spend time with you, that’s a concern.

4. They won’t dismiss your feelings ever

When you’re in a relationship, your entire world starts revolving around each other… and you expect your partner to at least understand your feelings and listen to you even during arguments.

If they’re ready to hear your side of the story during conflicts and consider your thoughts and feelings… even when they still have different opinions… that’s a major green flag.

On the other hand, if they act defensive or give you the cold shoulder… remember that life is too short to feel miserable forever, honey.

5. They don’t need a nanny to deal with their emotions

When they face difficulties, pay attention to how they deal with them, whether they try to do it independently or involve you every single time.

Notice if they try to bottle up their emotions or channel them towards an innocent person… if they do, those scream ISSUES!

In this context, it’s a big green flag if they deal with their problems and emotions by themselves and express everything gently without hurting others.

This shows that they can process their emotions and work on themselves without burdening others.

6. They try to meet your genuine needs

Another major green flag in relationships is when a person actually puts effort to grant you what you truly need… and not assume something that you might need.

Usually, in relationships, partners don’t wait to notice each other’s needs and they jump to conclusions too fast. They either forget to give their partners a chance to voice their needs or just overwrite their needs with their assumptions… which leads to major relationship issues.

So, if your partner doesn’t make you repeatedly beg to fulfill your needs, that’s a good sign.

7. At least, you’re not completely sexually incompatible

I don’t ask you to be shallow enough to judge a person’s sexual skills, how long they last in bed, or how loud they scream.

You might not even have the same kinds of sexual desires and fantasies and still, make the relationship work. However, sexual satisfaction is always an important part of a relationship.

So, even if your partner can’t keep going for too long, if they focus on satisfying you even after that, that’s a huge green flag… I’d say just arrest them because they’re that good.

8. They never mind future talks

One of the most important relationships green flags is your partner’s comfort with topics regarding a future together.

This might not be as vivid in the early stages of a relationship, but when you’re together for long enough, it’s natural to dream about settling down, getting married, having kids, buying a house, and everything else in a long-term partnership.

So, bring up these topics and observe if your partner participates in these conversations equally and even contributed their ideas to it. If they don’t consistently avoid these conversations, you hit the jackpot!

9. “Go live a life, honey!”

Fairy tales always misguided us about real-life relationships… your life doesn’t magically revolve around your partner after falling in love and the other areas of your life don’t disappear or become insignificant.

So, if your partner encourages you to stay dedicated to other important areas of your life like your career, family, friends, and even hobbies… or even scolds you when you lose your sight… that’s a sureshot green flag of a keeper.

By this, they won’t let you become overly dependent on them as it’s an unhealthy trait.

10. You become a part of their inner circle

When a person doesn’t try to introduce you to their close ones, it shows that they’re not yet sure about committing to you or they already have someone else and you’re the side-chick/guy.

So, if your romantic partner tries to eagerly involve you in their regular life, this marks their commitment to the relationship.

It shows that they enjoy your presence and can’t wait to spend the future with you.

11. Your boundaries never get violated

Since you and your partner are two unique people, your boundaries might not always coincide well and it can be hard to maintain them strictly. However, respecting boundaries is one of the basic ways to keep a relationship as fit as a fiddle.

So, if your man/woman doesn’t flip out to your refusal and instead says “I understand” with a silly smile even when they keenly want something else… major GREEN FLAG ALERT!

Their reactions to your boundary show how much they respect you and if they’ll ask others to respect them too.

12. They’ll scream their lungs out to cheer for you

Until now, whenever you faced troubles in your life and felt hopeless, remember how your partner reacted. Romantic partners must be each other’s greatest pillar and source of courage.

During tough situations, if they never failed to cheer for you, always had more faith in you than any of your loved ones, helped you see the brighter side to every situation, and left you wondering why they believe in you so much… that’s your fated one with a green flag in hand.

13. Every other person is fond of them

Relationship experts always suggest getting more insights about your partner’s personality from people they know for longer if it’s a new relationship.

Since your emotions and feelings for them will stick the rose-tinted glasses with superglue, you can’t be the best judge of their character. So, hear the reality from their close ones.

If not just their friends and siblings, but even the kids down the lane or the granny from the market praise them, that’s the green flag of a great catch!

14. They know every little thing about you

Licensed marriage and family therapists suggest a small trick to understand whether the one you lost your heart to really pays attention to you and deserves you at all.

Take note if they remember small yet crucial details like your favorite bubble tea flavor and whether they get it for you when you’re feeling low. Or, if they allow you space and take extra care of you on your grandparent’s death anniversary.

If you have positive replies to both, this green flag urges you to hold them tight for the rest of your life.

15. They keep their end of the bargain

Though relationships are quite rosy and liberating in the early years, the picture changes with time. Love doesn’t fade but it changes form.

In long-running relationships, whether partners keep their promises or not becomes an important factor when the rose-tinted glasses come off.

So, notice how frequently your partner follows through with their words. If they do, that’s a sign of being a good person and also a great partner for your future.

The green flag also shows that they have a great moral compass and will always be fair towards you.

16. They won’t rush you to meet their folks

It’s great if your partner wants to introduce you to their family… but partners might not always be on the same page. It doesn’t imply that you don’t love them or your emotions aren’t that strong… but pace matters in a relationship.

So, if you’re not ready to meet their friends or parents and they scream profanities at you and doubt your loyalty, that’s your cue to walk out.

But if they hug you after hearing you and say something like “I’m ready to wait for an eternity”… this green flag shows they’re one in a million.

17. They brag about you to everyone

Just to clarify, I’m not talking about the shallow bragging about your appearances, money, status, or power.

It’s about how partners talk highly and fondly about each other to everyone about each other… kinda similar to how your parents called every relative in the world when you ranked first in class.

So, if your partner always praises you to their inner circle until you get a text message from one of them like “Please take your lover away… he/she’s making me sick with his/her lovesickness”… that’s the ultimate green flag.

18. You have a fair share of eye contact

So, does it mean a relationship without enough eye contact is bound to go down in flames? Absolutely not. And must you dig holes through your partner’s eyes with the staring game? Again, NO!

In a healthy relationship, while communicating or when you spend time together if your partner avoids eye contact, that shows they’re either hiding something or can’t be vulnerable to you.

But, if they lovingly hold eye contact once in a while in these situations even when you don’t talk, this is a green flag about their openness to intimacy.

19. They’re open to discussing expectations soon

Every person has hope for something different from their partner and unless you spill the beans, neither of you will know.

So, one of the most prominent green flags in a new relationship is when your partner asks about your desires from a relationship, shares their own, and tries to figure out together if you guys are a good match whether physically or emotionally.

They mustn’t dodge such conversations even if you bring it up… and rather, they must discuss it in the dating phase. This shows how serious they are about the relationship.

20. They know how to care for themselves

If your partner follows a healthy lifestyle with a good diet, regular exercise, and self-care, they understand their physical and emotional needs well.

So, how is it linked with relationship green flags?

Well, a person that understands themselves can easily be open and honest about their feelings, life, and needs. They can show their vulnerabilities easily in a romantic relationship.

This saves you the pain of “cracking a tough nut”. A healthy relationship is all about comfortably expressing yourself to each other.

21. They check-in whenever possible

Romantic partners can’t stick to each other 24/7. However, you might be worried sick without a word from your partner or you might even fall sick.

So, partners must stay in touch when they don’t meet even through a text message.

So, if your partner tries to know if you’re safe or shares small details about their whereabouts and when they’ll get home, that’s a good green flag.

Though it’s not important to report everything about their life and you might have others to care for you during your sickness, this good habit shows you’re on their mind.

22. They want to know all of you

Another of the most important relationship green flags is your partner’s interest to bond emotionally.

If a person only approaches you for sexual satisfaction, that’s pretty much a bad sign of a fickle relationship. A healthy relationship needs sex, but that’s not all… a healthy emotional bond is a must.

So, if you guys spend time outside the bedroom poking fun at each other, playing like kids, picking each other’s brains, or just lazing about on your day offs, this is the real deal.

23. They know you don’t care about other guys/girls

A good relationship needs immense trust to stand strong through tough times. After all, you’ll be each other’s only ally and secret-keeper for the rest of your lives.

So, if your partner doesn’t demand you to share your device or social media passwords, believes you when you text your location instead of asking demanding your live location or doesn’t force you to share anything uncomfortable – be it your past or intimate pictures – that shows they trust you more than themselves.

Without trust, a relationship can’t sustain for long.

24. The relationship has no drama

Media always depicted love relationships with lots of twists and turns of jealousy, exes, and everything else to brew drama. However, those are awful signs of an unhealthy relationship.

Pay attention to how you feel about your relationship. If something makes you feel overwhelmed, honey, that’s definitely not passion… even if the media portrays it that way.

Contrarily, if you feel your love life is easy, effortless, and feels you with the warm feelings of being cherished and appreciated, that’s the green flag everyone needs.

25. They apologize when they must

You and your partner are human beings so you’ll make mistakes more than once. So, will you hold grudges or find excuses to blame each other? Of course, not.

In healthy relationships, partners must know how to own their mistakes instead of shifting the blames or acting defensively.

When your partner is wrong, if they readily take responsibility for their wrongdoings, apologize, and put effort into not repeating the same mistakes, that’s an amazing green flag.

This proves that they cherish you and are ready to emotionally grow with you.

26. You feel you share an unexplainable connection

In my first love, I felt a deep connection with my crush… but turned out they weren’t the one! So, if you depend on your hormones and emotions, you might not find the right answer.

To know if this green flag exists in your relationship or not, observe if you guys can complete each other’s sentences or know what your man/woman wants with one look.

Or, if you both give each other space even before either of you asks, you have that secret connection or deeper compatibility.

27. Your instincts say it all

Before you say that it’s silly to follow your gut instincts, let me tell you it’s not! Because your instincts are part of your sixth sense and all the instinctual conclusions are a simple answer to the complicated signals of real life.

So, when you’re with the right person, their actions will naturally send the signal “They are the one”. Notice how you feel around your partner.

If you constantly get a feeling that they’ll leave you, it’s because of their insincerity. But if you feel they’re here to stay… BINGO! You got a green flag.

28. You feel genuinely happy around them

Trust me, if you’re with the wrong person, you’ll try to bail out of every meeting with them or think “Here we go again… I can’t wait for this date to end!”

But, if you can’t calm your heart for the next date, feel immensely relaxed, and even show your childish antics to them, they truly make you feel good as you feel accepted and appreciated.

And what else is more important for a lovesick heart than pure joy?

This green flag often goes unnoticed because of other factors like finance and sex, but make sure you prioritize it.

29. They aren’t bitter about their ex

Though exes are a touchy topic, never avoid conversations about them as you’ll know better about each other. You can even spot major red flags before you go too deep in the relationship.

So, if your partner talks about their ex and the last relationship with neutral language and even learned from their past, that’s a green flag about their maturity and readiness for a new relationship.

However, if they still look regretful and use the language of admiration for their ex… or, curse them and tell you that you’re much better than the ex… reassess the relationship.

30. You indulge in effortless conversations

Whoa, there! Before you think awkward pauses in your relationship mean they’re toxic, let me explain!

In the early stages of dating, awkward silences are natural and cute because you both have no idea about each other but still try your best.

However, if you still face uncomfortable gaps while communicating even after months in your relationship… that shows you guys hardly have much in common. Possibly you stay together and don’t even enjoy your time.

But if you can have a heart-to-heart without long pauses, it’s green all the way!

31. But you also soak in comfortable silences

Of course, being in love doesn’t mean you guys must chatter away constantly. That’s not humanly possible either. But when your conversations run into dead ends, your feelings about it can answer your concerns.

So, during the long pauses in between your conversations, if you comfortably bask in their presence by your side, cherish every detail about your life and around you, feel relaxed, and don’t mentally fumble for a new topic, that’s a green flag in this scenario.

32. You don’t feel judged for being you

Often in the first stages of dating or getting to know someone, people try to conceal their alleged dark and shameful side. You don’t want your date to know that after getting drunk you baby talk or that you prefer eating any food with your hands.

However, your partner eventually finds out about your secrets through some crazy situations. But the real deal is their reaction to that.

If they find your craziness unique and cute… laugh at you but feel you’re adorable, that’s a green flag on cupid’s arrow!

33. They urge you to grow even through differences

A couple where both partners have the same interests and aversions… sounds like an illusion out of a fairy tale! Though that sounds so romantic because both partners do things they like together, that’s unrealistic.

In case you and your partner have many differences, this is a good place to hunt for flags.

So, if your partner expects you to invest more time in their favorite activities or resents you for not doing so, that’s definitely a red flag of immaturity.

But if they happily urge you to have your time apart with respective interests, they prioritize you feeling good about the relationship and understand each of your needs… a good green flag indeed!

34. They’ll compromise but also have limits

A good partner will definitely understand that you have differences and try their best to adjust. Sometimes they’ll let you have your way and other times they’ll find a middle ground for you both.

However, don’t expect them to be pushovers or agreeable people. Another great relationship green flag is when your partner not only knows how to compromise but also holds their boundaries.

They won’t allow you to violate their basic morals, or values, or get taken advantage of. So, don’t misunderstand if you spot this wise trait.

35. Their compliments make your flutter

Any of your suitors can say a few sweet words about your appearance to flatter you. But you don’t take them seriously… probably most of these compliments are from a famous site, online.

An important green flag to literally jump in someone’s arms is when their compliments are genuine. They won’t be applicable to any random person… but be tailored just for you.

Your dream partner will compliment you on your personality and hard work… which is possible only after knowing you well.

This interesting sign also shows they’ve had their eyes on you for quite a while… Now isn’t that romantic?

36. They’ll make you cackle like hyenas

A joke or meme can make you giggle for a while, but you’ll forget it with time. After all, generic jokes get boring and insignificant with time.

However, if someone makes you laugh out loud with your mouth open until your stomach hurts and your eyes well up with tears… oh boy, now that’s what I call a worthy green flag.

Your sense of humor will match theirs and they’ll always look for ways to make you laugh whenever you’re together. Of course, they’ll even make themselves the butt of the joke… but not always.

37. You’ll feel safe even when they criticize and tease you

Since nobody can put on a perfect show all the time, you’ll also make a few mistakes once in a while. In such situations, take note of your partner’s reactions.

If they criticize you constructively, i.e., teach you how to improve yourself even before others find faults in you… if they tease you about your antics but don’t let others joke about you… these are some important green flags for a healthy relationship.

In the end, if you’re feeling safe and secure with them but never self-conscious even when they scold you, go for that person.

38. They know the thin line between being protective and being control-freak

By all means, take responsibility for your own safety. Don’t expect your partner to babysit you and punch everyone that gets in your way. Remember that in this world, you can’t expect someone else to be your savior.

However, if your partner always makes sure that you’re feeling safe and protected around them, that isn’t a bad idea.

Despite your gender, if your partner tries to protect you in their own way (maybe not with physical strength), that’s a big deal. Even if you don’t need their support, you’ll know they’ll always support you and this reassurance itself is a green flag.

39. They have genuine friends of the opposite gender

Before everyone starts screaming that’s a red flag… c’mon, which century is it? It’s normal for people of the opposite genders to be friends… but not “someone you mustn’t worry about”.

So, if your partner has authentic friends of the opposite gender and both parties consider each other nothing more than friends, that’s a crazy good green flag as they can keep their lust under control.

If you’re wondering what if your partner has no feelings for them but the friend has some… well, explain your worries and anxieties to your partner respectfully. Don’t accuse them of cheating.

But if they take your word seriously, that’s a bonus green flag… but if they brush off your warning, think again.

40. They don’t mind sharing expenses

People believe the one who asks the other out on a date must always pay for the night. Though that’s great in the early dating stages, that mustn’t continue when you’re in a full-fledged relationship.

So, if you pay for your partner most of the time and they have stable finances, it’s time to check what’s on their mind.

Go shopping with your partner and tell them that you forgot your wallet. If they offer to pay completely or even partially, that’s a decent green flag. However, if they don’t try to reach for their wallet at all, they might be a scammer.

A word from ThePleasantRelationship

Identifying red flags in your relationship is great… but make sure you don’t get too focused on them as they create unnecessary negativity in your life.

Moreover, as you seek green flags in your partner, don’t forget to exhibit the desired traits yourself in the relationship. So, if you want your partner to communicate openly, make sure you also communicate and listen to them clearly.

But, if you feel your partner is perfect but a certain attractive green flag is missing, express your worries and needs from the relationship.

Your partner might not know what you need in the relationship yet still be more than willing to yield to your desires. So, before judging them, definitely talk.

Sometimes, small talk is all you need to sustain a relationship!