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20 Signs He is Fantasizing about Someone Else & Betraying You 

20 Signs He is Fantasizing about Someone Else & Betraying You 

Updated on Aug 24, 2023

20 Signs He is Fantasizing about Someone Else & Betraying You 

No matter how old your relationship is, it can be extremely hurtful to pry on signs he is fantasizing about someone else.

While you need to talk it out with him if it is really the case, you must not make any decisions until you’re sure.

20 Signs He is Fantasizing about Someone Else

An occasional fantasy about some celebrity or movie star is harmless and occurs commonly. But what if it is more than that?

Your partner might not have cheated on you sexually, but if he is emotionally invested in someone else, it might be time to dig deeper.

So, what are some signs, also known as glaring red flags, that he is fantasizing about someone else? Let’s find out.

1. He is not showing physical affection like before

Physical intimacy goes beyond acts of sex.

Acts like cuddling on the couch, holding hands, gentle leg rubs during lunch, or goodbye kisses are indicative of intimacy.

They show that there you both are fostering a healthy relationship.

But if your partner has suddenly stopped such displays of physical affection, it might be because he is more focused somewhere else.

2. He mentions shared experiences that you’ve never had together

This one can be extremely disappointing, but you have to walk through the fire to know the truth.

If he talks about the time when you went skating together, while you two haven’t ever done that, he may have been confused with his other love interest.

Further, he will try to give a new direction to this conversation when confronted. He might tell that he has gone with his other guy friend or brother, but you can clearly tell that he is lying.

3. He is never off his phone

It can be terrible to be spending time with someone who just refuses to get off the phone. It shows that you’re not important to him, especially when he doesn’t even look at you when either one of you are talking.

He might say he is answering work emails. But honestly, if it was really the case, he would ask for some time off, wrap it up and then come back to you.

So, if you see him on the phone all the time when he is with you, it’s probably a sign that he is distracted by some other woman.

4. He shows that he is too busy

When you started seeing him, he would always turn up for dates and dinners before time. Suddenly, now, his schedule is all caught up, and he doesn’t even have a minute to spare.

If you ask him what he is up to, he might give you weird answers – something like, “My work is getting the better of me” or “My family needs me.”

Well, this may all be because he wants to spend time with his new-found fantasy.

5. He is not putting effort into little things 

He would shower you with affection when you started dating – open the door for you or pull a chair for you, buy you gifts and flowers, or take you out on dates.

And, he would also send you sweet messages throughout the day, telling you that he is thinking of you.

However, if he suddenly stops putting effort like that, it is a surefire sign that someone else has his attention now.  

6. The PDA is nowhere to be found

Okay, not everybody likes to show their affection publicly. But if he would do that earlier without any hesitation and has suddenly stopped, it’s not a good sign.

If he avoids kissing you in public or refuses to even hold hands, something is going on. He might be cautious of not being seen in public with you because he is thinking of someone else.

7. He is not interested in a future together

Most couples spend a lot of time making plans for the future.

It doesn’t necessarily have to be big things; it can be tiny-little things like discussing your dream home or your perspective on marriage.

If he is not taking interest in such conversations anymore, and giving you reluctant answers, he is thinking of some other woman.

He doesn’t see you with him in the future, and so, doesn’t want to spend time planning what’s not certain.  

8. The enthusiasm is lost!

Do you feel that your guy is lost somewhere else when he is with you?

Do you feel that he doesn’t open his heart to you anymore? Or that he doesn’t listen to you wholeheartedly?

You might also catch him looking at the time frequently while you both are in a conversation. All these are clear indications that someone else has its attention now. 

9. The way he introduces you to his friends and family is different

It, of course, defines your relationship when you both refer to each other as girlfriend-boyfriend

But what if suddenly his behavior is changed? If you notice that he is not introducing you as his girlfriend and instead mentions your name, you must get cautious.

It’s a solid sign that he doesn’t want to be seen as a couple with you. This can be because he has something else in his mind and wants to avoid confusion socially.

10. He has turned more defensive or evasive

He was once very open about what he was doing throughout the day. But now, he doesn’t want to speak about it.

If you ask him, he gets defensive or evasive. Surely, he is hiding something.

It’s also possible that he might be meeting another woman or thinking about her.

11. He is reluctant to make eye contact

Eyes speak a thousand words. When a guy is into you, he will make deep eye contact with you.

Science says that eye contact releases chemicals in the brain that makes one feel affection.

When your man is avoiding this sign of love, he wants to hide from you what is going on within him.

He doesn’t maintain eye contact worrying that it will reveal his secret.

12. He refers to you using a different name

Imagine this, you are halfway through sex, and he screams out another name. Well, it is an awkward situation and a huge slip-up.

You can’t get a better sign that he is fantasizing about someone else.

And not just during sex, it might also happen in daily chores. He might unconsciously address you as someone else.

In such situations, his face will tell you the truth. If you find fear and shock written all over, it’s certain that another woman has made a home in his mind.

13. He suddenly has new interests and hobbies

Of course, it is fine to have separate interests as a couple, but if you find him indulging into hobbies that were never his field of interest, it is a matter of concern.

Maybe he is now watching cricket while he was more of a football guy. He now likes reading poetry, when he was more about drama.

It might be that your man has another woman in mind, and she is interested in these activities. He might be hoping to impress her by pursuing them.

14. He often daydreams

When your partner is fantasizing about someone else, they might not be present with you emotionally.

It is common to be exhibiting signs like blushing unconsciously or muttering happy memories when a person is fantasizing about someone. They might become dreamy all of a sudden.

If you can relate to this behavior, try asking him about it – his response will tell you a lot.

15. He wants to spend more me-time

Everyone needs some me-time. It is absolutely human. But there is a difference between needing space and creating a distance.

If your partner often needs alone time and resents spending time with you, you need to probe deeper into what is going on.

Of course, if he is fantasizing about someone else, he has to sort out his emotions alone or strike meaningful conversations with the woman to impress her… all under the guise of alone-time.

16. Important dates are not so important anymore

Yes, it’s normal to forget a few dates, but if he never missed any occasion earlier, no matter how tiny it is, there’s something fishy.  

Though such behaviors can be a sign of stress at work or some other emotional issues, the chance of fantasizing about another woman cannot be ruled out.

17. You find him more tired than usual

If your man is fantasizing about someone else and is worrying about it, it might be draining for him. Maybe he is caught off guard by his feelings, and he doesn’t want to cheat on you, which is overwhelming him.

If you ask him, he might dismiss you by saying, “It’s just something at work” or “ I am just not getting good sleep,” but the reality might be different.

He might be thinking of ways on how to handle his fantasies. He might be worried about his relationship with you and its future.   

18. You find him comparing you to someone else

He might make seemingly innocent remarks, but if he compares you with some other woman, you should stand upright!

It shows that he has been observing “this” woman with great attention.

It is not pleasant for you. Further, it might also hurt your self-esteem greatly if he talks about how you are not as beautiful as this woman and how you should be more like her.

It will be best if you address this early – your man is surely fantasizing about someone else!

19. Your sex life feels different

You may feel that your partner is not interested in having sex with you as often as they would want to.

Or he is not taking care of your pleasure as much as he used to. This might be a surefire sign that someone else has crept into your relationship.

He might also behave extremely opposite to what is suggested above. That is, he might have new, bizarre fantasies he wants to try with you, and they might not be focused on your pleasure at all.

These can be signs that he is trying to fulfill his fantasies about another woman… with you.

20. Your gut says that he has someone else on his mind

Maybe your man doesn’t exhibit any of the above signs, but you have an intuitive feeling that there is something amiss.

It is best to confront him if you feel that way. He wouldn’t want to have the conversation if he was playing you.

You might fear that your relationship will fall apart, but if he doesn’t love you anymore, you might as well end the relationship.

A word from ThePleasantRelationship

If you notice the above signs in your relationship, confront your partner and allow an honest conversation.

Open communication is important in such situations. If your partner admits they are fantasizing about another woman, ask yourself, do you even want to be in the relationship anymore?

Don’t be scared of walking away. You deserve better, buddy!