So, you want to know how to make your ex husband want you back. After the marriage broke apart, you felt your world crumble down and you’re eager to fix everything.
Well, let’s keep it 100% real and understand that it’s not simple to rebuild your lost love life. You’ll build another relationship with the same man… and there’s no chance of having the old relationship back.
With that in mind, let’s get moving and work on your goal…
How To Make Your Ex Husband Want You Back? – 20 Steps
While you try to make your man want you back, you’ll feel a hell lot of emotions. The heartbreak and desperation may force you to make some wrong moves. However, you can avoid that and make him itch to return by your side if you follow these steps…
1. Know yourself all over
After the marriage, you probably lost your individuality and focused more on “we” than “I.” So, start knowing yourself from scratch – likes, dislikes, how marriage changed you, expectations from marriage, your partner, and everything else.
With a clear understanding of the basics, you’ll feel less confused and more confident and focused on your goal – a happy married life.
2. Understand your relationship problems
Reflect on the root causes of your separation. No, it’s not the same as the cause of your divorce. Rather, that cause is only a symptom of the root cause, which is way deeper.
For instance, if you broke up because of a poor sex life, it’s probably because you guys lost general intimacy. Divorce due to excess fights and disagreement shows some unvoiced needs weren’t met.
3. Learn to control your emotions
It’s normal to get emotional and lose your calm after a divorce. However, don’t let things get to you because the fight is so long.
Before you approach your ex, learn to calm your high-running emotions. Follow a routine with meditation and breathing exercises.
If you deal with stressful emotions better, you’ll seem more mature and desirable to him.
4. Take some time and space away
If you’re thinking about reconciling right after the divorce, hold yourself back. Give him the time and space to experience the grief of not having you beside him. It’ll be easier to win him back if he misses you.
Let him process his role in the divorce and feel guilty for messing up. Don’t try to manipulate his thoughts and feelings, meanwhile.
5. Become the person he fell for
While he gets his space, you must focus on yourself. Remember which qualities of you he fell for. Whether it was your playful, thoughtful, or serious nature, nurture that.
Build those back and highlight those in yourself. Sure, he can’t see you or these qualities right away. But when you approach him later, these traits will show naturally and attract him.
6. Take care of yourself
It’s hard to take care of yourself post-divorce through the feelings of being abandoned and unworthy. However, you must fight these feelings to have him want you back.
So, stay physically fit with regular exercise, optimum sleep, healthy meals, and grooming routines. Pamper yourself with nighttime self-care routines to make yourself feel good and confident about yourself.
7. Take responsibility for your actions
Remember, it takes two to tango. Both of you were responsible for the divorce. So, identify and reflect on your actions that led to it.
If you can’t take accountability for your actions, history will repeat itself. You don’t want to reconcile and get separated from the same spouse again.
Work on your shortcomings. However, if you genuinely made no mistakes, understand how you can deal with situations better.
8. Reach out on an occasion
Once you’ve undergone the above steps, it’s time to hit up your ex. Of course, it won’t be an easy task, so don’t try to meet in person. Instead, choose a casual conversation starter for a text.
You can also hit them up on a special occasion like his parents’ anniversary. Drop an “It’s your parents’ anniversary this weekend. Tell them I wished them all the happiness in the world.”
9. Add in humor only if he replies
After the first conversation starter, don’t text him anymore. Otherwise, he will think you’re clingy and desperate and avoid your texts. You might overthink a lot until he replies. But resist the temptation and wait.
Once he replies, add in a hint of appropriate humor. This works especially well if you were always goofy in the past, and he liked it. So, bring up an inner joke or send a relatable meme to build a connection.
10. Seek his help and meet
For a while, build rapport through texts. When he warms up to you, seek his help for something. It can be moving furniture, asking about how the oil is changed in your car, or even advice on dealing with something at work.
It will trigger his hero instinct and make him feel wanted in your life. You can meet up in a neutral environment like a coffee shop for this help. Of course, if the excuse is about furniture, it has to be your home!
11. Talk about the old times
When you meet, get right to the point about whatever help you need. Once he warms up to you, reminisce about the good old times.
For instance, if he’s at your home, casually bring up old photographs like, “I just found it while cleaning.” If you’re in public, remind him how he always had your back before.
12. Show that you know him well
During this little catch-up, show that you know him the best. Feed him his favorite food and drinks.
You can also get his favorite brand or color of clothes or accessories as a form of appreciation for his help.
If he gets cold easily and the weather is windy, carry a muffler to keep him warm.
13. Apologize for your mistakes
While you’re at it, apologize for the past. Own up your mistakes with a genuine apology. It’ll show that you’ve grown, and he can give you another chance.
Of course, if you’re innocent, don’t admit any mistake you didn’t make. Instead, tell them how you didn’t handle the situation well. However, don’t overdo it.
14. Show your vulnerabilities and be direct
You’ve played your part well by acting strong and independent. So, show him a glimpse of your vulnerability. However, don’t go overboard, or you’ll push him away.
Share your feelings slightly about the separation. You can say that you miss him or regret everything to test the waters. If he responds positively, tell him that you want to work things out and reconcile. After that, bid goodbye for the day.
15. Become busy
After that, don’t initiate texts, calls, or meetups with your ex. Don’t reach out to his close ones or bump into him intentionally. Mute his social media stories so you don’t watch those.
If he reaches out to you, send short, delayed responses. Don’t let him know about your whereabouts. When he can’t get the attention, he’ll go crazy to get in touch.
16. Spend time with friends and show off
During this time, plan a hangout with friends. It can be a girls’ night out or a weekend vacation. Take cute pictures and post them on your social media.
When he notices those after feeling ignored, he’ll feel lonely and want to be a part of your happy life. Your gorgeous smile will make you seem more attractive and boost your chances of getting back together.
18. Don’t act desperate
Control yourself from seeking his attention. Intense romantic feelings and booze may often lead to mistakes. So, stay off the alcohol. It’ll prevent you from begging his attention in your drunk state at 2 am.
Some also advise going on dates to make him jealous. But you guys were married. If you get close to another man, he’ll think he has no chance. So, avoid this tactic!
19. Avoid messing up online
Many people post cringe worthy posts on social media about being happier after the divorce. Steer clear of that because that also makes you seem needy. He’ll know instantly what’s up if you dedicate mean or hurt posts like that and avoid you.
20. Never bomb them with texts
If you act clingy after playing cool, he’ll know the game and won’t want you back!
So, after following the above steps, don’t double-text him. If you must call him, do it once. He won’t like to see 15 texts and 50 missed calls from you.
A word from ThePleasantRelationship
Remember to be patient on this journey. It will take a lot of time for both of you to heal and regain feelings for each other. So, don’t expect results in a week.
Lastly, if there’s another woman in his life right now or he strictly ignores your texts, calls, and stories, give up and seek love elsewhere!
Surabhi wakes up every day with a drive to craft words that can create a soulful impact. Creatively adventurous, she is always seeking to learn new skills and acquire new experiences. With a hidden soft corner for languages (especially Urdu), she writes poetry occasionally, binges on romantic shows, and LOVES to talk. A hustler, admirer, chaser, Surabhi is just another-someone who refused to give up on her dreams. She says, she is just somebody who’s trying to make herself a writer and for now, she’s just writing...