Are you doubting your marriage and seeking ways how to deal with toxic husband?
Though marriage can be the most beautiful and purest connection on Earth, yours is simply not. Your man is just not worth your time. Rather, he leaves you feeling worse about yourself.
Now, if things are unbearable, you can always get a divorce. However, if that option is not available for any reason, read on for tips to cope with it.
How To Deal With A Toxic Husband? 20 Ways
A toxic marriage is emotionally draining, but completely cutting ties isn’t always an option. Whether it’s due to kids, emotional entanglement, or social expectations, letting go is never easy.
However, if you do not see any future together and are struggling emotionally and mentally, here are a few ways to safeguard your mental well-being.
1. Don’t Get Too Involved
A toxic husband may constantly vent about others, complain of unfair treatment, or accuse you of wronging him.
To avoid getting caught in his negativity, respond with a simple, ‘I’m sorry you feel that way.’ This non-confrontational approach can help you maintain your peace.
2. Take A Note Of How He Makes You Feel
While occasional negativity or rudeness isn’t necessarily toxic, things can become too frequent and cause trouble.
Does he often put you down, lie, or abuse you emotionally and verbally? Is he oblivious to the impact of his words and actions on you?
Identify these patterns of his toxic behavior and its effects on you. This will empower you to handle interactions more effectively.
3. Confront Him About His Behavior
Sometimes, a toxic man does not realize the harm he causes. So, engage in an open conversation to help him understand that this is unacceptable.
Use ‘I statements’ and set boundaries. Approach him with honesty and empathy.
You can say things like, ‘I feel uncomfortable when I hear unkind things about your parents. I won’t participate in those conversations.’
4. It’s Okay To Be Selfish At Times
Toxic behavior can also involve emotional dependency or taking advantage of your kindness. Thus, it’s crucial to prioritize your well-being.
Don’t always give him your everything if he does not reciprocate. Avoid sacrificing yourself for his needs. Offer compassion, but don’t try to fix him.
5. Learn To Say NO
It’s challenging to turn down your husband and stand your ground, especially when he tries to manipulate you. However, it’s vital to assert yourself.
When he falsely accuses you or makes excessive demands, be assertive. Don’t let him walk all over you.
Use recent incidents or evidence to prove yourself innocent when falsely accused. Or tell him why his demands are unfair with proof.
6. Remember, It’s Not Always Your Fault
A toxic husband may manipulate you into feeling responsible for his actions, even when you’re not. Avoid internalizing his negativity.
Remind yourself that his behavior is not your fault. Reiterate your boundaries and avoid taking their spite personally.
7. Don’t Always Respond To His Calls
When toxic individuals sense they can’t manipulate someone, they back off immediately.
Make yourself less available to him to discourage his toxic behavior. Use work-related excuses to maintain your distance.
Avoid responding to all of his calls and texts unless he realizes his mistakes. You might face a little backlash initially, but things will be fine.
8. Limit Your Quality Time
Spending time with a toxic person becomes anxiety-inducing. So, consider reducing the amount of quality time – like dates. This way, you will have fewer moments to bear his toxicity.
After all, he’ll only use this time to focus on himself and talk his way out to actualize his goals.
9. Define Clear Boundaries
If you want to live a healthy and mess-free life, boundaries are essential.
Clearly define what behaviors you won’t tolerate. Use these boundaries to guide your interactions and protect yourself.
It may not be easy in the beginning as he will lure you into his toxicity. In that case, walk out of the room ASAP.
10. Don’t Rely Too Much On Logic
A toxic husband exploits logic in arguments, making it difficult to counter his points. Instead, he thrives on emotion-driven responses and personal attacks, making logical debates ineffective.
Hence, don’t bother wasting your time trying to win these arguments. It will probably be a failed attempt anyway.
Stay away from having any heated, rational, and logical conversation with him.
11. Prepare Your Exit Strategy From Conversations
Most toxic husbands get pumped up with toxic conversations. They love the feeling when they can crush you down to the ground with their rude comments and you cannot even retaliate.
You may get involved in toxic conversations with no way out. So, develop polite exit lines that let you disengage without confrontation.
A few exit lines like, ‘I need to go, I have a lot of work,’ ‘My mom is calling,’ etc, work great to step aside from the situation.
12. Create A Different Routine
Alter your routine and habits to minimize unwanted interactions. Watch your husband’s free time and keep yourself engaged accordingly.
Try eating meals separately and sleeping later than usual. These will limit your interactions with that certain someone.
13. Suggest Him To Get Therapy
Toxic behavior often stems from personal challenges. While it doesn’t excuse his actions, it encourages him to seek professional support.
Since he is your husband, consider addressing his harmful behaviors and encourage him to speak to a therapist.
Since he believes he’s perfect, he might get agitated. But, psychotherapy can help him manage his emotions and reactions more healthily.
14. Maintain Emotional Distance
Keep your interactions with your toxic man superficial and light, and avoid discussing personal matters. The goal is to maintain a safe distance and avoid personal information being used against you.
Toxic behavior may involve prying or oversharing, so shut down any such attempts.
15. Stay Calm And Grounded
Interacting with your toxic man is emotionally charging. So, manage your reactions, keep your composure, and maintain your peace by practicing emotional self-regulation techniques.
Use grounding techniques like deep breathing, muscle relaxation, and calming mantras to center yourself during tense interactions.
16. Invest in Self-Improvement
Concentrate your efforts on things that are worth it. Focus on self-growth and mental well-being, as personal development contributes to a healthier relationship.
Since you are in a marriage, it is not always your duty to keep the sparks flowing.
If you find no effort from your partner, do things that you like. Take a course, go on a vacation, or do anything that makes you feel better.
17. Practice Kindness Towards Yourself
Some things are beyond your control, and no matter how hard you try, you cannot change them. Thus, be a little kind to yourself. Relieve the burden on your heart and nurture positivity.
Acknowledge past mistakes and take full responsibility for them. Commit to learning from these errors to prevent their recurrence and safeguard the relationship’s future.
18. Leave The Past Behind
Let bygones be bygones. For the sake of rebuilding the relationship, let go of negative memories and start anew with a focus on creating positive ones.
Show compassion toward your man, treating him as you would like to be treated. Overcoming toxicity requires courage and a compassionate approach.
19. Confide In Your Loved Ones
There is only so much that you can handle by yourself. Hence, it is important to talk it out. Share your thoughts and opinions with your best friend or family member.
Give them an insight into your marital life and seek advice. Sometimes, a third-person perspective can help you more than you think.
20. Consider Going To A Therapist
If your man doesn’t want to seek therapy or change or you have no choice but to stay in the marriage, seek the support of a mental health professional.
His negative behavior can take a toll on your mental, emotional, and physical health. You might not always know how to get away from it.
Therapists provide guidance and a safe space to discuss and manage these difficult relationships.
A word from ThePleasantRelationship
While cutting a toxic husband out of your life may seem like the best solution, it’s not always possible or practical.
So, follow these ways to deal with him while safeguarding yourself and your family. Surround yourself with positive people, seek online support groups, and stand your ground to protect and heal yourself.
If things get tougher, a divorce is your ultimate option. So, strive carefully for your happiness and psychological security!
Are you interested to know more about ‘How To Rebuild Life After Divorce At 50’ then click here?
Surabhi wakes up every day with a drive to craft words that can create a soulful impact. Creatively adventurous, she is always seeking to learn new skills and acquire new experiences. With a hidden soft corner for languages (especially Urdu), she writes poetry occasionally, binges on romantic shows, and LOVES to talk. A hustler, admirer, chaser, Surabhi is just another-someone who refused to give up on her dreams. She says, she is just somebody who’s trying to make herself a writer and for now, she’s just writing...