Most people believe that the difference between love and obsession is so slim that you can’t tell them apart. However, there are major signs to understand which one your relationship is based on.
The major difference between love and obsession is how you treat your partners. Obsession does not allow you to respect your partner, while love ensures that you give the person a lot of respect.
But there’s a lot more to know, so let’s get to know all of them here!
22 Differences Between Love And Obsession
So, you’re in a relationship or got asked out by this person. But you’re just not sure if they truly love you or if they’re obsessed and want to possess you. Well, you need to spend some time together to understand them. After that, you only need to go through the differences here!
But if you’re in a hurry, go through the chart quickly!
|Point of difference||Love||Obsession|
|Relationship duration||This relationship lasts a lifetime.||This relationship ends in a short time.|
|Nature of relationship||You fulfill your desires.||Your partner imposes their wishes on you.|
|Boundaries||Your partner respects your boundaries.||Your partner may overstep boundaries.|
|Taking care of you||They don’t want any credit, simply done out of love.||They care for you to get credit.|
|Frequency of validation||They do not seek validation.||They want validation for everything.|
|Rate of possessiveness||They will care for you, but not be possessive.||They will be extremely possessive.|
|Rate of communication||They will talk with you only when needed and let you stay focused.||They want you to leave work for them and always pay attention to them.|
|Sharing levels of happiness||They become happy for your joy.||They are not always happy for you.|
|Sense of privacy||Love gives you a private space to explore yourself.||There’s no private space here.|
|Stalking||There’s no stalking.||They stalk you all day.|
|Guilt trip||They will not make you feel guilty for your mistakes.||They will leave no stone unturned to make you feel guilty for your misdeeds.|
|Sharing genuine feedback||They share true feedback with you to help you improve||They share only what you want to hear as feedback.|
|Neglecting friends and family||They don’t want you to ignore your family and friends for them.||They expect you to place them in a higher position than your friends and family.|
|Abuse||They won’t abuse you even if things go wrong.||They’ll abuse you.|
|Levels of trust||They trust you with all their heart.||They doubt you over petty things.|
|Feelings of suffocation||You feel liberated.||You feel suffocated.|
|Be clingy||They don’t hang around you all the time.||They always cling to you.|
|Levels of control||They don’t control your life.||They expect you to do everything as they say.|
|Rushing into relationship||This happens with time.||This is impulsive.|
|Constant pampering||There’s no unnecessary pampering.||They’ll pamper you all the time.|
|Decision-making||They will let you make your decisions and support them.||They’ll want you to follow what they decide for you.|
|Blackmail||There’s no blackmailing here, even if things get worst.||They blackmail you when you don’t follow what they ask you to do.|
However, if you have some time, going through the detailed explanations is recommended. To make sure you don’t misunderstand and lose a worthy person, get clarity here!
1. Love lasts forever, but obsession ends pretty soon
Love is all about people caring for each other. Hence, it keeps you tied together for a longer period, sometimes even a lifetime.
However, when you are obsessed, there are high chances things will not last long. The nature of obsession is infatuation, which fades pretty soon.
2. In love, you fulfill your desires together, unlike obsession
Love does not impose anything. In love, you and your partner can just fulfill individual desires freely.
When obsession governs a relationship, your partner imposes themselves and their desires on you.
3. In love, you respect boundaries, unlike in obsession
Love understands boundaries and ensures that there is enough respect. In love, you do not have to explain the boundaries. Your partner understands them themselves without clarification.
Obsession does not set any boundaries in the relationship. An obsessed person does not understand which areas they should not talk about.
4. In love, you care without a motive, unlike in obsession
In love, you both ensure that you take care of each other. But you don’t want approval out of that.
But obsession is all about getting you a trophy or achievement. It is all about getting credit. Your partner will not take care of you or make you feel cared for.
5. Unlike love, obsession is based on validation
In love, your partner will seek your opinion but not your validation in all instances.
But in a relationship based on obsession, the other person may always seek validation. Even if they think you are saying something which is not right, they will try to follow your opinion only.
6. Compared to love, there’s plenty of possessiveness in obsession
Possessiveness does not let any relationship blossom further. And the biggest difference between love and obsession is in the rates of possessiveness.
In the case of love, you and your partner will be caring and protective but not possessive.
In obsession, an individual will be extremely possessive of you, and they will not let you breathe freely.
7. You don’t need to communicate a lot, unlike obsession
Communication is an important part of a relationship. But in love, maintaining contact is not always possible. You both give each other enough time to work on your growth.
But in obsession, an individual will always want to maintain contact with you. They will want to talk to or message you around the clock, even if you are busy.
8. You share happiness in love, not in obsession
When in love, your partner will always share your happiness and be happier than you. They are genuinely happy for you and care about your achievements.
An obsessed person is not truly happy when you are happy. They do not share happiness levels at all, which harms the nature of the relationship.
9. Love gives privacy but not obsession
In love, the partner will always understand that privacy is needed. This allows you to come close to each other.
There is no sense of privacy in a relationship where the partner is obsessed with you. The partner does not understand that the need for privacy in any relationship is important.
10. Unlike love, there’s stalking in obsession
In love, a person will not stalk you. They will respect your personal space.
But stalking is one of the major features of obsession. A person obsessed with you will not leave any stone unturned to always stalk you, whether in real life or digitally.
11. They won’t make you guilt trip in love. It’s the opposite in obsession
In love, the partner makes you understand if you are wrong. They do not start guilt-tripping you the moment you make any mistake.
In an obsessive relationship, the partner will always make you feel guilty about living your life. They make you feel like you’re always mistaken. They blame you for the relationship not going right or for hurting them with your words.
12. People express feedback in love but hesitate in obsession
A person in love ensures that they can share their genuine feedback with you. They know that this will not harm the nature of your relationship and make you want to break up with them.
A characteristic feature of obsession is that the partner does not share genuine feedback with you. They think you might leave them when they start being honest with you.
13. Unlike love, obsession makes them neglect loved ones
In love, your partner understands you have a family and friend group who care for you and cherish your presence. So, they’ll want you to be available and spend time with your family.
People obsessed with you will slowly start neglecting their family and friends for you. They will start making excuses that they don’t want to spend time with them. Then they will start spending all their time with you.
Not only that, but they will also expect that you do the same. They will want you to cancel all your plans with your family and friends and slowly push you away.
14. There’s no abuse in love, but there is in obsession
A person truly in love with you will not abuse you in any way. They understand that relationships are not supposed to be this way, and giving space and respect is important.
If you have an obsessive partner, they may abuse you physically and mentally. Obsession makes one feel like they have a right to you and can do anything they want.
15. Unlike love, there’s a lack of trust in obsession
In love, the partner will show a lot of trust in you and ensure that you do not feel violated.
A person who is obsessed with you will not trust you. They will doubt you whenever you talk to anyone else.
16. Love doesn’t suffocate you, obsession does
Love does not make you feel suffocated; instead, you feel that you have been liberated in life. But an obsessive partner makes the relationship suffocating.
17. Compared to love, obsession is clingy
In the case of love, you can be yourself without being pretentious and paying constant attention to your partner.
A common characteristic feature of obsession is that the person is extremely clingy. They always try to be in your head.
18. Love isn’t controlling like obsession
Your partner will not try to control you when in love. They will give you enough space to do things your way.
On the other hand, when a person is obsessed with you, they will want to control all of your activities. This includes how you should dress, what you should eat, or even who are the people that you should meet.
19. A relationship based on love needs time, unlike obsession
Love takes time to brew, so there is a major difference between how soon you are ready to fall in love.
But in obsession, you will fall into the relationship much earlier than you should.
20. Unlike love, there’s constant pampering in obsession
A person who is in love clearly understands the limits and pampers you only when it is needed. They don’t take action to prove anything to you but only out of sheer love.
A person obsessed with you will try to pamper you constantly. This includes even going out of their way and getting you gifts. They will not leave any chance to pamper you, which happens in every instance.
21. You independently decide in love, but not in obsession
When in love, the person understands and trusts your choice. They support your decision and only help the process.
One of the major trademarks of obsession is that the person will start making all the decisions for you. These decisions are both personal and professional.
22. Love has no space for blackmail, but it’s different in obsession
Finally, a person in love does not blackmail you. They will be beside you like a strong pillar of support through all decisions.
When it comes to obsession, the person will blackmail you when you want to leave the relationship or do something without their approval.
A word from ThePleasantRelationship
Look for these differences in your relationship, and you’ll get your answers. By any chance, if you notice it’s more of an obsession than love, don’t jump to conclusions. Communicate your thoughts and check if they mend their ways. If nothing changes, walk away!
And, if it’s love, rejoice and be grateful for finding a great partner!
Are you interested to know more about ‘What Does It Mean When a Guy Calls You Cute’ then click here?
Are you interested to know more about ‘Signs You are In A Relationship and Don’t Know It’ then click here?
Surabhi wakes up every day with a drive to craft words that can create a soulful impact. Creatively adventurous, she is always seeking to learn new skills and acquire new experiences. With a hidden soft corner for languages (especially Urdu), she writes poetry occasionally, binges on romantic shows, and LOVES to talk. A hustler, admirer, chaser, Surabhi is just another-someone who refused to give up on her dreams. She says, she is just somebody who’s trying to make herself a writer and for now, she’s just writing...