Do you want to know the best way to deal with a narcissistic husband after finding out about his mental health issue?
Narcissism requires lifelong treatment, but very few narcissists actually go to therapy. So, it can be a major struggle to lead a married life with him.
But not anymore, because you’ll soon find your solution here!
25 Best Way To Deal With A Narcissistic Husband
Before you try to deal with a narcissistic husband, you need to educate yourself on Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Understand what it is. why it happens, and the effects it has on you. Get a clear grip on the matter. This will help you navigate the situation better.
Once you’ve done that, learn all the strategies here!
1. Develop the right communication skills
Conversations with a narcissist can get one-sided, judgemental, invalidating, and even manipulative. So, develop the right communication skills. For example, you should use ‘I’ statements when talking to them.
Moreover, since they may completely disregard your opinions, practice being calm when talking to them.
2. Frame everything as if it is to his benefit
A narcissistic husband may rarely care about your needs. So, when you need him to do something, frame things as if they are to his benefit.
When you ask him to help you cook dinner, tell him how it will show people how good a husband he is.
3. Take him to therapy
Narcissists often suffer from low self-esteem and inadequacy, so many need professional help.
But they believe they know better than everybody else. They may refuse to take a doctor’s suggestion.
So, tell him that if he seeks therapy, he will actually help the relationship. Never put all the blame on him.
4. Consult a trusted friend or relative
A relative or trusted friend can tell you things like how long this has been a problem. You’ll know his triggers and things in his past to work through and get rid of this problem.
5. Try to get to the root of the problem
Did he get bullied in school? Did his parents abuse him?
Dig through his past to get to the roots. Step into his shoes and see where he is coming from. Only when you do that will you be able to make things better.
6. Find out if he is willing to change
Unless you know he wants to change, you can’t decide whether you can work on the relationship.
If he won’t change his ways, then there is literally no point in trying.
7. Give him attention
Sometimes, the only way to deal with a narcissistic husband is to give him the attention he wants. Though not a long-term solution, it gives you temporary relief.
So, take some time to listen to him talk, even if all he talks about is himself.
8. Be patient
It’s normal to get fed up with the constant manipulation and abuse. So, it becomes even more important to be patient while living together and dealing with him.
If you lose your cool, all of your hard work will go to waste!
9. Avoid getting into arguments
If you get involved in every fight he picks, you can get burnt out. Moreover, it is impossible to argue constructively with someone who has a grandiose sense of self.
So, rather than being reactive, you can stay silent or respond calmly.
10. Take note of his limitations
You cannot deal with a person you don’t understand. So, you need to face, understand, accept, and remember your husband’s limitations.
Remember that his issue is actually a coping mechanism for his inferiority complex. So, rather than perceiving him as mean-spirited, take him as quite vulnerable.
11. Set clear boundaries
Don’t give in to every one of his whims. Otherwise, you’ll actually fuel his behavior. A narcissistic person has little impulse control, so they may act stubbornly. So, always set clear boundaries.
12. Take care of yourself
Being in a relationship with a narcissist is a lot of work. You have to manage your emotions, reactions, and needs to fit his never-ending changes constantly.
Since it is easy to feel burned out, you must take care of yourself first. Eat healthy, get enough sleep and exercise, take long walks frequently, and join a yoga class.
13. Get an attorney who is familiar with narcissism
This step will help you create a safety net for if and when things get out of hand. It’ll help you during legal situations.
An attorney familiar with narcissism can help you without explaining the specifics of his condition.
14. Share your feelings
A narcissist can’t put themselves in your shoes or empathize with you. Your husband will never realize how his words or behavior affects you.
So, be honest about your feelings with him. If and when he hurts you, tell him. If he crosses a boundary, let him know.
15. Gain self-awareness and understand your triggers
Figure out whether you have any childhood trauma which can come up because of his behavior. Try to work out which of his behaviors affect you the most.
Self-awareness of your own triggers will help you keep yourself mentally fit.
16. Don’t believe in what they say about you
He may spew a lot of lies about you and charge you with false allegations to feel better. Stop giving credit to such lies.
Remember, everything he says about you is an attempt to abuse you. So, don’t let him gain the upper hand over you.
17. Establish a support network
It’s not easy to find people who’ll understand your situation having a narcissistic husband. People may even turn away since they don’t want to get involved in your drama.
Since this can be isolating, it is vital to establish a support group and combat loneliness. Find an online group of people in the same situation.
18. Remember that a divorce is an option
You should leave your husband if he’s emotionally abusive, violent, or threatens to leave you or take your children away.
19. Don’t give him the reaction he wants
Narcissists love to get a reaction out of you. So, the worst thing you can do is to give him the reaction he wants. It will only trigger him to repeat his bad behavior.
So, even if he says something infuriating, take a deep breath and calm yourself.
20. Spend very little time at home
Sometimes, the only thing you can do to deal with a narcissistic husband is to spend time away from him.
The more you limit your interactions with him, the less he will be able to get into your head. So, get a work shift that is opposite from his. Make sure you spend minimal time in his presence.
Moreover, you will also become financially independent and even build a supportive network of co-workers.
21. Figure out healthy coping mechanisms
Your mental health can easily get affected due to his behavior. So figure out coping mechanisms that work for you.
For example, you can reach out to a loved one to share your worries. Or, you can practice positive affirmations.
22. Stand up for yourself
Don’t get flustered or show your annoyance to his actions. Instead, calmly tell him how his words or behaviors affect you. Stand up for yourself and don’t let him convince you otherwise.
23. Don’t give him any power over your emotions
This can be the hardest thing to do, but it’s important for your peace of mind. So, try not to give him any power over your emotions.
Don’t let him ruin a good day with a hurtful comment or an act of petty selfishness. You cannot control his behavior, but you can control how you react to it.
24. Monitor your self-esteem
Living with a narcissistic husband can affect your self-worth adversely. So, you should keep a check on your self-esteem and never let it fall.
Practice positive affirmations, be kind to yourself, notice your good traits and achievements, and reward yourself. Remember, you are the victim here, and his bad behavior is not your fault.
25. Find out the triggers for his behavior
Identify what triggers certain behaviors in him. Narcissists usually react violently when you criticize them or when they are not the center of attention. Monitor his behavior to understand what puts him off.
A word from ThePleasantRelationship
Remember, a relationship with a narcissistic husband can turn abusive. So, you need to ask yourself how much you are willing to take and whether it is taking a heavy toll on your mental health.
Try everything on the list to make the marriage work. But if you can’t cope, remember that leaving is always an option.
Surabhi wakes up every day with a drive to craft words that can create a soulful impact. Creatively adventurous, she is always seeking to learn new skills and acquire new experiences. With a hidden soft corner for languages (especially Urdu), she writes poetry occasionally, binges on romantic shows, and LOVES to talk. A hustler, admirer, chaser, Surabhi is just another-someone who refused to give up on her dreams. She says, she is just somebody who’s trying to make herself a writer and for now, she’s just writing...