If you’re here reading this guide on how to get over your crush, I understand what you’re going through.
But let me tell you that it’s still better than letting yourself be consumed in grief and sorrow of rejection.
No doubt things are rosy and colorful when you first lay your eyes upon this person, the euphoria is simply at its peak.
However, when your relationship does not head in the direction you wanted it to, the situation simply “crushes” all your expectations and desires from the person. You step into a gloomy world where it is hard to get over fantasies and dreams.
Maybe you’ve been struck with a realization that it wasn’t “just a crush” after all. It becomes even more difficult to get back to your normal days.
Whether it was true love or a crush, understand that there’s always a way out.
You can deal with heartbreak only when you decide to invest all your efforts in moving ahead in life and focusing on better things.
…and that’s where I step in, with this guide that contains 35 tips on how to get over a crush.
How to Get Over a crush – 35 Tips
Does unrequited love make you feel sad? Then instead of focusing on your crush, feel sorry for your mental health. Your mental health is far more important than any object of affection.
Was your crush the only person in the world that you could date? Of course not! The entire world is waiting for you with its arms wide open to embrace all your wishes.
All you need is to give yourself a couple of chances. Want to give it a chance right now? Just read on!
Once you’re done reading, I am sure you’ll finally be able to see the light once again and maybe even get back to looking for people who really deserve you.
1. All this is temporary
Before telling you anything else, or consoling you for what you’re going through, let me tell you that this is temporary.
You are going to laugh at yourself and how foolish you acted once you are over this period.
You have to constantly reassure yourself that this too shall pass. You will move on and find better people to rely upon.
Mate, you have beautiful days waiting for you ahead.
2. You’re not alone
Do you think you are the only one who has been through this phase? Not at all!
There are millions and millions of people who are dealing with such feelings way more strongly than you can imagine.
Why would you want to victimize yourself? Don’t over-hype this feeling and period because it’s all going to get back to normal.
3. Focus on moving on
You won’t get a better time to indulge in a self-care routine. This is the best period to focus on your own life.
The relationship that you share with yourself is the most important and you need to commit to yourself that you are going to take full care of it.
We will definitely talk about what are the things that you need to do but swear by focusing on moving on.
4. Sweat it out
Are you feeling suffocated with the feeling of dejection and non-acceptance? Sweat it out. Yeah! That’s the best idea. It’s the best period to take up an exercise routine.
Exercising regulates the blood flow in every part of your body. It flushes the accumulated particles in the blood thus, detoxifying your system.
Exercise also improves breathing and flexibility… you’ll feel refreshed not only from the outside but also from the inside.
When you’re sitting on a couch, succumbing to the pain… the world seems more harsh than it actually is.
5. I am happy: Self-affirmation
The feeling of insufficiency and not good enough is bound to kick in. But for a few minutes in the day, dismiss what you are actually feeling and try whispering some positive statements to yourself.
It might seem like an impractical approach but only until you try it out for yourself.
Make it a point to repeat the three words and listen to them mindfully before hitting your bed at night. The next morning, repeat the process…. eventually, you’ll find yourself in a better place than now.
6. Adapt good habits
Apart from exercising, there are other good habits that you can integrate into your daily routine.
For example, you can adapt to a healthy diet, start meditation, or even start journaling – it will not only help you move on but also prove to be productive in the long run. The change now is going to reward you later. So why not?
7. Ditch the sedentary lifestyle
Engage yourself in activities that do not allow you to sit at the same place for a long time. However, if your job demands otherwise, take a 3 minutes walk after each hour of sitting.
Sitting at the same place is going to direct your mind back to the suffocating feeling and memories of your crush. You don’t want that. So, it’s better to embrace a more active lifestyle.
8. Keep yourself busy
Keep yourself engaged at all times.
If you’ve spare time available, sign up for new courses or pick up small household chores such as gardening, showering your pet, cleaning the house, and so on.
If you sit idle, you’ll feel worse about your situation.
9. Detox inside out
If you really want to get over this phase of your life, you need to detox… yes, you heard it right. To get rid of the unwanted, you need to rub it off!
So, take a long shower. Make sure you scrub every part of your body. Eat clean food and stay away from junk.
Junk food is just going to add to your feeling of loneliness and put you in a vicious circle of eating unhealthy during stress.
You definitely feel relaxed when you gorge on junk but the depressed feelings will come rushing back shortly after you are done eating. You start craving junk again, and the chain continues.
Next, clean your room. The bedsheet, the curtains, the cupboards, the corners, the mirror table, everything needs to be bright and clean.
Switch to bright and light-colored clothes, curtains, and bedsheets.
The deep cleansing and detoxification are just going to make you feel good about everything that you have around you, including your body.
I’m not asking you to get addicted to masturbating or other sorts of physical pleasures. But engaging in health is not a bad idea at all.
Sex will release some good hormones in your body and will help you feel relaxed. Feeling relaxed is of course better than feeling victimized. You get my point. Right?
11. Make yourself feel special
What does it take to make you feel special? New dress? Shopping, chocolates, dinner in the most expensive restaurant, hot shower, a pamper massage in the parlor? So, what is stopping you from doing all of that?
You are unique and you are special just the way you are. This is the most important truth that you need to accept and make yourself believe.
Understand that you don’t need a third person to make yourself feel valued and cherished.
12. Accept your feelings
Instead of denying the fact that you have a crush on someone, try accepting it. You don’t need to admit it in front of anyone else but yourself.
Remember, you can find a solution to something only if you know the problem.
Even if you have a crush on someone who can’t be approached, like your teacher, or maybe a cousin’s brother, it’s okay, there’s nothing wrong with it.
Having a crush on someone unexpected is common. Just admit it to yourself. This will make you feel more relaxed and less burdened.
Now, set yourself free, and allow your heart to feel what it’s feeling… it’ll eventually make you feel better and you may move on.
13. It takes time
The emotional trauma that you go through when you have a crush on someone is quite devastating.
Even when you never express yourself in front of your crush, in the fear of rejection… or have been rejected after confession – you feel hurt, helpless and betrayed.
So, don’t rush the healing or blame yourself for feeling that way. Give yourself the time it needs to move on… and understand that you can’t expect the pain to go away overnight.
It’s not a mechanical process with a handbook and validity.
14. Get enough sleep
The break-ups not only affect your mental health but also have a very negative impact on your physical health as well.
Often people suffering from emotional trauma don’t get enough sleep and that’s when things keep spiraling.
Make an effort to limit your suffering and not let it creep into your physical boundaries.
Take different measures that guarantee peaceful sleep. Regular exercise, meditation, or yoga are a few of them.
Remember, a good night’s sleep allows your brain to think clearly and make well-informed decisions… and I’m sure you’ll need that while you’re trying to get over your crush.
15. Optimize support system
Supporting yourself with positive self-talk is the best thing you can do because the relationship that you have with yourself is above everything.
All you have to do is to channel your energy and use it in the right direction. Book your slot for the hike you always wanted to go on, or the piano classes that you always wished to attend.
Well, this is the time for you to work on yourself and move forward.
16. Try Yoga or Meditation
Meditation and Yoga are extremely beneficial for people who’re chasing peace. Enroll yourself in a nearby yoga class, it will not only help you calm down, and move on from your crush but also improve your physical health, and mental peace.
Apart from yoga, you can also go for massage therapy. These things yield several benefits for your body.
So, instead of wasting your time thinking about someone who doesn’t give a damn about you…utilize it for yourself.
17. Spend time in the lap of nature
Nature has a way around your soul. It gives you a strange sense of calm and tranquility. If you ever feel down or want to be alone, take a walk amidst nature.
The trees and the green make you feel closer to yourself and keep you distracted from all the negative energy that blocks your mental peace.
So, if you are looking to distract yourself from the thoughts of your crush, you might as well spend time in the lap of nature.
If needed, integrate it into your daily routine… Soon you’ll find yourself in a better place.
18. Try viewing things from the rational angle
When we are deeply affectionate towards someone, we often tend to ignore all their bad traits. We’re so engrossed in admiring their good qualities, that the bad ones seem blurred.
But that’s not the right way to look at it. If you’re looking for a long-term relationship with someone, you need to commit to it in the light of the real world, not under the shadows of your fantasy world.
Ignore their positive traits for a while, and pay attention to their daily life behavior, it’ll help you gain a larger perspective.
Don’t just fantasize about your crush based on their outer appearance, or looks. Try to get in depth of their heart and character in reality.
19. Cry, if you want
Running away from your feelings is totally not an option. Instead, you need to sit with it face-to-face and confront the pain.
Would you like to be with the person who made you cry? Come on, you don’t deserve this honey!
So, look at yourself in the mirror, cry your heart out and whisper “I don’t deserve this!”. If one isn’t enough, do it again tomorrow… but don’t look back.
Like it’s said, cry if you may… but don’t give up!
20. Don’t let the pain consume you
I may have asked you to confront your feelings and accept your suffering but this doesn’t imply that you can let it consume you.
If these feelings continue to haunt you longer than required then you need to distract yourself.
So, pick up a few tips from this list and get going… don’t wait for someone else to give you a push, instead push yourself out of this pit and get back to the drill.
21. What’s your favorite activity?
Dance, paint, pottery or maybe Netflix and Chill.
Do what you like… whoever you like… whenever you like.
This keeps the never-ending thoughts of your crush at bay and also boosts your self-confidence.
If you love traveling then why are you sitting at home thinking about your crush, or if you love partying, just go out and hit a club and have some fun.
22. Talk about how you feel
The best advice to get over your crush is to vent it all out. Let yourself free, talk about it with your roommate or friends or cousins or anyone who you trust.
Talking or sharing about it makes you feel light, opens up your mind and makes you much more relaxed.
It feels like a burden released from the shoulders. And when you talk about it, you will also be exposed to other people’s perspectives and experiences.
You will also have your own support group who knows everything about you… and can help you get back up when the pain seems unbearable.
23. Surround yourself with friends and family
Talking to your loved ones always helps, no matter what situation you’re in. Your friends or family members are your “loved” ones for a reason… they understand you like no others.
So, find your close circle… whether it’s a friend or a family member, and let it all out.
They are not only going to support you but also give you the best advice to help get over this situation.
If you don’t want to talk about your crush, then you may just catch up with them.
They are the only people who’ll be able to keep you distracted for longer periods and lead you to a happy place.
24. Rant with a stranger
We are living in a tech-driven generation… It has both pros and cons to it. You have millions of apps out there that allow you to meet new people every day. So, why not make use of it?
While you must be careful with who you strike conversations with, sometimes it’s beneficial to vent out in front of people who don’t know you.
This eliminates the fear of judgments and you can talk about your feelings without any filters… further helping you in this process.
25. Share your feelings in a journal or letter
When there is no one to hear you out… or you feel insecure sharing your feelings with someone, your diary will never let you down.
Writing a letter or journal sometimes feels very satisfying and therapeutic when you feel sad, unheard or confused.
You don’t need to send these letters to your crush or anyone else. In fact, no one even needs to know about this.
So, just pick out a diary, scribble whatever you feel, and keep it yourself.
Wanna know something even better? You can rip off the pages or burn them after writing. Trust me, it will feel like you just released heavy weights from your chest
26. Limit your social media usage
I know it’s really exciting when it comes to getting a peek into someone’s life you really admire. You want to know everything that they’re up to.
But, if you really want to get over your crush, you need to fight this urge, no matter what. Unfollow them from all social media platforms.
I wouldn’t want you to “block” them, as it might raise questions, or they may take notice of it.
So, in order to avoid seeing their pictures and getting updates about their life, you should either mute their profile or unfollow them.
The less you see and know, the less it’ll affect you. And it will also allow you to move on.
Remember, social media is just a façade. The posts that you see on Instagram or Facebook are not the real representation of their daily life.
But, if you let this façade cloud your mind, it will keep you hanging in the middle… you may either feel that you still have a chance or self-loathe yourself with
27. Reset your feelings
I know it’s not as easy as it sounds but if you reset your thought process and start from ground up, it will definitely give you a fresh start.
Reorganizing your feelings will help you emerge out of the darkness and move in a constructive and progressive direction.
28. Don’t be friends with your crush
You should never try to be friends with your crush, just because the romance angle didn’t work out between you two. Trust me, this will only make things more complicated than it already is.
“You can’t be friends with someone, you’re in love with,” you might’ve heard that, and it’s undeniably true. Friendship never works if you already started feeling something more.
If you really want to get over them, then stop finding ways to keep them in your life. The more you stay away from them, the easier it’ll be for you.
Even if you get successful in establishing a friendship, it won’t last long, because eventually your feelings will take over, and you’ll end up asking them for a relationship again… putting yourself back to square one.
29. Talk to your crush
Communication is the key in building a healthy relationship. If your crush starts giving you mixed signals, and the “in-the-middle” status is taking the best of you, it’s time to confront it… and ask them directly.
Even if they reject you, a face-to-face conversation will at least tell you which way to pick.
So, if the feelings are bothering you and you just can’t handle it anymore, call your crush, and ASK!
If they don’t feel the same way, find your way out of this situation but if they’re feeling the same way, congratulations buddy!
30. Distance yourself from the crush
The tip of talking to your crush does not give you the liberty to spend more time with your crush.
Why do you want to spend time with someone who reminds you of unrequited love and unfulfilled desires? That is going to depress you further.
So, talking to your crush once in a while is fine. It normalizes everything between you and them.
But getting excessively involved is going to keep reminding you of the pain.
31. Go on a solo trip
It really works!
Whether you love traveling or not, just book your tickets and go on a solo-trip. You will meet strangers on the way and view others’ lives closely.
You’ll get a chance to connect with the outside world, see new things and explore new places… it will make you feel refreshed from the inside.
If you want to make the trip more adventurous, go on a trip without knowing the destination. Keep your destination a surprise for yourself… but be careful of where you’re headed.
32. Start dating
This may sound like a shitty idea to you at present… but try to understand the hidden intentions behind the advice.
If you want to get over your unfulfilled desires, change your desire. Start dating someone else.
You don’t have to force yourself to fall in love… you both can just hang out with each other and “figure out” the compatibility.
If your crush feels jealous, they might make a comeback. If not, you are just going to have another experience. Good or bad, you must face it bravely!
There is nothing wrong in putting yourself out there again. Don’t worry, if you are strong and mentally prepared for what you are doing, you will not be affected when you both part ways.
Tip: Always come out clean to the person you’re dating… you must not hurt anyone else while you’re learning to find your way back from the darkness.
33. Try crazy and adventurous things
Rather than sitting in your room all day, wasting time thinking about your crush, you can make use of the time to try something completely crazy!
I know it is going to scare you for a while, but believe me, you’ll love it when you have completed the task! Make sure you don’t risk your physical or mental health in the process.
This will help you get rid of all the negative thoughts and romantic feelings. While you do new things, you’ll meet new people, and talk to them.
Your self-confidence will get the much-desired booster and you’ll start enjoying your own company.
You’ll be so engaged in these activities that you’ll not have any spare time to think about your crush.
34. Where’s the confidence?
The rejection can take a bad hit on your confidence level. You feel inferior to others and the feeling of self-doubt starts to creep in.
But, hey stop giving these false messages to your brain. You’re not inferior to anyone out there.
Understand that, No One Is Perfect. Neither your crush, nor me. We are all humans, we have got flaws and that’s what makes each of us unique.
So, don’t blame this rejection on you… take it as a life lesson and move on!
35. Seek expert support
If you have tried everything and still feel like you are on square one, then buddy you need a relationship expert.
And there’s nothing wrong if you want to talk to a therapist, as this has now started to affect your everyday life and most importantly your mental health.
Nothing is more precious than your mental health. So once you feel like this rejection is becoming a hurdle for your peace, don’t think twice before contacting an expert.
So, these were some tips to help you find your way out of this mess. None of these tips are difficult or challenging. However, you cannot adapt to all of them overnight.
Start your journey with small steps. They are definitely going to lead you to a happier lifestyle.
But since you’re already bothered about the process, you definitely want to know…
How long does it take to get over a crush?
Just like you take time to develop feelings for someone, it takes time to get over those feelings too.
Some recent psychological research claims that it can take as long as 4 months to get over your crush. It hardly takes longer than this.
But there’s no one answer to this.
The time taken to get over your crush will not be the same for everyone. While some people take longer to heal, for some people it’s a matter of a week. It varies greatly from one person to another.
As I said, start your journey with smaller steps and eventually try to follow all the tips mentioned above and you will see that you have covered a long journey.
When you look back, you will be overwhelmed to see how far you have come… from the state of rejection to the seat of acceptance and self-sufficiency.
What matters is the time that you take to heal your life is not just going to help you get over your crush, but it is actually going to help you redirect your life towards your ambition.
You are going to land up as a more confident, strong, and successful individual, who does not depend on anyone else for happiness.
A word from ThePleasantRelationship
True that… things are easier said than done.
If you are unable to think about anything else except your crush, you feel miserable without any reason, you can’t find happiness in anything, or you’re questioning your worth…. Dear, you really need help.
If your feelings are way too intense then you need an immediate solution… Talking to a therapist may help.
However, if you are able to cope up with the situation all by yourself, kudos to you and your commitment to get over it.
Nothing can stop you from growing as a person and achieving all the happiness that you aspire for!
Surabhi wakes up every day with a drive to craft words that can create a soulful impact. Creatively adventurous, she is always seeking to learn new skills and acquire new experiences. With a hidden soft corner for languages (especially Urdu), she writes poetry occasionally, binges on romantic shows, and LOVES to talk. A hustler, admirer, chaser, Surabhi is just another-someone who refused to give up on her dreams. She says, she is just somebody who’s trying to make herself a writer and for now, she’s just writing...